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A Farewell to Remember

July 8, 2015

I drifted through the farewell party, feeling unmoored.  Our house, no longer our home, stood empty a couple of blocks away.  Our belongings were en route to a new city, our departure imminent. Yet here Zora and I stood in celebratory pause, having our last hurrah, a Happy Trails party to launch us toward our new home.

I knew I would be back in Richmond again soon.  I had a house to sell and projects to lead, but I didn’t know if I would be back again with Zora, and I needed to reassure myself that I had done enough to impress the place upon her heart. It was, after all, her first home, where she was born and I became her mother.

As a parent, it’s my job to make the good stuff stick.  To consciously fortify my daughter with the kind of experiences and people that will lift her up for a lifetime.  To communicate every day that she is loved, valued and supported. The message is vital. Daily delivery is the very least I must do if she’s to thrive in a world where hate and violence bloom, also.

That maternal calling felt especially strong as our 1,500-mile journey to Texas neared. I had lived in six states in the last ten years, but this was to be Zora’s first big move.  I wanted her to be forever rooted in Richmond, even as she left to flourish elsewhere.

I thought giving her a send off to remember could help.  So I ordered a few of her favorite things–cupcakes from Pearl’s, mac and cheese from Mama J’s, a performance from Culture Queen–and invited a slew of her favorite people to party with us.

Balloon-CowgirlI wanted the crafts and the balloons, the love and the laughter.  A spectacle grand and fun enough to leave an impression and colorful photos to conjure the day as memories receded.  I wanted to engage every sense with standout props, flavorful and fragrant food, catchy songs, and, most importantly, warm embraces.

I watched as guests aged one to 70, from every phase of Zora’s young life, ate, danced and played. Friends from my childbirth classes, our doula, and her nanny showed up. Playdate pals and Montessori schoolmates showed out.  To see them all assembled in one place was a spectacular gift, confirmation of the close, caring village that had nurtured her.

I wondered how moved Zora was by the affair and how long the effect would last. I took comfort in her near-constant smiles that day.

Now, all these weeks later, happy and settled in our new house, I still feel the love and think she does too.  “That was the best party ever,” she says.  Until the next one, I think, with visions of future celebrations flashing ahead, the birthdays and dance parties that will make this new place home.

Cowgirl-Carrigan
Cowboy-Archie
Cowgirl-Asani
Yee-Haw
Zora-Cupcakes
Culture-Queen
Party-Row
Eve-Zora-Carrigan
Zora-Archie
Photo-Strip
Cowgirls-Zora-Maya

Question: How do you preserve memories of places and people you’ve loved?

Photos by: A Lovely Photo (http://www.whatalovelyphoto.com/) and Elle Photo Booth (http://ellephotobooth.com/)

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7 Comments · Parenthood

Comments

  1. Wanda

    July 8, 2015

    Maya you are a Wonderful mother..I can feel your love and your beautiful spirit….I am praying for you and your family daily…be blessed
    Proverbs 31:25
    International Standard Version
    Strength and dignity are her garments; she smiles about the future.

    Reply
    • Maya Smart

      July 9, 2015

      Thank you so much for your note–and prayers!

      Reply
  2. Kirsten Sanderford

    July 8, 2015

    The entire Smart family is missed in Richmond. However, the opportunities that are in your future are awesome. We have a picture of you, my daughter and her classmates at cotillion on our family bulletin board. Your presence in Richmond was meaningful. Good luck in Texas. Can’t wait to attend a career fair at the university in September. Maybe I will have my havoc shirt on!

    Reply
    • Maya Smart

      July 9, 2015

      Thank you! I was honored to represent the Richmond Christmas Mother Fund at cotillion and pleased to meet so many families.

      Reply
  3. Hilary

    July 9, 2015

    What a wonderful celebration! I’m sorry that we had to miss it, but it looks as though it was exactly what you both needed as you begin your new chapter in Texas. I’m so glad that we had a chance to become friends and that the girls had fun times together playing at our house and pumpkin picking last year. When it comes to preserving the memories of people and places we’ve loved, I am so glad to be living in this digital age. I may be in the minority of people who actually print out their pictures and put them in albums. Flipping through the dozens of albums I have makes for a great rainy day activity. Hope you all are settling in and making lots of new memories.

    Reply
    • Maya Smart

      July 9, 2015

      Thanks, Hilary! I’m trying to get my photo act together and hope to create some non-digital albums this year. I have some from my childhood that consistently deliver laughs and smiles all these years later. They are like little time capsules of particular moments of my youth. There’s something special about holding them in hand. Feels more immediate than scrolling through shots on a screen.

      Reply
  4. Pamela Hamilton-Stubbs

    July 20, 2015

    May God bless and keep you and your family. Looking forward to reading about life in Texas

    Reply

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Hey There, I’m Maya!

Maya Smart

I’m Maya Payne Smart, a journalist, book lover, and literacy advocate. I split my time between deep reading and slow writing, often about dynamic women who lift as they climb. My focus? Promoting a #litrich lifestyle for families and individuals. I aim to show parents what it takes to raise fluent readers and to connect people of all ages to great books and authors. I also share productivity tips, interviews, and more, when inspiration strikes.

About   |   Why I Blog   |   Austin Woman Cover Story

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