Every day, in a hundred small ways, our children ask, “Do you hear me? Do you see me? Do I matter?
L.R. Knost
For most of my life, I’ve held the strong opinion that people talk too much. Among the documents I found when thumbing through files of my old assignments from my twelve years as an Akron Public Schools student in Ohio is an ode to succinctness that I wrote for an English class. In the poem, I call on people to “get to the point,” “keep things simple,” and—presumably for the sake of the rhyme—to avoid “dangling participles.” As an adult, I live for days when I don’t take calls or meetings and spend a full day reveling in silence.
So, imagine my surprise as a quiet-craving parent to discover that all the “let them catch you reading” stuff I’d seen on blogs and in parenting magazines was not critical for raising a reader, but making lots of conversation with babies and toddlers was. If leading reading by example alone isn’t a thing, I learned, parents had best use our voices to proactively bring kids’ attention to print and to build the oral vocabulary they need to make sense of words on the page.
I’m not the only parent who missed the memo about sparking meaningful conversations with kids, beginning in infancy. Studies of kids’ early-language environments show enormous differences in both the quantity and quality of talk that kids engage in with their families. Parent talkativeness varies for all kinds of reasons, from our personalities, stress levels, and time demands to our beliefs about what babies understand and cultural norms about kids’ proper role in conversation with adults.
All of this matters because young children tend to follow their parents’ lead when it comes to how much they talk as they grow older. LENA, a national nonprofit that offers early-talk technology and data-driven early-language programs, compared the average daily vocalizations for kids who had parents with an Adult Word Count (AWC) in the highest versus lowest 20th percentile.
As you can see in the following graph of kids’ average daily vocalizations below from the LENA’s Natural Language Study, talkative parents tend to have talkative little ones and taciturn parents (caregivers who say little) have taciturn kids. And those differences in early language environments and early oral-language skills can have dramatic consequences for kids’ reading and learning outcomes years later.
This is the best illustration I’ve seen of the need for parents to say more to inspire kids to do the same. That is why I recommend working to build strong conversational rituals and routines into your family life as a key step to fuel your baby’s brain development and prepare them for reading. Experiment with different approaches to discover the ones that make you most able and motivated to converse more with the kids in your life.
And to the extroverts out there, you’re not off the hook. You should take heed as well, because parents of all stripes, from brusque to verbose, tend to overestimate how much we talk with our kids—and talking at kids isn’t the same as talking with them.
Edited and reprinted with permission from Reading for Our Lives by Maya Payne Smart, published by AVERY, an imprint of Penguin Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House, LLC.
Copyright © 2022 by Maya Payne Smart.
Get Reading for Our Lives: A Literacy Action Plan from Birth to Six
Learn how to foster your child’s pre-reading and reading skills easily, affordably, and playfully in the time you’re already spending together.
Get Reading for Our Lives
Books help shape how children see themselves and the world, so exposing them to books by strong role models is powerful. Introducing young children to books by fantastic black women authors is a way to expand their world and nurture their love of reading while opening them up to their own potential.
For young black girls, seeing themselves reflected in stories can build confidence, affirm their identity, and show them what’s possible. And for all children, these authors bring rich storytelling with compelling characters and messages to inspire the next generation. Whether you’re looking for books about everyday joy, resilience, or history, these must-read black female authors have stories your family will love.
Oge Mora is a fantastic author-illustrator known for her vibrant, collage-style artwork and heartfelt narratives. She won a Caldecott Honor and Ezra Jack Keats award for her debut picture book, Thank You, Omu!, which celebrates generosity and community. In addition to writing, she also illustrates books for other authors, including Everybody in the Red Brick Building, The Oldest Student: How Mary Walker Learned to Read, and Shaking Things Up: 14 Young Women Who Changed the World.
Andrea Davis Pinkney is a prolific author known for her powerful storytelling that highlights black history, culture, and resilience. From board books to chapter books, her work dazzles young readers with lyrical prose and rich narratives. She often collaborates with her husband, illustrator Brian Pinkney, creating stunning books like Sit-In and Martin Rising. With award-winning fiction and nonfiction, she brings history to life while celebrating black joy and excellence. Parents seeking inspiring black female authors will find her books must-reads.
JaNay Brown-Wood is a children’s author, educator, and literacy advocate known for her joyful, engaging stories that showcase black families, nature, and community. Her popular Where in the Garden? series introduces young readers to fruits, vegetables, and problem-solving, through Amara’s Farm, Miguel’s Community Garden, Logan’s Greenhouse, and Linh’s Rooftop Garden. Her award-winning Imani’s Moon showcases themes of perseverance and dreams. With rhythmic language and warm storytelling, her books are perfect for parents seeking stories that reflect and uplift diverse childhood experiences.
Faith Ringgold was an award-winning artist, author, and activist famous for her stunning story quilts and children’s books that elevate black history, identity, and resilience. Her iconic book Tar Beach won a Caldecott Honor and a Coretta Scott King Award, blending personal and historical themes with rich artwork. She also wrote We Came to America, a tribute to the diverse cultures that shape the United States. Her work continues to inspire young readers with its wonderful writing and artistry. You can also continue your learning and appreciation of Ringgold’s work by visiting exhibits of her quilt artwork in person or online.
Sharee Miller is a children’s book author best known for her joyful stories celebrating black hair, self-love, and identity. Her popular picture books, including Don’t Touch My Hair! and Princess Hair, empower young readers with affirming messages and bright, playful illustrations that will draw kids into the story. In addition to being a writer, she also illustrated the book Michelle’s Garden, about Michelle Obama’s White House garden. Parents looking for confidence-boosting stories will love her books!
Zora Neale Hurston is an author most commonly known for her adult works, in particular the incredible Their Eyes Were Watching God. But Hurston also spent much of her life as a folklorist in Florida, collecting stories across the southern United States, Jamaica, Haiti, and the West Indies. In fact, she was granted a Guggenheim Fellowship twice to do this work! In the past five years, with a renewed interest in Hurston’s legacy, authors like Christopher Meyers and Ibram X. Kendi have been adapting and republishing these folktales into resplendent picture books. Be sure to check out The Making of Butterflies and (my personal favorite) Magnolia Flower.
Vashti Harrison is deservedly acclaimed for her beautifully crafted children’s books. Her Little Leaders series, including Little Leaders: Bold Women in Black History, introduces young readers to inspiring figures with engaging prose and lovely, detailed illustrations. She has also illustrated books like Hair Love by Matthew A. Cherry and authored Big, a Coretta Scott King Honor book.
Vera Ahiyya is known as The Tutu Teacher. But in addition to being a teacher she is also a children’s book author and advocate for inclusive classrooms. Her picture books, including You Have a Voice and Rebellious Read Alouds, inspire young readers to embrace kindness and activism. She also writes books that help children transition into school, like KINDergarten and Getting Ready for Preschool!, which offer encouragement and reassurance for first-time students. Her Instagram page (@thetututeacher) is also a fantastic resource for books on any subject or theme.
Vanessa Brantley-Newton’s stories, including Just Like Me, Grandma’s Purse, and Becoming Vanessa, celebrate self-esteem, confidence, and family bonds. Yet another multi-talented author/illustrator on our list, you can also find her art in award-winning books like The King of Kindergarten. With vibrant, expressive illustrations, her books spark giggles and excitement, making every page a delight for young readers. Her charming, affirming poems encourage children to embrace their uniqueness.
Award-winning author Nikki Grimes writes everything from picture books to novels in verse, including Bedtime for Sweet Creatures, Thanks a Million, and the Coretta Scott King Honor book Bronx Masquerade, a young adult book. Her work often highlights resilience, creativity, and the power of words. With rhythmic language and vivid imagery, her books draw young readers in and keep them glued to the page. Her stories offer a mix of warmth, honesty, and inspiration for children of all ages.
Amanda Gorman, the youngest inaugural poet in U.S. history, brings her powerful voice to children’s literature through beautifully crafted picture books. Change Sings: A Children’s Anthem and Something, Someday use lyrical language and strong messages to inspire young readers to make a difference in their communities. Her books encourage children to see themselves as changemakers, capable of kindness and action. With rhythmic storytelling and hopeful themes, her work introduces big ideas in a way that feels accessible and empowering for young minds.
The nation’s report card is in for 2024, and the results aren’t pretty. The National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP) shows that far too many U.S. students are struggling with reading—and that on average, student learning has not bounced back since Covid.
If you’re a parent, it’s worth understanding these scores and what they do—and don’t—tell you. Specifically: What do these numbers actually mean? How do they affect your child? And what can we all do about them?
Here are five things you need to know about the 2024 U.S. reading scores. At the end, I’ll share three action steps all parents should take now.
1. The NAEP Test Offers a National Snapshot of Reading Achievement
The NAEP scores are often called “The Nation’s Report Card.” The assessment is a federally administered test that measures reading and math skills among U.S. students every two years. It’s not a high-stakes test—individual student scores aren’t reported, and participation is voluntary. But it provides critical insights into overall student performance across the country.
The 2024 results are alarming:
- National reading scores remain below pre-pandemic levels across all tested grades.
- Fourth- and eighth-grade scores dropped by two points from 2022.
- Less than a third of students nationwide can read grade-level texts with understanding.
- One-third of eighth graders scored “below basic” on reading skills—the greatest percentage to date. This means they struggle to identify main ideas or sequence events in a passage—skills critical for high school success.
NAEP scores fall into four categories:
- Below Basic: Struggling to recognize words, comprehend simple texts.
- Basic: Can read simple texts but struggle with deeper comprehension.
- Proficient: Can read and understand grade-level materials.
- Advanced: Highly skilled readers with strong comprehension and analysis.
The fact that so many students fall into the “below basic” category is a national crisis.
2. If Your Child Is Selected to Take NAEP, It Matters
The testers randomly assign students to take the NAEP test. The goal is to test a small, nationally representative group of students. Participation is voluntary, but the accuracy of the results depends on enough students participating.
No one will see your child’s individual test results or questionnaire responses—not you, your child, or their teacher. But they still matter, a lot. The results provide insight into how students in your district and state compare nationally. They also inform educational policy and resource allocation at the state and national levels.
But, keep in mind: NAEP scores don’t just reflect what happens at your child’s school and other local schools. Many external factors also play a role. Things like parents’ education levels, reading and literacy practices at home, outside tutoring, and the experiences kids have that build their vocabularies all affect reading performance, not just classroom instruction.
3. NAEP Is the Only Apples-to-Apples Comparison Across States
Each state sets its own standards for what qualifies as “proficient” on state reading tests, which means results vary widely. NAEP provides the only national benchmark.
For example:
- In Wisconsin, recent state tests showed 51% of fourth graders were proficient in reading.
- But NAEP told a different story. Only about 30% were deemed proficient by that nationally standardized measure.
This discrepancy happens because there are significant variations in the content of state assessments. States can set the bar as low or high as they want. As a parent, it’s important to look at all the data that’s available to you to really understand where your state, and more importantly, your child stand.
Want to see NAEP results for your state? Visit nces.ed.gov/nationsreportcard/ to see results, sample test questions, and more.
4. Covid Learning Loss Lingers—But Gaps Were Widening Before
The 2024 NAEP results confirm what many educators feared: Learning hasn’t recovered from school and home disruptions during the pandemic.
The biggest declines were among the lowest-performing students—those who were already struggling before Covid-19 hit.
At the same time, many higher-performing students have shown improvement relative to students tested in past years. The top 25% of eighth graders tested in 2024 actually scored higher than the top 25% of eighth graders tested previously.
The result? The reading gap is growing. In 2024, the difference in reading between the lowest- and highest-performing students widened to 100 points on NAEP’s 500-point scale. This reading skill gap has been increasing for over a decade.
This is sometimes called the Matthew Effect: The (literacy) rich get richer, and the (literacy) poor get poorer.
5. Demographics Aren’t Destiny—But Support Matters
NAEP scores show disparities by race and income level—but they don’t prove that certain students are doomed to struggle.
Instead, they highlight opportunities for action. These gaps signal a lack of early literacy support and systemic interventions long before children start school.
Kids from lower-income backgrounds often have fewer books at home, less exposure to rich vocabulary in their daily lives, and less access to high-quality early education. All of this contributes to the gap, but they aren’t inevitable. And all of it can be changed for individual children, and—with collective action—for all children.
Too many kids are struggling to read—and the gap is widening.
But reading outcomes aren’t set in stone. With family literacy practices, early intervention, high-quality instruction, and strong literacy advocacy, we can change the story.
Your voice matters. Let’s push for the resources and policies all our children need to thrive.
What Should Parents Do?
- Look at your state’s NAEP results and compare them to state test scores.
- Advocate for better reading instruction. Demand robust teacher training in structured phonics instruction and vocabulary building as well as intensive, high-quality tutoring for struggling readers in your district if they aren’t available already.
- Support literacy at home—early and often. Daily reading, talking, and writing activities make a big difference. See my book Reading for Our Lives for practical tips.
Remember those rhymes you used to chant as a kid? How about clapping and dancing to the beat of childish tunes? Perhaps you made up your own songs, not caring how silly they sounded. If you can see yourself doing that through the lens of your (much) younger self, you can easily teach phonemic awareness to your child.
But first, what is phonemic awareness? Most simply, it means hearing sounds—down to the individual sounds that make up words. Going one step farther, it is the ability to discern and manipulate the sounds within words.
The name sounds like a complex learning concept that requires some type of certification to teach. And, indeed, many children with dyslexia and other challenges may need specialists to help them master it. But it’s also something that you can—and should—begin nurturing at home in order to develop a solid reading foundation for your child. You can easily kick-start your child’s phonemic awareness with the types of activities you enjoyed when you were small.
Why Phonemic Awareness Matters
Before matching letters to sounds (phonics!), your child needs to grasp the idea that words are made up of sounds. That’s where phonemic awareness comes in. By teaching your child how to identify sounds and sound patterns within words, you’re setting the stage for the main event, which is phonics instruction.
As a mature reader, you may no longer pay much attention to individual sounds within words, because you’re so used to hearing and using them. Not so for small children. They’re absorbing these patterns by listening to people talk—and talking themselves—every day.
To accelerate this learning, you can use body movements, voice, and a few props to help your child become more aware of sound patterns and how frequently the same ones show up again and again in our spoken (and, as they’ll eventually see, written) language.
Once your child develops the ability to tell one sound from another, learning to read becomes much easier. Phonetically “decoding,” or sounding out, written words is a logical next step when your child can already break words down into sounds.
5 Easy, Fun Phonemic Awareness Activities
Convinced that phonemic awareness is central to learning to read? The following 5 phonemic awareness activities will get you started. Once you realize how easy it is to play with sounds, you’ll have no trouble coming up with new games on your own. And be sure to revisit those ditties you recited as a child! They’re full of rhymes, repetition, and recognizable sound patterns—fun for your child and fun for you.
Start by choosing a “sound of the day” and write the letter(s) that represent it somewhere handy to reference throughout the day. Introduce the sound to your child and give some example words that start with it. Point out an object whose name starts with the sound.
- Ask your child to find items in the room whose names begin with the sound of the day. As you go through your day together, point out objects that begin with the sound, and ask your child to do the same. For example, if your sound is /b/, you could point out their bed during nap time, a banana at snack, and a button when they’re getting dressed.
- Invite your child to think of things that start with the sound, then draw pictures of them together. (You can have your child think of the object, then you draw it for them or let them help draw it if they’re ready.) This expands their thinking beyond what they can see in the immediate environment, helping them apply the sound to other situations. You can also head outside and use chalk to draw pictures of items that start with the target sound on the sidewalk, driveway, or playground blacktop.
- Create a scavenger hunt. Hide some objects that begin with the sound you’re working on. Create clues for your child, using the sound as many times as you can. Repeat the sound at the end of each clue. For example: “The blue ball is hiding where Baby Bobby sleeps. B-b-b-b.”
- Make up silly songs using the sound. Create a tune and sing with your child, emphasizing the letter sound. For example, “Baby Bobby has a blanket. Baby Bobby has a ball. Baby Bobby blows bubbles!”
- Invent goofy sentences or short stories that use as many words starting with the sound as possible. Invite your child to act out the words or make up a dance to go along with the story. Here are some phrases to get you started: Buzzing Bumble Bee, Silly Sister Sally, Running Round Rose, Goofy Galloping Gary, Merry-Making Melanie, Lazy Little Lizard, Darling Dancing Dog.
By using these simple, fun activities to help your child identify sounds and sound patterns in words, you’re setting your little reader up for a future filled with good books, confidence in school, and a mastery of the English language. You’re also demonstrating from an early age that your child can count on you to help them learn new things as they grow!
In a world where reading matters a whole lot, yet distractions abound as never before, it’s easy to worry about our kids’ reading. Are they reading at grade level? Are they spending enough time reading? Are they reading challenging enough material?
It’s crucial to support kids to become thriving readers in the first place and then to keep reading as they get older. After all, reading helps kids of any age build vocabulary, comprehension, knowledge, empathy, and self-expression—all of which is just as important after they become fluent independent readers.
But as we encourage our kids to read, It’s easy to wonder: What actually counts as worthwhile reading?
Maybe your child devours graphic novels but avoids chapter books. Maybe they listen to audiobooks nonstop but resist sitting down to read. Or maybe your elementary schooler “reads” signs with enthusiasm but seems uninterested in tackling actual books. Even if your child reads a ton on a Kindle or phone, you may wonder if it’s quite the same as cracking open a real book.
So, do these activities count as reading? The short answer is yes—at least up to a point. Each helps your child develop vocabulary, understanding, or phonics skills. The broadest possible experience with stories, language, and printed text is ideal for developing a well-rounded reader (and person), so you don’t want them to get stuck, but all these activities can help your child grow.
Now, let’s dig into the longer answer about how children become strong, motivated readers.
What Reading Really Is (and What It Isn’t)
We often think of reading as a narrow activity: sitting still, silently “decoding” words on a page—what we commonly call “sounding out.” But reading is really about making meaning from language. That includes understanding words, following ideas, building mental pictures, and connecting what’s read to the world.
Decoding printed words matters a lot, of course—but it’s only one piece of literacy. Comprehension, vocabulary, background knowledge, and motivation all matter enormously, too. And those grow in many different ways, across many different formats. Similarly, decoding skills can develop in many ways, and sometimes bite-sized bits of text can support phonics learning even better than a book.
When we limit “real reading” to one narrow version of it, we risk discouraging the very habits that help kids grow into skilled lifelong readers.
Comics and Graphic Novels Count (Yes, Really)
Graphic novels are sometimes dismissed as “easy,” but they ask readers to do sophisticated work. Kids must track plot, infer meaning from facial expressions and visual cues, and integrate text with images to understand the story.
That’s real reading. And for many kids, comics are what make reading feel fun, doable, and worth returning to. They build stamina, confidence, and a sense of identity as a reader—things that matter far more than the format.
If you’re concerned about your child continuing to grow and build their reading level over time (a valid concern), ask a teacher or librarian about graphic novels that can challenge them and introduce them to more advanced vocabulary or concepts. Also collect suggestions for “regular” chapter books with similar action or style to their favorite comics. Support and encourage their love of reading graphic novels, then gently stretch them.
Audiobooks Are Reading—Up to a Point
Audiobooks are often a format parents feel especially unsure about, and with good reason: If kids aren’t looking at words, is it still reading? Listening to an audio story obviously doesn’t build decoding skills or spelling knowledge—unless the child is reading along in a physical book, which can be a great option for picture books.
However, listening to stories can build vocabulary, comprehension, narrative understanding, content knowledge, attention, and love of stories. These are all tremendously valuable throughout the school years and beyond. In fact, for many children, audiobooks allow them to access stories that are more complex and interesting than what they can decode independently.
Audiobooks can be especially powerful for reluctant readers, kids who fatigue easily, or children whose listening comprehension outpaces their decoding skills. Don’t see them as a shortcut, but rather a bridge. For older kids, they can be a way to tackle challenging material, slower-paced works, or less-gripping nonfiction while working out, taking a walk, or engaging in an art project.
Similarly, oral storytelling reinforces the same skills and offers powerful opportunities for bonding and passing on cultural or familial stories, so don’t hesitate to share tales around a campfire or snuggled up at bedtime. This, too, builds your little reader’s brain and enriches their future.
E-Books Are Fantastic (But Don’t Make Them the Whole Story)
It’s more clear to most of us that e-books count as reading—even if we may yearn to see our kids curled up with a physical book rather than lit by the glow of a screen.
After all, when children read digital text on an e-reader, tablet, or phone, they’re still decoding words, building vocabulary, following narratives, and making meaning. For some kids, e-books offer real advantages: adjustable font sizes, built-in dictionaries, and easy access to a wide range of titles and abundant reading material on demand. Public libraries and lots of other services offer loads of popular titles to check out instantly as e-books, anytime, anywhere.
That said, there is something special about paper books. Physical books offer built-in boundaries that support focus. There are no messages or notifications that pop up, fewer taps that lead somewhere else, and clearer visual cues about where you are in a story.
Turning pages, feeling the weight of a book, and seeing progress unfold may help children better understand story structure and stay immersed. Research also suggests that reading on paper can support deeper comprehension and better recollection later on—at least for complicated informational texts and nonfiction. For novels and light reading, the effect may be negligible.
The takeaway isn’t either/or. E-books can be a wonderful part of a child’s reading life—absolutely no guilt required. Just make some room for physical books too.
Picture Books Aren’t Just for Little Kids
Picture books often get shelved as “baby books,” but they frequently contain rich language, layered meaning, and big ideas. Books like Owl Moon, Going Down Home with Daddy, and the uber-popular Polar Express contain lyrical language that even grownups find moving, while lots of nonfiction picture books give detailed information on various subjects. (I learned a ton reading my kids Redwoods!) True-life tales like The Oldest Student: How Mary Walker Learned to Read and The Bravest Dog Ever: The True Story of Balto also teach kids a lot about history and the world.
Picture books can also offer an engaging, lower-stress way for kids to practice independent reading. Even if your child understands advanced chapter books when you or a teacher reads out loud, they may feel more comfortable tackling picture books as they start reading on their own—and that absolutely counts as reading.
Recipes, Instructions, and Everyday Reading Matter
When your child reads a recipe, the rules to a game, street signs, or the back of a cereal box, they’re practicing functional literacy—reading with a purpose. They’re learning sequencing, specialized vocabulary, and how written language operates in the real world. They’re figuring out how to sound out (or “decode”) words and absorbing valuable information about spelling.
Environmental print like menus, signs, labels, and maps also helps kids see that reading is useful, relevant, and necessary. That sense of purpose fuels motivation far more effectively than drills ever could.
The Big Picture
So what doesn’t count as reading?
This is usually the wrong question. Not all content is equally rich, and balance does matter—but policing formats tends to backfire. When kids feel judged or corrected for how or what they read, reading becomes a performance instead of a pleasure.
Keep an eye on your child’s reading, for sure, but instead of wondering if their reading counts, ask yourself: Is my child engaged? Are they making meaning from text? Are they growing in confidence? If the answer is yes, reading is happening.
Yes, variety matters—and so does choosing the format that best supports your child’s focus, enjoyment, and connection to reading. Celebrate all the reading your child engages in, and then watch for chances to gently encourage them to take on new challenges or formats, too.
The questions then become: What challenge does my child need next to grow? Or what will keep them reading at this new age or stage?
Strong readers aren’t created by restricting what counts. They’re created by wide exposure, curiosity, and positive experiences with language.
When children are allowed to read and enjoy stories broadly—listening, skimming, rereading, laughing, wondering—they build the skills and motivation that carry them forward.
If you’ve ever found yourself reciting Goodnight Moon or If You Give a Mouse a Cookie from memory—possibly while wondering if you’ll ever read another book again—you’re not alone. Many parents worry that their child’s insistence on the same story, night after night, means they’re stuck, bored, or missing out.
In reality, the opposite is usually true. Rereading kids’ books is one of the most powerful (and underrated) ways children build early literacy.
Why Kids Love (and Need) Rereading
Children crave repetition because it helps the world make sense. When a story is familiar, kids know what’s coming next. That predictability can be comforting, and it also frees up mental energy that lets them build deeper understanding.
The first time through a book, a child might simply track the general plot or absorb the pictures. The second or third time, they may start understanding harder words or noticing patterns in language, rhythm, and structure. Eventually, they anticipate phrases, join in with repeated lines, and delight in moments they know are coming. This isn’t boredom—it’s mastery.
Rereading books also offers emotional comfort. Familiar stories are safe stories. They help children regulate big feelings, wind down at the end of the day, and feel confident in a world where so much is new and unpredictable.
Kids Are Learning Every Time You Reopen a Book
Each reread strengthens key literacy skills—often without children (or parents) realizing it.
- Vocabulary and language patterns: Hearing the same words and sentence structures again and again helps kids absorb them naturally.
- Story structure: Rereading reinforces ideas like beginning, middle, and end; cause and effect; and character motivation. (Get tips for how to fortify this learning.)
- Fluency and confidence: When children “read along” or recite parts from memory, they’re practicing phrasing, expression, and pacing.
- Deeper comprehension: Familiarity allows kids to notice humor, emotion, and nuance they may have missed before.
In other words, the book that feels stale to you may still be doing important cognitive work for your child.
Rereading Looks Different at Different Ages
For toddlers, rereading picture books is often about language acquisition and connection. They may focus on one favorite page or phrase, asking for it again and again. That’s normal—and beneficial.
Preschoolers often start participating more actively. They finish sentences, ask questions, or point out details in the illustrations. Repetition helps them feel competent and in control. Be sure to pause to answer your child’s questions or help them understand and reflect. Your conversation about a book is actually one of the most powerful parts of shared reading.
Older children still benefit from rereading, too, even though it may look different. They might revisit favorite series, graphic novels, or audiobooks on their own.
While you still want to expose them to new books and gently encourage them to explore other material, don’t despair when they keep going back to their favorites. Each pass builds fluency and deepens understanding, while continuing to offer them a valuable emotional safe space and refuge from daily life.
How to Stay Engaged When Rereading Picture Books
It’s okay to be tired of reading the same book all the time—and you’re allowed to suggest different titles or set limits when you can’t take it anymore.
Just remember your child is getting something out of rereading the same favorites, so make sure you agree to their requests some of the time. To keep it fresher, try shifting how you read.
- Try using different voices or changing your pacing. Sometimes, reading in a goofy accent can feel a lot more fun. Just know that littles who are working on predictability and memorizing the story may not like variations, so be prepared to step back if changes upset your child. (Check out this article about different read-aloud styles.)
- Pause to wonder aloud: Why do you think she did that? How do you think he feels? How would you feel? Chats with your child and the chance to build your bond and get into your child’s head can make shared reading feel more rewarding for both of you.
- Invite your child to “read” the parts they know. You may be surprised by how much of a favorite title they can recite from memory. This is not only adorable—it can also give you a welcome break as you snuggle in and “listen” to them read (or let your mind wander, as the case may be).
- Ask them to retell the story or predict what comes next. This is another way to get a little break from reading while still engaging your child around their favorite book, and it’s great for fostering comprehension and language skills.
Small changes can keep the experience fresh for you while preserving the comfort your child loves.
When and How to Introduce New Books
Many parents worry that rereading means their child isn’t being exposed to enough variety. If you’d like to gently expand their reading world, try rotating books nearby without pressure.
Leave new titles within reach. Read them yourself. Often just providing an abundance of reading material or letting your child browse in a library or bookstore will get them interested in some new books. Let curiosity do the work.
Most kids eventually move on—often suddenly. And when they do, they bring with them the confidence and skills built through repetition.
The Big Picture
Rereading isn’t a rut. It’s practice. It’s how children build fluency, confidence, and a deep relationship with language.
So if your child asks for the same book again tonight, you can say yes—knowing that something meaningful is happening, even if you’ve already memorized every word.
As parents, we’re always trying to nurture good readers and good humans at the same time. Gratitude and literacy may seem like different pursuits—one rooted in the heart, the other in the mind—but they’re deeply connected. Both grow through daily practice, attentive listening, and the words we choose to share with our children.
Reading and writing can help kids name what they’re thankful for, express appreciation, and reflect on the people and moments that make their lives richer. Likewise, practicing gratitude helps children develop empathy and perspective—skills that make them more thoughtful readers and communicators.
Here are 10 simple, meaningful ways to build both thankfulness and literacy at once.
1. Read Stories of Generosity and Gratitude
Choose books that highlight giving, kindness, and appreciation—from Those Shoes by Maribeth Boelts to Thank You, Omu! by Oge Mora. As you read, pause to ask: “How did the character show gratitude?” or “How did someone’s kindness make a difference?” These small conversations help children connect language with feeling, building their self-expression abilities and social-emotional intelligence.
2. Start a Family Gratitude Journal
Keep a notebook where everyone records something they’re thankful for, then fill it in on a schedule that works for you—for example, at Thanksgiving and other holidays, every Friday or Sunday, or even daily. Younger kids can draw pictures or dictate their thoughts for you to write down. Over time, they’ll see how words capture moments and emotions—and that gratitude is a story worth telling again and again.
3. Write Thank-You Notes Together
After birthdays, holidays, or just-because moments when they receive a gift or kindness from someone, help kids write or illustrate thank-you cards. Model how to move beyond “thanks for the gift” by adding detail: “I loved the sparkly markers because I can use them to make cards for my friends.” Writing for a real audience makes literacy meaningful.
4. Tell Gratitude Stories at Bedtime
End the day by sharing one thankful thought aloud. You might say, “I’m grateful for our walk to the park,” then invite your child to share theirs. This sharing tradition strengthens vocabulary, listening skills, and family bonds as it builds a healthy mindset. It can also help kids settle emotionally, so they can sleep better. Of course, part of a healthy mindset is flexibility and responsibility, so don’t beat yourself up on nights you can’t make this happen or force it when your child isn’t feeling it. Just blend it into your wind-down when it feels right.
5. Share Gratitude for One Another
Create space to share something each family member appreciates about the other members of your household. This could be over family dinner, during Thanksgiving or holiday celebrations, at bedtime, or while writing in your family journal. Sharing your gratitude for one another fosters oral language and family connections, with benefits for the whole family, young and old.
6. Make a “Thankful Alphabet”
For a special Thanksgiving activity—or anytime you want to build your child’s gratitude— challenge your little one to think of something they’re thankful for from A to Z. For example, “A for apples,” “B for bedtime stories,” and so on. This fun word game builds alphabetic knowledge, vocabulary, and a grateful mindset all at once.
7. Reflect Through Art and Writing
Invite your child to draw or write about something that made them happy that week. Then, talk through their creation: “Tell me more about this part.” Linking art and storytelling helps children find words for feelings—and teaches them to slow down and savor good moments. It can also be a powerful way to help kids decompress and process feelings after a long week at school or daycare.
8. Read About Giving Back
Choose picture books that feature children making a difference in their communities or helping others, like I Am Somebody, written by Nyasha Williams and illustrated by Ashley Evans, or The Can Man, written by Laura E. Williams and illustrated by Craig Orback. After reading, brainstorm one small act of kindness your family can do. Then, write and draw about it afterward with your child—capturing not only what you did, but how it felt.
9. Celebrate Words of Thanks
Make a family word wall or poster of gratitude. Help your child add color and creativity to make it beautiful Thanksgiving decor. Include new words like “appreciate,” “thankful,” “generous,” and “gracious.” Define words your child doesn’t know and practice using them in sentences or stories. The more children see and say these words, the more naturally they’ll use them—and live them.
10. Have a Gratitude Word Hunt
Pick a common word like “thank,” “happy,” or “kind” and see how many times you can find it in books, magazines, or signs during the week. Make every sighting a small celebration and a chance to practice reading the word in context. This simple family game turns print awareness into a playful reminder that thankfulness is all around us—if we look for it.
Gratitude and literacy both begin with awareness—with noticing words, people, and moments worth cherishing. By weaving the two together in your family life, you’re helping your child become both a stronger reader and a more mindful human being.
Because when we give children the words to express thankfulness, we give them a lifelong language of joy.
We’ve all heard about how important it is to read to kids, and—while reading aloud isn’t the cure-all it’s sometimes made out to be—sharing books with your child is key to setting them on the path to thrive. That said, though, it takes two to tango. What if your child just isn’t having it?
The short answer to what you should do if your child resists books is the same as for any parenting challenge that’s too important to give up on: Get creative and keep trying.
That doesn’t mean to keep forcing something that’s turning into a battle; that just reinforces the negative reaction and can cause kids to dig in their heels. Instead, find new stories and especially new approaches. (You can always revisit other books and story styles later.)
How to Get Kids to Listen to Books
So, how can you get creative to keep (gently) pushing story time in new ways? Below are some ideas to get you started.
But first, a few warnings…
It’s crucial to look for books your child and you are likely to enjoy and to pick your moments. Bring patience, respond to their mood, and don’t push too hard or get angry. (There’s nothing like getting in trouble during an experience to make a child avoid it!)
When you do read, model enthusiasm and make sure your body language and voice convey enjoyment. If you seem to hate sharing books, your child isn’t liable to like it much either.
Read to Your Child in the Car
They’re strapped in and don’t have much else to do. On a longer drive, they may also be bored out of their wits. If that’s not a golden opportunity to offer your choice of distraction and entertainment, I’m not sure what is.
If your child has been getting to use devices in the car, though, you may need to wean them off those first. With young kids, a simple approach may work best, such as “forgetting” to bring a device. If the device gets lost, stops working, or has limited data, those are also easy outs.
Read to Your Sick Child
When your small child isn’t feeling well, they probably crave your attention and distraction from their discomfort. You can’t always drop everything to care for them every minute, but it’s a perfect chance to make a bit of time to read aloud. After all, if they’re asking for your time and they’re not up to doing much else, the opportunity is there to be seized.
If your sick child still resists books, try telling them, “This is what people do when kids are sick,” or “This is what people have always done when children are sick.” Often, statements as simple as that can do the trick with small kids.
Let Your Child Play During Read-Alouds
It is totally fine for a child to build with Legos or blocks, draw pictures, play with playdough or kinetic sand, or even jump and dance while you read. There’s no law saying they must sit still and look at the pictures. In fact, isn’t part of the beauty of listening to a book the fact that you can do something else at the same time?
It can be perfectly normal for kids to actually focus better when they’re moving their bodies or getting immersed in some sensory experience. Playing with slime or digging in sand can be very absorbing and help kids calm their bodies and minds, offering an opening to slip into their imaginations—or a book.
Tip: Don’t say it’s reading time and then try to set them up with an activity. Instead, get them going on something they enjoy and then calmly attempt a book.
Read to Your Child Outside
With active kids, it can also be a great fit to read out-of-doors in a fun location. Let them dig in the dirt, play with sand, feel the grass, watch the clouds, or collect fallen leaves as you read out loud to them.
If it’s a new or exciting location for them (or they don’t get outside much), be sure to let them explore more actively when you first arrive. Once their initial curiosity and energy are somewhat spent, you can attempt a book as they engage more calmly with the environment.
Leverage Peer Pressure
If your child has a friend, cousin, or sibling who enjoys listening to stories, attempt a book during a play date. When your little one sees their buddy enjoying the book, they may be more open to it.
You can also get a similar effect by taking your child to a story time at a library or book store.
Most libraries hold regular story times for different ages. Just be ready to head out with good humor and a positive attitude if your kiddo doesn’t sit as still or quietly as the librarian requires. Most librarians these days are fine with kids bouncing around a bit, but if your child is making noise or distracting other kids, it’s best to do something else and try another time.
Evoke the Ancestors
Family tradition and cultural heritage can be powerful for kids, who often love plugging into something bigger than themselves around holidays, family rituals, and other traditions. You can leverage this with a variety of activities, and reading is absolutely among them.
To do this, simply try sharing anything true that could build your child’s interest and desire to engage with story time. You could explain that Grandma used to read the same story to you, Daddy loved snuggling up with picture books when he was small, Grandpa hated reading as a boy because he hated sitting still—until his favorite teacher read a book about tigers…. etc.
Your set-up doesn’t even have to be about books. You could share that your family always told stories around a campfire or that your culture has a long tradition of storytelling and passing down tales from one generation to the next. If you can’t think of anything else, share (enthusiastically) that storytelling is so ancient that some people say it’s what makes us human.
Go Digital or Bring in Back-Up
If your child is steadfastly resistant to listening to you read aloud, even when you try various creative hacks, you may need to break the cycle before you can share books with them. Pulling in a relative or friend to read to your child could feel different enough to bypass the negative cycle they’re stuck in.
If not, you can also try to help them learn to love stories by putting on audiobooks or videos of books being read aloud. Just be mindful of not turning it into TV time with read-alouds that have lots of animated action on screen. A simple video showing the pages of the book and the person reading is ideal. If your child really only responds to “book” videos with animated action, find the simplest available and then slowly wean them down to actual read-aloud videos.
The Bottom Line
Now that you’ve gotten a few ideas, you may think of others that could work for your child. Look out for times your child is calmer or more receptive, then see if you can leverage those opportunities to sneak in a few moments of reading.
Pay attention to when, where, and what helps them focus. Maybe they’re more receptive in the morning or evening, in the car or bath, or during certain activities.
Ultimately, any number of approaches can work. All you need is to spark your child’s interest or capture their attention long enough to engage in a story for a few minutes. Just try to create a few positive experiences with story time that you can build on little by little.
The other day, it became clear to me that my 17-year-old doesn’t read his emails.
That is, he sees the notifications as emails come in, and he reads the subject lines for key points. He does his best to read the important messages. But he certainly doesn’t read them all.
He’s a senior in high school, and it’s vitally important for him to check regularly for emails from colleges with updates on his applications—as well as emails from teachers about assignments, from counselors about college and graduation to-dos, from school administrators about extracurriculars, and from countless others about scholarships, jobs, and other opportunities.
In other words, he can easily miss crucial information and drop balls if he doesn’t read all his emails. Feeling a little panicked, I suggested that we go through his email systematically together and respond to, archive, or delete each one.
He declined, despite being a gifted and hard-working student.
His reasoning was that he gets well over 100 emails a day, and has for years. He was a little rattled when I explained that his email will eventually run out of space—but not enough to be willing to dig into the mound of digital correspondence that’s been piling up on him, unbeknownst to me, for almost a decade.
When I mentioned this to my youngest, who’d just turned 12, she agreed that even at that age she’s getting a nearly unmanageable amount of email. She shared that she only learned how to access her school email account this year, in sixth grade, and immediately discovered she had emails from teachers going back to years earlier. The earliest messages, from when she was nine, were likely automated Google classroom messages, but what nine-year-old can distinguish the spam (or spam-adjacent) from the rest?
Once she realized, my daughter said, she started spending 45 minutes a day deleting emails, so they wouldn’t pile up. I repeat—my sixth grader was spending 45 minutes a day on screens just to delete emails. Not doing homework. Not reading books. Not spending time outside, socializing, playing sports, or doing chores. Just going through emails that include copious alerts from various platforms her educators have used, interspersed with a handful of meaningful communications. The opportunity costs are huge, and they’ll only increase as she gets older.
All this got me thinking about the digital overload on kids and teens. It’s massive, and it reveals an important contradiction in how we adults are interacting with young people. We want tweens and teens to spend less time on screens—but then we expect them to do most of their schoolwork and studying on screens, complete driver’s ed and digital trainings on screens, and read and process hundreds of long emails every week.
If we as a society really care about the intense harms that come from too much time on technology and too little time in nature and society (harms experts suspect are drowning young people in depression and anxiety as never before), it’s time to walk the walk.
As parents, we can advocate for more reasonable limits and policies from schools and technology companies. We can also help our kids learn to manage email overload. Unsubscribing from newsletters, setting up automatic filters, and organizing their inboxes can help them get a handle on their email before it gets the better of them.
It can’t all be up to our kids, though. Caring adults also need to push for reasonable limits. When teachers want to use a digital platform to teach, assess, or assign work to their students, we shouldn’t automatically allow those companies to email our kids day and night. The fact that there are digital textbooks or e-books available doesn’t always mean they’re the best option.
And just because it’s easy to blast out emails to youngsters about everything under the sun, it doesn’t mean we should. A couple of weeks after our conversation, my daughter told me her school district was turning off student email because there was so much spam. That may be the nuclear option, but it reminds us that there’s a choice and policies can always change.
Parents got a taste of the educational digital overload during Covid, when so many of us across America floundered under constant emails that our children were missing impossible numbers of Google classroom assignments.
If we want to reduce the digital overload on kids, we can ask educational technology companies to protect kids with reasonable limits (including stopping the barrage of unnecessary emails and notifications) and we can ask our kids’ schools to set reasonable policies, too. Obviously, some technology-based learning can be a good thing and some email communications are necessary and helpful. The rest can be communicated as it was for generations—face to face.
Get Reading for Our Lives: The Urgency of Early Literacy and the Action Plan to Help Your Child
Learn how to foster your child’s pre-reading and reading skills easily, affordably, and playfully in the time you’re already spending together.
Get Reading for Our Lives
Providing plenty of diverse, varied books is key to helping kids learn to love reading. From babyhood onwards, right up through the teen years, it’s important to regularly put a selection of age-appropriate, engaging, good books in front of our children.
Browsing bookstores for gorgeous new reads is one way to do that, of course—and it’s also a pleasure that’s worth indulging in and helping our kids learn to enjoy. (You can also support independent bookstores when ordering books online.) But providing a rotating selection of good books to kids year after year (after year!) doesn’t have to cost a fortune.
Supplement new titles with affordable used books and library books to keep your child swimming in learning opportunities and book love on the cheap. Here are five ways to get free or cheap kids’ books, so you can fill your child’s shelves and imagination with wonderful stories.
Used Bookstores, Thrift Shops, & Garage Sales
Used bookstores are lots of fun for finding new reads while also introducing your child to the joys of browsing. If you want specific titles, online marketplaces of used books can be your best bet. I’ve acquired great second-hand reads, including all the titles in countless children’s series, from sites like Thriftbooks or Better World Books.
Those aren’t where you’re going to find the best deals on kids’ books, though. For that, try hitting up your local thrift stores or even multi-family garage sales at preschools, churches, and other family-oriented organizations.
You’ll likely find a variety of kids’ books on sale for pennies. (Although, with the penny discontinued, should I say… for nickels?)
Little Free Libraries
Have you seen these small, house-shaped wooden boxes on posts? People build Little Free Libraries in front of their homes to facilitate neighborhood book-sharing. It’s a place to leave books you’re done with and pick up new reads.
Take your child along to browse little libraries for titles they’d enjoy. Bring along a book or two to donate if possible (books for any age are fine), but don’t worry if you don’t have one to give away at the moment. You don’t need to leave a book every time you take one—or take a book every time you leave one. Just encourage your child to contribute at some point.
The Little Free Library website has an online map of Little Free Libraries, so you can look for options in your neighborhood or near your child’s school or activities.
Neighbors
Families whose kids have gotten older often have abundant children’s books to give away, and even families with kids the same age as yours may have a lot of book turnover, especially once kids are reading chapter books.
If you try asking around nicely, you’re likely to get many offers of all types of hand-me-downs, from almost-new hardcovers to read-half-to-death favorites. You can also suggest setting up book swaps with families that have same-age readers.
The hardest part is just getting in touch with other parents who have books to share, especially those with older kids. If your child’s school or daycare has an email list or online group for parents or alumni parents, try that. You can also post on neighborhood social media or community message groups. Local Buy Nothing or give-away online communities are also great places to request or find kid’s books, especially if you’re open to a variety of titles.
Schools
Ask your child’s school or school district staff or teachers if they know where you can get free kids’ books or cheap books. Many school districts or communities have collections of used books available for free to teachers, families in need, or even the general public. Schools also periodically discard kids’ books.
Some schools also have book corners with free reads that children can help themselves to, while others hold book swaps where families can give away old titles and pick up new ones. If your school doesn’t have one of these programs, consider starting one yourself!
Library Sales
Obviously, public libraries are a fabulous source for loaner books of all kinds, including e-books and audiobooks*—but they can also be a great place to acquire “forever” books to stock your own home library. (At least, “forever” until you pass them along as your child grows and reads their way to new levels and stages!)
Many public libraries regularly hold book sales of titles they’re discarding or donated books they can’t use. Some even have a permanent display of used books for sale. The books are usually very affordable and the proceeds support the library. When in doubt, ask your library if they ever have used children’s books available for sale.
Librarians can also be great sources of all kinds of community information, including where to get new or used children’s books for free or cheap. Local children’s librarians often know about nonprofits or other groups that give out books and can connect families with many other great resources.
Many libraries also give away brand-new children’s books during summer reading and other programs, too.
*P.S. If you don’t know how to check out digital library books from home, look into it. Some common apps that libraries use include Libby and Hoopla, and many libraries use more than one service, so if a title isn’t available in one, you can just check another.
Have fun seeking out great kids’ books and growing your child’s home library, book love, imagination … and future.