How to Help Kids Focus: 6 Ways to Stretch Your Child’s Attention Span

The ability to sit and focus is crucial from kindergarten alphabet lessons to third-grade book reports to high school coursework. Kids who get distracted too easily will have a harder time at each stage, while a well-developed attention span can be a game-changer at each. 

Yet a strong ability to focus is an ingredient of academic success that often flies under parents’ radar—and it may be a strength fewer kids are bringing to the classroom these days. Typical attention spans have been getting shorter in recent decades, according to research into how long people spend on a task before switching to something else. Researchers found that study subjects working on computers now averaged just 47 seconds focusing on a task before breaking to check their emails or something else. In 2004, the average was two and a half minutes.

Luckily, there are ways to develop attention. Experts say that we can actively build our own attention and ability to focus. We can draw on the same strategies to help kids develop longer attention spans and better concentration. Below are six tips to help.

Note: Each child is unique. You’ll have more satisfaction if you try to help your child slowly stretch their personal ability to focus, rather than comparing them to someone else or a fixed goal. Some kids have medical challenges that need professional support. If you’re concerned, talk to your child’s doctor and other experts.

Start Small and Build Up

Experts say we can build our attention spans and ability to focus through practice, similar to strengthening our muscles through exercise. And just like a successful exercise program should start slowly and then ramp up, focus on growing your child’s attention span gradually.

It’s all about creating small opportunities for focused attention at first, then slowly increasing as your child is ready. An idealized process might see a growing child slowly progress through these steps: listening to a board book at a library’s story time as a toddler, sitting for a short circle time in kindergarten, absorbing longer lessons in fourth grade, and finally reading complex technical texts in high school (without checking social media mid-sentence).

This progression is far from a given, however, as any teacher trying to wrangle kindergarteners or fourth graders (or even high school students) can tell you. It takes time, support, and plenty of chances for the child to practice along the way.

You can start small by doing a focused activity with your child for only as long as it engages them. This may mean choosing a naturally short activity. You might read a simple board book or other very short story to your child, color together for just a few minutes, or tackle a simple puzzle. 

With an older child, pick something that engages them and try to find a natural stopping point that will match their current ability to focus. Aim to rack up some successes, and then gently stretch the length of time you do these activities or introduce other activities—but scale back if your child doesn’t react well. The goal is successful, positive experiences, so increasing slowly is fine.

Tip: Simpler, slower-paced books, games, and activities may be especially helpful for stretching your child’s attention and focus. An easy way to find slower-paced options is to explore older children’s books and activities (think Cat’s Cradle, knitting, building houses of cards, or jumping rope). Exposing your child to thoughtfully selected books and pastimes from a time when life moved at a more leisurely speed may increase their tolerance for slower-moving, less stimulating activities down the line—like reading a dry, complex textbook.

Pay Attention to Your Child

It can take time and—yes—adult attention to help kids develop their own attention. 

For example, taking your child to story time at the library may not cut it if you can’t focus on them while there. If you’re answering emails while they wander around, it’s unlikely to do much good. In contrast, if you hold them while the librarian reads, and then gently take them out of the room when they’ve had enough, you’re supporting their developing focus at the rate that’s right for them.

In short, if you want your child to develop their attention, give them yours in focused stretches of time. Find your moment: a time when both you and your child are not too tired, hungry, emotional, or overstimulated. Then put your own distractions aside (silence that phone or, better yet, put it in another room) and engage in a calm, non-screen activity together. (See the Family Activities section of this site for some ideas.)

If you’re thinking you won’t find that perfect moment to engage your child—when neither of you is too tired, hungry, emotional, or overstimulated—before your baby is 18 or so, I get it! Remember that all it takes to get back to a pre-smartphone attention span is for you and your child to focus on something together for two and a half minutes. That’s not so hard, is it?

Focus on Enjoyment

Start with something your child enjoys: Find focused activities that engage them and do those together. Try different things and be prepared to get creative if your child doesn’t respond well to certain activities. 

Reading aloud is a wonderful focused activity that’s often most successful when you find books your child enjoys or even let them choose the books themselves. If your child is restless, they may enjoy listening if you let them wiggle or color while you read aloud.

Other kids may do better with other kinds of focused activities at first, like coloring, playing with blocks or cars together, or tackling some type of puzzle. Keep in mind that there are many types of puzzles that may draw in different kids: toddler peg puzzles, jigsaw puzzles, paper-based puzzles like mazes or word searches, and physical puzzles like stacking games or spatial-logic challenges. (My kids loved physical puzzles like this castle-configuring challenge game.)

Still other kids who won’t sit still for books or puzzles may show serious concentration on a more physical task—say, digging a hole and building a canal together at the beach. Seek out ways to help your child settle into a flow state on any analog activity, and build from there. 

Whatever activities work for you and your little one, only keep at them as long as your child is engaged, and try to end on a high note.

Take Breaks for Free Play 

Taking breaks can actually support focus, when it’s done right—i.e., not mid-sentence and probably not every 47 seconds. Pausing focused activities at natural breaks, like the end of a chapter or subtask, is key.

As you grow your child’s attention span, be sure to allow natural breaks for movement and attention switching. Experienced librarians break up preschool story times with songs, games, and chances to jump, wiggle, or dance, for example.

You can do the same at home with your child. When reading to your child or working on some kind of focused activity, notice when they’re getting antsy. Then find a natural stopping point and switch to something else.

Build plenty of chances for self-directed free play into your child’s schedule to support focus and attention at other times. We adults often need time to do our own thing after being “on” all day at work—there’s no reason to think our kids don’t feel the same. (See this post on habits that support a strong attention span for research-based tips.)

Model Focus

Multitasking may be the necessary fuel of modern parenting, but it’s the enemy of focused attention. Our always-on world with its endless notifications, devices, and demands on our time certainly encourages trying to multitask. But if you can model sticking with one thing for meaningful stretches of time when interacting with your child, you may help them do the same.

When you do have to multitask, still try to pause and give some focused attention to your child and your shared activities. 

Imagine this scenario: A parent is cooking dinner, helping an older child with homework, and supervising a little one who wants to play. When the younger child asks for something, the parent can’t just drop everything else. What they can do is pause, look the child in the eye, and take a moment to answer thoughtfully—even if the answer is a commitment to address the request more fully later.

Adapt to Your Child

It bears repeating that every child is different. It may sound obvious, but when we’re in the thick of parenting it’s hard not to compare our kids to other children—or even to our imperfect memories of ourselves at a similar age. This can be useful up to a point, but it’s harmful if it stops us from parenting the child we actually have at the stage they’re at, and helping them stretch gently from there.

Some kids have enormous energy and can’t seem to sit still. They may just need a whole lot more physical activity than others. Some kids are incredibly curious and mentally quick, hopping from topic to topic at lightning speed and moving on from things the second they’re bored. They may need more challenging tasks or ones that interest them more. If you have a future athlete, adventure-sports enthusiast, or social butterfly/politician on your hands, don’t stress—just seek ways to help them be the best and most focused version of themselves.

The bottom line: Don’t waste time on what might work for a different child. Figure out what helps your child and go from there.

It’s like starting a strength-training program: If lifting five pounds challenges your muscles, you start there, then add weight when you can. If your child can listen to a five-minute story or sit still with a puzzle for three minutes, start there, then slowly try to draw them in for longer stretches.

Read also: Why Your Child’s Attention Span Matters (and 4 Everyday Habits That Support It)