Development from 4 to 5 Years
Little ones at this point typically can introduce themselves with first name and last, sing a song or nursery rhyme by heart, and tell a story of their own. Ideally, 4-year-olds are also well aware of cause and effect and have developed a good bit of sophistication around language and books. They begin comparing and contrasting favorite characters in different books. They come to see books as sources for answers to questions about the world, like what are clouds? and why does it rain?
It’s time to build some print awareness by talking to your child about how books work, how print conveys meaning, and what words look like. These are vital lessons, because before a child can read print, they must notice it.
Sprinkle in a few comments (max) before or during reading that direct your child’s attention to how books are organized and how print mirrors spoken language. Use your finger to point to letters and words, which helps them connect the marks on the page with the speech they hear and understand.
Select 4-to-5-Year Milestones & Targets
Oral Language
- Uses four-word sentences, like Look at the dog.
- Uses thousands of words and carries on conversations
- Asks wh- questions: why, where, what, when, who
- Answers why, how, and would you questions
- Refers to quantities
- Uses conjunctions, like when, so, if, because
Speech-Sound Awareness
- Recognizes sounds that match and words that begin or end with the same sounds
- Recognizes and produces rhyming words
- Distinguishes, blends, and segments separate syllables in spoken words
- Recognizes single sounds and combinations of sounds
Print Awareness
- Understands that print carries meaning
- Knows print is used for many purposes
Alphabetic Knowledge
- Distinguishes letters from other symbols
- Identifies their own name in print
- Names 15 to 26 upper- and lowercase letters
- Identifies similarities and differences among letters
Emergent Writing
- Forms letters
- Writes their own name
Book Behavior
- Listens to longer stories
- Retells familiar stories
- Understands cause and effect
Development from 5 to 7 Years
By 6 years old, kids typically speak clearly, tell stories with complete sentences, use the future tense, and say their own full name and address. They can count past ten, draw a person with several body parts, and copy triangles and other shapes. They also know a good deal about everyday life, from food to money.
But real differences in their literacy skills become obvious (to them and us) at this point, too. Elementary school classrooms often put reading and writing on display in ways that can’t help but highlight student variations. Everything from the reading group they’re placed in to the work displayed on the bulletin board exposes the differences.
It can be agonizing for parents to hear about the social drama playing out in the name of education—tales of one child being put “on the computer” because they can’t read, another
checking out the same baby book from the classroom library every day because that’s what’s on “their level,” and yet another signing their name with a scribble that’s different every time.
Yet all these kids are on their own unique paths to reading. We just need to clearly identify where they are, so that we can deliver the right experiences, instruction, and additional tools to keep them forging ahead. A few quick definitions, based on what science reveals about how beginners learn to read words in and out of context, will help.
- Prereaders rely on visuals alone to make sense of words. They may recognize a word within the context of a logo—say, Nike or Target—but they are unable to read those same words in plain type without the contextual clues of color or location. They do not yet use letter-sound cues to read or write.
- Beginning or emergent readers, sometimes called partial alphabetic readers, are beginning to apply what they know about letters and sounds to read and write. They demonstrate partial knowledge of how letters map to sounds but can’t yet decode unfamiliar words. They spell phonetically (duz for does, for example).
- Readers have full command of letter-sound correspondences, can decode unfamiliar words, and spell from memory. They’ve forged solid knowledge of the spellings, pronunciations, and meanings of many words through deep experience of hearing, saying, spelling, and understanding these.
Select 5-to-7-Year Milestones & Targets
Oral Language
- Retells stories in sequential order
- Talks about events
- Uses a range of adverbs and adjectives
- Asks and answers complex questions
- Gives directions
Speech-Sound Awareness
- Isolates, identifies, and categorizes individual speech sounds
- Blends individual speech sounds
- Segments individual speech sounds
- Deletes, adds, and substitutes individual speech sounds
Print Awareness
- Tracks print from left to right
Alphabetic Knowledge
- Recognizes an increasing number of upper- and lowercase letters
- Produces letter forms in writing or with materials like Play-Doh
- Matches uppercase and lowercase letters
Emergent Writing
- Writes full name
- Organizes writing from left to right
Phonics/Spelling
- Connects letters to their sounds
- Sounds out words
- Spells phonetically
- Reads and writes simple sentences
- Correctly spells frequently used words
Book Behavior
- Reads independently
Edited and reprinted with permission from Reading for Our Lives by Maya Payne Smart, published by AVERY, an imprint of Penguin Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House, LLC.
Copyright © 2022 by Maya Payne Smart.
Get Reading for Our Lives: A Literacy Action Plan from Birth to Six
Learn how to foster your child’s pre-reading and reading skills easily, affordably, and playfully in the time you’re already spending together.
Get Reading for Our Lives
Development from 12 to 24 Months
Kiddos in this age range aren’t babies but haven’t fully grown into the mobility, speech, and expression we often associate with toddlers yet, either. Susie Allison, creator of the popular Busy-Toddler Instagram account, proposes taby (to rhyme with baby) as the name for this group that has “all of the ideas of a toddler but none of the motor skills to make it happen.”
Indeed, these kiddos are stacking blocks, pouring sand and water, nesting cups, and hustling to combine a lot of different skills. Meantime, they’re grasping for the words they need to express themselves, too. One year in and children are beginning to speak: mama, dada, uh-oh, and the like. After 18 months, kids are often talking like crazy and learning several new words a day, so their spoken vocabulary usually takes off.
By 24 months, kids’ vocabularies typically have doubled in size, and most will begin pairing words to create two-word phrases and sentences, such as want ball and car go. The average 24-month-old hasn’t mastered all the prepositions and “glue” words, but they are communicating with clarity and directness. They can point to the pictures and objects you say or that they see in a book. They can name people close to them and some body parts.
Whatever their vocabulary size, keep treating and responding to any speechlike (non-cry, non-digestive) sounds coming from your child as genuine talk. When you respond within five seconds, there’s strong evidence that those “conversational turns” may help bolster your little one’s brain structure and brain function now, as well as their language skills and IQ scores down the road.
Gestures come into play in a bigger way now, too. One-year-olds are already doing some pretty sophisticated coordination of their sounds, gestures, and eye gaze to get your attention. Kids in this age range also shake their heads yes and no and use their arms to signal pick me up or hand me that.
Your little one may even start following your directions to pick up toys or point to an object they want. You can name things in books and ask them to point at them. They may make sense of longer questions from you: Where are Daddy’s keys? They’ll also start asking parents a lot of questions, too: What’s that?
All this early speech and vocabulary learning is critical for later reading, because for an emergent reader to make sense of a word in print, they need to have heard it before. (Or, usually, many times before.)
Selecting books that reflect daily life deepen the learning at this age. Little narratives about kids playing, putting on clothes, or having breakfast may pique your toddler’s interest. You can even make your own books featuring pictures of friends, family, and familiar places. When you make it personal, they’ll pay attention.
Select 12-to-24-Month Milestones & Targets
Oral Language
- Puts two words together, like go inside and more water
- Uses possessives, like my ball and Mommy’s cup
- Follows directions like come here or give me the toy
- Understands and uses words for some familiar objects, actions, and people
- Uses long strings of sounds, syllables, and real words with speech-like inflection
Book Behavior
- Picks up, holds, and walks with books
- Turns pages in board books
- Enjoys being read to
- Recognizes the covers of familiar books
- Points to and names familiar characters and objects in books
- Points to things they want you to name
- Looks at pictures when the object or person in it is named
Development from 2 to 3 Years
Kids may say up to three hundred words and understand even more by 3 years old. Counting aloud while pointing out objects is now a possibility, as are maneuvering puzzle pieces into place and climbing to reach things. Play gets more social. Little ones start watching and copying what their playmates are doing and may even (gasp!) share their toys a bit.
More verbs (run, walk, fall, jump) and more names for places and things (house, park, cake) emerge now, although longer words with more syllables and consonant clusters may still get clipped. An avocado may just be a cado, a banana a nana, a squirrel a skirl. One helpful habit to shore up now is affirming and acknowledging whatever communication attempt they make. Yes, that is an avocado! Yes, it’s a banana! Yes, that’s a squirrel! Whatever they say can be followed with yes, plus a word and correct pronunciation of your own.
At this point, your little one’s conceptual understanding may be taking off. Kids this age often comprehend time and position (today, tomorrow, in, on, and under) and are full of questions, especially why. You have an opportunity here to step up your teaching in two big ways: explaining what words mean and nudging your toddler to use the words, too. You can facilitate this learning just by naming the foods you eat, the clothes you put on, and the objects in your environment, as well as adding in some descriptive terms to support their word knowledge. The cold water, the rough sandpaper, the soft pillow.
In choosing and sharing books, keep in mind that while there’s a time and place for longer children’s literature, you shouldn’t overlook the power of five-minute stories read on a regular basis. It’s not the length of the story but the cumulative impact of engaging with you, print, and oral language that enriches a child’s life and skills.
Many parents learn to love short, colorful books because they can read them in a minute. Knowing that you can make an impact in a minimal amount of time may give you the nudge you need to read to your little one in the moment, versus putting it off in the hope of finding the “perfect” time.
Once you get started, you can always do repeated reading of the same books (toddlers love and benefit from repetition) or read multiple short stories to extend reading time. You just need to get started.
Select 2-to-3-Year Milestones & Targets
Oral Language
- Uses three-word phrases, like Sam is running.
- Says their name when asked
- Asks and answers who, what, where, why, and how questions
- Engages in two or more back-and-forth exchanges in conversations
- Uses some -s, -ed, and -ing word endings
Speech-Sound Awareness
- Hears and produces rhymes and alliteration
- Claps syllables
- Blends syllables verbally, e.g., cup plus cake equals cupcake
Print Awareness
- Recognizes logos in the environment, e.g., McDonald’s
- Identifies a letter or letters in their own name
Emergent Writing
- Scribbles with intentional circles and dots
Book Behavior
- Turns book pages
- Enjoys looking at books independently
- Pretends to read familiar books
- Recalls book characters and straightforward storylines
- Points to and discusses pictures in books
Development from 3 to 4 Years
Kids’ spoken language typically is quite developed at this point. Even total strangers can follow what they’re saying. They’re full-on conversational partners, who answer questions, respond to requests, and speak up if they feel cut off (It’s my turn!). Feelings and everyday life become regular topics of conversation now that they have the vocabulary to support it.
Their attention to and interest in longer stories takes off, and they can show off their comprehension by answering questions about what they just heard. They’re speaking in longer sentences and linking the ideas in those sentences together. They can follow (and appreciate) a clear storyline from beginning to middle to end. You can ask questions during read-alouds that prompt them to think more, guess what will come next, and connect stories to their own experiences. What fun!
You’ll want to stick more closely to the text as printed on the page now, too, if you were prone to freestyling or skipping passages to keep their interest. Making speech-to-print connections is on their horizon, so the verbal-written match should be more consistent. Also, be sure to read nonfiction titles, too, which grab kids’ attention, pique their curiosity, and build their vocabularies.
If books and reading aloud have been a part of your family life since your child’s infancy, they may already recognize some letters, such as their own first initial. Begin gradually, yet inten- tionally, calling attention to more letters at this age—in isolation, in your daily environment, and in the books you read. Point to letters, name them, and describe their lines, dots, and curves.
Select 3-to-4-Year Milestones & Targets
Oral Language
- Speaks clearly and forms four-word sentences, like Mommy is eating breakfast.
- Uses more pronouns: they, us, hers, his, them, her, my, me, mine, you
- Uses possessives: dog’s toy
- Talks about objects and their functions
- Can share something that happened earlier in the day
- Identifies some colors, shapes, and letters
- Follows multistep directions, like Put on your pajamas, brush your teeth, and then get in bed
Speech-Sound Awareness
- Identifies, claps, and counts syllables in words
- Identifies and produces rhymes
- Identifies and produces alliteration
- Isolates and compares initial letter sounds in words
Print Awareness
- Recognizes print in their environment
- Recognizes their own name in print, plus some familiar words
- Names letters on everyday objects, signs, and posters
Emergent Writing
- Makes letter-like scribbles to represent words
- Attempts to print their own name
Book Behavior
- Follows the structure of a story
- Makes predictions about what will happen next in a tale
- Connects text to personal experience
- Points to print as the source of information in a story
- Recognizes and prefers favorite characters in books
Edited and reprinted with permission from Reading for Our Lives by Maya Payne Smart, published by AVERY, an imprint of Penguin Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House, LLC.
Copyright © 2022 by Maya Payne Smart.
Get Reading for Our Lives: A Literacy Action Plan from Birth to Six
Learn how to foster your child’s pre-reading and reading skills easily, affordably, and playfully in the time you’re already spending together.
Get Reading for Our Lives I’m so excited to announce the updated paperback edition of Reading for Our Lives! This new version’s lower price point makes it more affordable for everyone. That plus its lower shipping cost also makes it particularly appealing for bulk purchases by birth-to-three programs, early childhood centers, literacy nonprofits, and schools looking to empower parents as their children’s first and most powerful literacy leaders.
And let’s be honest. This book couldn’t be coming at a more urgent moment.
The latest results from the National Assessment of Educational Progress confirm what many of us feared: children’s reading skills have reached new lows post-COVID, with the most vulnerable students seeing the steepest declines. The reading crisis is still here, and it’s getting worse. Yes, factors like screen time and school absence play a role, but the deeper problem is long-standing—too many children enter school with weak language and literacy foundations.
The truth is, reading struggles don’t start in the classroom. They begin long before, in the earliest years of a child’s life, when brain development, oral-language experiences, and alphabetic knowledge set the foundation for learning. Many of today’s highest-achieving students didn’t succeed solely because of classroom instruction. They started out ahead because their parents nurtured language, vocabulary, and cognitive development from birth.
This doesn’t mean schools are off the hook. Far from it. Schools must provide the systematic, explicit phonics instruction that most children need to become proficient readers. But we can’t expect teachers to perform miracles when large numbers of students show up far behind—lacking essential vocabulary, alphabet knowledge, and book familiarity, often with developmental delays nobody caught. That’s mission impossible.
We have to be proactive. We have to lay a strong foundation early and then, once kids are in school, intervene aggressively with high-dosage, high-quality tutoring when gaps emerge.
That’s exactly why I wrote Reading for Our Lives—to lay out in clear, actionable terms exactly what parents and early caregivers need to do in the first years to prepare kids for reading. It’s also why I revised this new paperback edition to make it even easier for parents, educators, and community leaders to glean impactful ways to take action after reading it.
What’s New in the Paperback Edition?
The heart of the book remains the same—the message that parents are their children’s first and most powerful literacy leaders. The paperback edition streamlines and sharpens the content, making it even more practical and simple for parents to lean into that role.
Here’s what’s new:
- Updated Research & Stats: The latest data on reading, literacy, and screen time show why early literacy action is even more urgent today than when the book first came out.
- More Action: Exercises have been streamlined and language simplified for quick wins that build both parent confidence and child engagement, while journal prompts transform parent reflection into concrete action steps.
- More Real-Parent Voices: New parent stories and parent-child dialogues provide social proof that these strategies work—and remind parents they’re not alone in their struggles or successes.
- A Fresh Look: The cover now features a real-life moment—a young girl flipping through a book—replacing the original illustrated silhouettes.
- A Clearer, Parent-Focused Title: The subtitle now reads The Urgency of Early Literacy and the Action Plan to Help Your Child, making it clear that this book is for parents and that it’s useful for kids even beyond the age of six. (The previous subtitle was A Literacy Action Plan from Birth to Six.)
- A New Financial Mindset: A chapter on literacy spending reframes “budgeting” as “investing,” reinforcing the message that every book, resource, and reading habit is a strategic, long-term investment in our children’s future.
- A Smarter Flow: A reorganization of some of the material makes the flow of the book easier to follow—now, what to teach comes before how to teach, making the book more intuitive to follow.
The Time to Act is Now
We don’t have years to wait for policy changes or new educational trends to fix this. We need millions more parents to understand how to build language and literacy skills at home—starting at birth—and how to advocate for adequate reading instruction once their children enter school.
This updated edition of Reading for Our Lives gives an action plan for that work that’s clearer, more accessible, and more actionable than ever. Whether you pick up the original hardcover or the new paperback, though, the core framework remains the same. So anyone reading either edition can still join the conversation with the same essential knowledge and key takeaways.
Let’s get serious. Let’s be proactive. Let’s build a generation of strong, confident readers—starting right now.
Get Reading for Our Lives: The Urgency of Early Literacy and the Action Plan to Help Your Child
Learn how to foster your child’s pre-reading and reading skills easily, affordably, and playfully in the time you’re already spending together.
Get Reading for Our Lives
I’m thrilled to share my latest piece, published by Katie Couric Media: “How Grandparents Are Shaping the Next Generation of Readers.” It’s a piece close to my heart that highlights something we don’t talk about enough—how grandparents are quietly, powerfully shaping children’s learning and literacy today.
In the article, I explore the unique and growing role grandparents play in modern families, including mine. Whether they’re helping with school pickups, cooking meals, or sharing beloved books from their own childhoods, grandparents are increasingly part of kids’ daily lives—and that gives them a meaningful opportunity to support early language and literacy.
Drawing from my family’s experience and national trends, I got to share how even the simplest moments of grandparenting young kids can have a lasting impact on their development. And grandparents often bring something no one else can: time, wisdom, and a slower pace that invites conversation, storytelling, and learning.
This article is a celebration of the vital role grandparents play in nurturing future readers—and a practical call to action for anyone with a grandparent or grandchild in their life.
Whether you’re a grandparent helping raise young kids yourself, you’re a parent relying on grandparenting support, or you know families that are, I hope you’ll find this article interesting and relevant. And please consider sharing it with a grandparent who’s making a difference—sometimes the quietest support leaves the deepest impact.
Get Reading for Our Lives: The Urgency of Early Literacy and the Action Plan to Help Your Child
Learn how to foster your child’s pre-reading and reading skills easily, affordably, and playfully in the time you’re already spending together.
Get Reading for Our Lives Father’s Day is a chance to show all the dads they’re appreciated—and an opportunity to encourage small kids to show gratitude and love.
Young children often don’t have the words or perspective to articulate just how much their parents mean to them, but with a little creativity and guidance, even toddlers can take part in meaningful gestures that speak louder than words.
Here’s how to walk small kids through a special Father’s Day and gently build their emotional intelligence along the way.
1. It Starts with Conversation
Even very young children can reflect on what they love about their dad. Ask open-ended questions like:
- “What’s your favorite thing to do with Daddy?”
- “What makes Papa funny or silly?”
- “Why do you love your dad?”
Really listen to their answers and treat them with respect, even if they say something hilarious. Write down their answers and consider using them in a homemade card or artwork. Their sweet, unfiltered words are often the most touching gift a parent can receive.
That said, be ready to maintain your good humor if your child’s replies are unexpected or they don’t feel like cooperating with the activity. Responding and adapting to your little one with patience and flexibility is key to helping them build emotional smarts.
2. Create Something Together
Handmade gifts are like time capsules of a child’s growing heart and hands. Here are a few age-appropriate ideas:
- Handprint or footprint art: Turn their prints into a heart, a tree, or even a little superhero with “Dad” written underneath.
- “Why I Love Dad” booklet: Let your child dictate their thoughts while you write or draw them together.
- Photo collage: Print photos of special moments between father and child, and let your little one help glue and decorate the collage.
- Father’s Day poem: Follow this simple Father’s Day acrostic poem tutorial to make an adorable keepsake card.
- Bonus Gift: books to read together. If you want to buy a present for dad, picture books to read with their little ones can be a great option that encourages father-child bonding. Check out this list of great picture books for Father’s Day.
3. Encourage Acts of Kindness
Father’s Day isn’t about grand gifts. It’s about making Dad feel seen and valued.
A picnic in the park, a backyard “Dad’s Day Olympics,” or reading favorite books together can be more memorable than anything from a store.
Demonstrate to your child that, in relationships, small gestures can go a long way. Teach children that appreciation doesn’t always come in the form of a present. Instead, guide them toward kind actions like:
- Giving Dad a hug and wishing him a happy Father’s Day.
- Making a special breakfast—with help, of course.
- Bringing Dad his slippers or favorite snack.
- Helping tidy up the living room “as a surprise.”
Let children know that their time, smiles, and hugs are often the best gift a parent can receive. These actions show love in a way children can feel proud of.
4. Model Appreciation for Kids
Children learn by watching. When they see you appreciating their dad—whether it’s your partner, co-parent, or another father figure—they absorb that kindness. A simple, “We’re so lucky to have Daddy, aren’t we?” helps kids link gratitude to relationship-building.
Helping small children show appreciation for their dads isn’t about crafting the perfect gift or curating the perfect experience. It’s about nurturing empathy and connection.
Father’s Day can become a cherished memory not just for Dad, but for the child who got to say “I love you” in their own special way.
I’m so excited to share my latest article in CNBC, “Kids who learn this 1 skill early on are highly successful in life.” It’s such a meaningful opportunity to reach a new audience and get evidence-based advice into the hands of as many parents and caregivers as possible.
In the piece, I dive into research-backed early literacy strategies that families can use right from the first stages of a child’s development. I highlight how simple, everyday interactions—like narrating your actions, having back-and-forth conversations, and weaving books naturally into daily routines—can make a powerful difference in a child’s reading journey.
For anyone committed to fostering early literacy and helping close achievement gaps, I hope this article serves as a practical, encouraging resource. I truly believe that small, intentional moments can lay the strongest foundation for a child’s future reading success.
Take a look and please share the article with anyone in your life who might benefit from the information.
The book distills key insights from my book, Reading for Our Lives: The Urgency of Early Literacy and the Action Plan to Help Your Child.
The key takeaway I shared in the article is that raising a strong reader isn’t just about cozy bedtime stories—it’s about weaving language and literacy into everyday life. Drawing on more than a decade of research and expert interviews, I explain that small, consistent interactions throughout the day lay the groundwork for reading success.
Early pre-reading and reading abilities predict long-term academic and career outcomes, so it’s crucial that parents and early caregivers nurture these skills from the start. Luckily, they can do this through simple, powerful early literacy strategies like responding to baby babble, asking questions and waiting for answers, and bringing kids’ attention to the letters of the alphabet and their sounds in daily life.
Successful parents also engage kids in playful language activities, such as rhymes and tongue twisters, which sharpen children’s ability to hear and manipulate sounds—a critical skill for reading. Importantly, they don’t reserve reading for bedtime; they seize opportunities to share books and printed words throughout the day, from mealtime to errands.
By making reading and conversation a natural, regular part of family life, parents help children build the strong language foundation necessary for literacy and long-term success.
Get Reading for Our Lives: The Urgency of Early Literacy and the Action Plan to Help Your Child
Learn how to foster your child’s pre-reading and reading skills easily, affordably, and playfully in the time you’re already spending together.
Get Reading for Our Lives When we think of kids and reading, we often think about boosting literacy, fostering academic success, or helping them wind down before bed. But stories offer so much more, too—connection, escape, and, importantly, the opportunity to expand kids’ minds and perspectives.
Books can be a powerful way to help your child grow into a kind, compassionate person and to develop their social and emotional intelligence, which in turn supports strong social skills and mental health. Reading opens a world of experiences beyond their own, and with just a few thoughtful tweaks to your routine, you can use books to nurture empathy and social-emotional awareness. Here’s how:
1. Read Fiction
Fiction is a natural empathy-builder. When kids follow a character’s journey—especially through struggles, mistakes, and growth—they begin to understand what it feels like to walk in someone else’s shoes. They can also absorb valuable examples of resilience.
Whether they’re about a dragon learning to control its temper or a little girl nervous on the first day of school, fictional stories help children relate to others’ emotions. This connection lays the groundwork for caring about others in real life.
There’s research that backs up this intuitive link between relating to fictional characters’ feelings and developing empathy, social smarts, and emotional intelligence. Contributing writer Andrea Hunt curated a list of touching picture books to help build empathy to get you started.
As kids get older, they’ll naturally want to pick their own reading material, and it’s wise to let them. You can still influence their choices, however—sometimes recommending a favorite title will do it. Other times, simply leaving out a stack of tempting and well chosen books will pique an older reader’s interest.
- Tip: Choose evocative stories that make readers care about the characters and relate to their feelings. If a story makes you tear up as you read, it may be a good pick!
2. Read Stories About Characters Who Are Different
It’s tremendously meaningful for kids to see people like them represented in books, so provide your child with chances to see themselves reflected in fiction. At the same time, stories also offer a valuable opportunity to help kids empathize with people who are different than they are. It’s well worth your while to make a conscious effort to select books with characters from different cultures, backgrounds, abilities, interests, and experiences, too.
These stories broaden your child’s perspective and normalize diversity. Whether they’re about a refugee family, a child in a different part of the country or world, or a sympathetic character with a different background or personality than your child, these narratives help kids see the world through someone else’s eyes—and feel for them.
You can stretch your child by including excellent stories about people or experiences they might know less about or relate to less. Kids often gravitate to finding a sense of identity based on exclusion, from boys vs girls in preschool to jocks vs drama kids in middle school. Widely diverse fiction can gently push them and build tolerance that they’ll apply in real life.
- Tip: It helps build empathy when kids can relate to a character in some way, even if the character is outwardly very different from them. Look for emotionally complex, sympathetic stories that create nuanced characters that kids can really get invested in.
3. Talk About What You Read
When you read aloud to your child, take a little time to chat. If your little one interrupts the story to talk about it or to share their own experiences, that’s gold—embrace it. You can also spark reflection with gentle questions about how your child would feel in the character’s situation, and get the conversation going by sharing your own (genuine) reactions or experiences.
As your child gets older and reads independently, look for opportunities to connect around books—without stepping on their toes too much. If they read a book you’ve read, try chatting with them about it. If they recommend a book to you, make it your business to find time to read it. You can also ask if they have any recommendations of books you should check out.
Consider questions and prompts like:
- “This story makes me remember a time I felt so embarrassed/sad/shy…”
- “Wow, I feel so sad for this character—it never occurred to me that someone might feel that way.”
- “Have you ever had something like that happen to you?”
- “Have you ever felt that way?”
- “How do you think that made her feel?”
- “What would you do if you were in his shoes?”
- “Why do you think they acted that way?” “I think…”
Open-ended questions help your child reflect on emotions and motivations. You don’t need to quiz them—just be curious together. Let the conversation flow naturally. Over time, this kind of reflection will become a habit, helping kids become more thoughtful and aware of others. It can also help them learn to assume good intentions and handle conflicts more patiently.
This will not only turn them into a kinder person, but it will also make them better at social interactions, smoothing their path a bit as they grow up.
- Tip: Provide a reading journal and encourage your child to chronicle their reactions to books. Reflecting on their reading and exploring their thoughts about it in writing, as well as conversation, can also support emotional intelligence and self-expression.
4. Be Kind and Responsive
Empathy is caught, not just taught. The way you respond to your child as you talk about books (or other things!) matters, too. Listen without interrupting. Acknowledge your child’s thoughts and feelings. If your child resists, don’t push too hard. Children—like all humans—can be sensitive. It is painful to relate to difficult feelings, even in fiction.
Sometimes, the difficult emotions or situations facing a fictional character may feel too painful for your child to handle. In these cases, they may act like they don’t care or even say something cruel about the person suffering the difficulty. Don’t assume this means your child doesn’t care about others. It may actually be a sign that they need to put some space between themselves and the character, because the feelings are too real.
Overall, show your child the empathy and compassion you’d like them to develop. As you model warmth, patience, and curiosity, your child will learn how to offer those same qualities to others.
- Tip: Cultivate responsiveness in your interactions with your child. Responsive parenting is actually associated with raising smart, emotionally intelligent kids and will build your bond as your child grows.
The Takeaway
You don’t need fancy tools or complex lessons to teach empathy and social-emotional intelligence. A simple story, a quiet moment, and a little conversation can go a long way.
Remember, raising children is a long-term marathon, not a sprint. You don’t have to do it all, all the time. A bit of intentionality and some moments of meaningful connection can be pivotal.
So next time you settle in for a bedtime book, remember: you’re not just reading a story—you’re growing a heart.
Raising kids these days seems to involve, among other things, mountains of stuff. And as we navigate family life and all those attendant belongings, it can be hard to find a balance.
Do we hold onto mementos that pile up at warp speed? (That adorable first outfit, a favorite lovey, beautiful book gifts, and so on…) Or do we declutter in real time, with the risk of finding that some metaphorical babies have gone out with the bathwater?
I’ve been thinking about this while clearing out my family’s beloved collection of picture books. We really, really like reading and have owned a lot of picture books. As in, a lot. With my youngest poised to enter middle school, it’s clearly time to purge all but a few very special ones.
Yet it’s been hard to let them go. There was so much of the toddlers and preschoolers my adolescents once were—and the young mother I was to them—wrapped up in those volumes. We certainly couldn’t keep them, but I hated to discard them without a trace. Filling boxes to donate, I imagined my kids someday recalling hazy memories of favorite stories but unable to find the titles.
And this, in turn, got me thinking about the great value of keeping a family reading journal. After all, when we record what we’ve read, we can capture the substance of our reading without storing physical books. We can consult the list years later to rediscover old reads, and even reacquire any we wish to read again from a library or bookstore.
There are many other benefits to keeping a family book journal, of course—encouraging conversation and connection, writing and deep thinking, and lifelong habits of reading and reflection. But my nostalgic side warms to the idea of pinning down those precious moments when my kids adored hearing stories that now barely rate as memories in their busy teen and tween worlds. Of storing those memories safely, ready to pull out and dust off down the line.
So that tops my list of reasons to keep a family reading journal with your children, although the others are at least as valuable.
4 Reasons to Keep a Family Reading Journal
Below are my top four reasons to start a book journal with your kids. But before we go through them, I just want to note that there are many ways to journal, so find what’s right for you.
Writing on paper—not your phone—is ideal with small children, but that can be as simple or creative as you like. Create a lovely paper journal if that’s your jam. Or just jot down notes together and then snap photos to preserve them in a digital album.
Ultimately, your journal—much like the books you share—is about the information and ideas it contains, not the vessel that holds them.
Whatever form you choose, write down the titles and authors of the books you read, the date you read (or finish) them, and you and your child’s reactions or thoughts. You might even include a couple of notes about their favorite character or a great quote.
1. Cherish the Memories Without the Clutter
As your child grows, you’ll move through hundreds of books. A family reading journal offers a beautiful balance between drowning under books (believe me, it’s a real possibility) and treating them like paper plates, swiftly discarded and even more swiftly forgotten.
Collect the memories of the stories you’ve shared without needing to keep the books themselves forever. Later, even without a house full of dusty shelves, you and your child can look back at the literary worlds you visited together—and even share them with the next generation.
2. Foster Special Moments and Deepen Reflection
Sharing a book with your child is already a special time, and adding a journal entry afterward can elevate it into a mini-ritual. Writing down both of your reactions, your child’s favorite elements, and thoughts about the story encourages reflection and conversation that builds your child’s brain and your connection.
It opens up the door to delving deeper and gives your child space to reflect and feel heard. What made them laugh? What made them think? How did you feel reading it together? You’re not just recording facts; you’re capturing emotions and insights that help develop empathy, curiosity, and critical thinking.
Just be sure not to force it or push too much. You don’t want the practice to backfire and make your or your child feel like story time is too much work or requires too much vulnerability. Make sure you allow both of you to sometimes just share a story on the fly, without a need to pull out your journal. Just journaling occasionally or about favorite stories is fine.
3. Encourage Writing and Self-Expression
Keeping a family reading journal can also be a lovely, fun way to encourage your child to work on their writing. You’ll want to take on the journal-writing duties at first, recording the details of books you share. As your child grows, give them opportunities to write the titles or author names.
Eventually they can take on writing up their reactions or thoughts on the books. This will encourage your child to develop their writing skills and self-expression. With a bit of luck, it may even fuel a habit of reflection and journaling that can support mental health, self-awareness, and deep thinking as they grow into young adults.
4. Create a Keepsake for the Future
One day, this journal can be a precious window into your child’s early years. Beyond the photos and report cards, a family reading journal can give a rare glimpse into their developing mind and heart. It will be a keepsake filled with the books that shaped their childhood, their budding opinions, their sense of humor, and your shared experience as a family.
Imagine your grown child flipping through your old reading journal, rediscovering the books you loved together. They may one day share these very same titles with their own children, reading aloud the stories that once filled your living room with laughter and wonder. The journal can become more than a personal memory—it can be a legacy, a bridge between generations built on shared stories and family traditions.
Looking for a rewarding, flexible side hustle that fits into your child’s school schedule? Substitute teaching might be the opportunity for you.
Whether you’re a stay-at-home parent looking to re-enter the workforce, a part-time worker in need of supplemental income, or in between jobs, subbing can provide extra income while allowing you to support your local schools.
“I like the flexibility and I like that it fits into the hours of school for my kids, so I can take them to their after-school activities,” said Elke, a mom I know who substitutes in her children’s schools. “I think it’s a great side hustle for moms. I’m surprised more moms don’t do it.”
Here’s a primer on some basics to know about becoming a substitute teacher and why it can be a great part-time job for parents.
Why Become a Substitute Teacher?
Substitute teaching offers a nice combination of flexibility, purpose, and income. Unlike many jobs, subbing generally allows you to set your own schedule and working location.
The districts I know about let substitutes choose when and where they work, making it easy to align with your child’s school schedule, your commute preferences, and your other obligations.
Substitutes can generally choose the days they want to work and say yes or no to specific assignments. In many districts, subs can see available assignments online or in an app each day and choose one that fits their preferences—or opt not to work that day.
Only want to work in your own child’s school, on campuses that are within five minutes of your home, or in certain grades? That should be an option in most cases, although some districts do require subs to work a certain number of days or be available to work in all schools. (In San Francisco, for example, subs are supposed to work at least five days during their first semester.)
Many parents opt to substitute outside their kids’ schools or districts, too. Besides opening up more work, this can give you great perspective and a valuable chance to compare your child’s school with others. One parent on X described substituting in a “no phones” school and seeing how much kids benefitted, compared to her own kids’ school, where phones were everywhere.
Subbing is a meaningful job—you’re helping maintain continuity in students’ education and a positive environment while teachers are away. It’s also a great way to dip your toes in if you’re interested in pursuing a teaching career down the line.
Benefits of Substitute Teaching as a Side Hustle
- Flexible Schedule: Work only on the days you’re available.
- Same Hours as Your Child’s School Day: Depending on where you sub and the age of your kid(s), you shouldn’t need childcare to take this gig. You may just need to arrange drop-off or pick-up for your child, unless you only take sub jobs at their school.
- Opportunity to Get Involved: Be present in your child’s school and community. It’s like volunteering, but you get paid! “It’s a good way to get to know who your kid is friends with and see what’s going on at their school,” Elke said.
- Make a Difference: The school years are crucial in children’s lives and in shaping the next generation. Your contribution to educating, supporting, and protecting them is vital.
- No Work to Take Home: Unlike full-time teachers, substitutes typically don’t have to do grading or lesson planning after hours.
- Extra Income: Earn money without the commitment of a full-time job.
How to Become a Substitute Teacher
To see if your district is hiring, visit the district’s website and look for a “Careers,” “Employment,” or “Human Resources” section. Many districts also post openings for substitute teachers on job boards like Indeed or EdJoin (used heavily in California). You can also call your district’s HR department or main office.
All states and school districts have their own requirements for substitute teachers, but here are some common expectations:
- Education: You may or may not need a college degree to substitute. For example, applicants in California at the time of writing must either (a) have a bachelor’s degree or (b) be enrolled in college and demonstrate mastery of reading, writing, and math basics. They can demonstrate mastery through coursework, SAT scores, or by passing the California Basic Educational Skills Test. Some states may also require college credits in education or a related field.
- Certification: You may need a substitute teacher permit or license from your state, which may involve a short training program or exam.
- Background Check: You’ll need to pass a criminal background check and likely a fingerprinting process.
- Health Requirements: There may be health-related requirements to work in the schools. For example you may need to show a negative TB test or a waiver from a healthcare provider.
- References or Letters of Recommendation: Some districts require these, along with an online job application.
Check your local school district’s website or state educational department to learn about specific requirements in your area.
How Much Do Substitute Teachers Earn?
Pay rates for substitutes vary by location and school district. In my California school district, substitute teachers earn $250 per day, while in nearby San Francisco they get upwards of $325 a day.
Some districts offer higher pay for long-term assignments or for those with teaching certifications. In my district, subs get an extra $30 per day after 30 days in a classroom, while San Francisco offers almost $40 extra per day after 10 days in a class. There may also be bonuses for teachers who work more than a certain number of days in a semester.
Subbing can provide a nice stream of supplemental income on your terms, and the flexibility means it may even be possible to balance it with other part-time work or higher education.
What’s a Typical Day Like as a Substitute?
As a substitute teacher, your day will depend on the school and grade level you’re assigned to.
In some cases, you’ll follow a lesson plan left by the regular teacher. Other times, you’ll just supervise as kids log into Google classroom or other digital platforms to find their work for the day. You may even need to get creative sometimes, if you get limited direction from the teacher.
Some days will be easy—students will be engaged and cooperative. Other days may be more challenging, requiring patience and resourcefulness to manage distractible kids. This is where parents may have an edge. After all, you’ve been managing your own kids at home for years!
Here’s a rough outline of what to expect:
- Morning: Arrive early, check in at the office, and review lesson plans.
- Classroom Time: Supervise work or teach lessons, assist students, and maintain a safe, positive classroom environment.
- Breaks and Lunch: Bring a lunch to eat in the teacher’s lounge or common area, and use your break time to plan for the afternoon.
- Afternoon: Continue teaching, guide students through activities, and leave notes for the returning teacher. Unlike regular teachers, a substitute’s day ends when the school day is over, and you more or less get to go home when the kids do!
How Are Substitute Teachers Evaluated?
Substitute teachers are mostly evaluated informally, and that starts when you walk in the door. Office staff, teachers, aides, and administrators will notice if you’re friendly, professional, and on time.
People also notice how you manage the classroom, follow instructions, and interact with the class, advises a staffing agency. If you’re shouting across the room or your class gets wild enough to disrupt others, it may get back to the principal. Even how you act during lunch or in the hallway matters. Students also impact how you’re perceived—kids will talk about their day to their regular teacher and parents, and their feedback often gets passed along.
Principals may not be watching you directly, but they hear what’s going on from everyone else. Some districts also have systems to collect formal feedback or evaluations of substitutes. Don’t stress too much, though—simply treating kids and adults courteously and being responsible can go a long way to making a good impression. So be friendly, come prepared, follow the rules, stay flexible, and show that you can keep your cool even if things don’t go as expected.
Tips for Success as a Substitute Teacher
- Be Flexible: Be open to different grade levels and subjects—variety keeps things interesting! Most of all, respond to the circumstances. If your class is unruly or disengaged, be ready to change your plan and shake it up.
- Arrive Early: Give yourself time to review lesson plans and get settled. It’s also nice to have time to use the bathroom or get a drink of water before the students arrive.
- Prepare a Backup Plan: Have a few educational activities in case the teacher’s lesson plans are unclear, incomplete, or nonexistent. It’s worthwhile to have some enriching, fun ideas up your sleeve. Just avoid hot-button issues or sensitive topics. You can even use a little time to pay it forward to the main teacher. Principal Zac Bauermaster suggests subs take time “off script” to have kids write their teacher notes of appreciation.
- Stay Calm and Confident: Classroom management can be tough, but maintaining a firm yet friendly attitude helps. Remember, it’s just one day and sticking to a lesson plan is not a life-or-death requirement. Whatever grade you’re in, they’re still kids. Keep your cool and model grown-up behavior. Elke offered up some veteran mom wisdom that’s served her as a sub: “Keeping a level head and being respectful even when they’re not is really helpful.”
- Bring Your Sense of Humor: Kids can give substitute teachers a hard time. (Maybe you even did that when you were little!) Meanwhile, busy school staff may provide little information or support. And subs also have to face the unexpected, like last-minute changes. If you bring a sense of humor, it can help you roll with the punches. You’ll also have more fun. With a little luck, the kids will catch the mood, too!
- Build Relationships: Be friendly and get to know school staff and administrators when possible. (Just keep in mind they’re juggling a lot.) As you get to know them, they’ll be more likely to call you for future jobs and you’ll know who to ask for help when you sub.
- Embrace the Unexpected: Every day as a sub is different … much like parenting. Enjoy the adventure!
Preparing to Substitute Teach
Some districts provide short training sessions to familiarize substitute teachers with classroom management techniques and school policies.
Many don’t, however, so you may want to do a bit of prepping on your own. There are lots of online resources and social media accounts dedicated to sharing tricks of the teaching trade—although years of parenting may well be some of the best preparation, too.
Elke shared that her school district didn’t provide any training, so she just channeled her own school years alongside her parenting experience.
“I felt silly the first time I did it and I was standing in front of the classroom,” she recalled. “I thought, ok, I’m just going to act like a teacher!” It worked out, and she’s now a frequent sub in her children’s middle and high schools.
Is Substitute Teaching Right for You?
If you enjoy working with kids, have some patience, and can handle a bit of unpredictability, substitute teaching may be a fantastic side hustle.
“You need to be somebody who is independent and can figure it out on your own,” Elke advised. “It requires you to think on your toes and be flexible.”
Sounds a lot like being a parent to me!
If you’re up for it, substituting may be a great side gig to earn extra money while getting involved in your child’s school community. Plus, it offers the satisfaction of knowing you’re making a difference in students’ lives. Check with your local school district to see how you can get started.
Lately, I’ve been reflecting on the value of awards and recognition. I’ve unexpectedly received a few honors recently, and each time I felt like the experience was about something much bigger than me. While the recognition was validating, I also sensed that I was a focal point. The awards gave me a chance to serve, for a moment, as a symbol of something much larger and more profound—a movement that I had the honor of representing in that time and space.
It got me thinking that any given award is less about the individual recipient and more about the issue they’re being honored for. More specifically, they’re about mobilizing the power of gathering and celebrating the communities and relationships that fuel meaningful work on that issue.
The Power of Gathering
One of the most rewarding aspects of receiving these awards has been the opportunity to be in a room with like-minded people who are all working toward a shared goal. I was reminded of this when I participated in the 30th-anniversary celebration of Literacy First, a high-impact tutoring program in Austin, Texas, that I deeply admire.
They chose to mark their milestone with a book-club discussion that brought together board members, staff, tutors, and partners. It was an honor to celebrate their incredible work—a chance to publicly acknowledge what I’ve known privately for years: they are an exemplary organization, changing lives through literacy.
That gathering provided a special kind of platform. I could have written a social media post or praised their efforts in other settings (and I have), but there was something uniquely powerful about being in a shared space, albeit virtual. A unique potency in collectively celebrating their impact.
Unexpected Connections
Closer to home, I recently received a Community Service Award from St. Francis Children’s Center in Milwaukee. The award was presented at a gala that brought together people from my local community, many of whom were new to my work. Being on stage gave me the opportunity to introduce my mission to fresh eyes, but it also led to some reconnections.
A woman I hadn’t seen in more than a year, when we’d shared bleachers at a middle school basketball game, was at the event. She congratulated me, and in our brief conversation, I learned she now serves on the board of a mentoring organization in the community—one I would soon be partnering with. That chance encounter, made possible by the gathering, renewed our acquaintance and kindled collaboration potential.
This is what I love about in-person gatherings: the unexpected touchpoints, the little moments of reconnection that strengthen the fabric of our communities.
A Platform to Honor Others
Awards also offer a nudge to reflect—on my own work and on those who have shaped it—and me. At the St. Francis Children’s Center event, I dedicated the award to my mother. She has been my biggest cheerleader from day one, alongside my father before he passed. More than that, she laid the foundation for my love of language and literacy.
She filled my childhood with words—thousands upon thousands of them. She enrolled me in early childhood programs, schools, and summer activities, each one helping to shape who I am today. Being recognized on that stage gave me the perfect moment to acknowledge her role in my journey.
Lately, when receiving public recognition, I’ve begun paying tribute to my namesake, Maya Angelou. I sometimes recite a few lines of her poetry as a nod to her enduring impact. Anytime I take a stage, it’s my honor to bring her with me.
The Joy of Celebration
Ever since the pandemic, I haven’t attended nearly as many events as I used to. This season of recognition has reminded me how energizing it is to gather in person. The handshakes, the quick “how are you?” check-ins, the introductions that lead to new partnerships—it all matters.
These moments don’t have to be long or formal. Sometimes, the most meaningful connections happen in those brief exchanges between speeches or in line at the coat check. Or maybe that’s just the introvert in me that prefers one-on-one interactions over holding forth in a crowd.
Awards as an Exclamation Mark
In the midst of my own personal awards season, I fell down the rabbit hole of “Mark Twain Prize for American Humor” clips on YouTube. My descent started with one Kevin Hart tribute video, then spiraled into watching segments of ceremonies honoring Dave Chappelle, Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, and others.
What struck me was the sheer joy of these gatherings—the way colleagues and friends came together, not just to recognize talent, but to express, out loud, what they love about someone’s contributions to the world.
That’s the heart of it, isn’t it? Whether it’s a community award, a literacy celebration, or a night at the Kennedy Center, recognition serves as a rare and precious moment to pause and say, This matters. You matter. We’re with you.
For those of us doing mission-driven work, so much of what we do happens in solitude. We put in thousands of hours, refining, creating, advocating, pushing forward, often without immediate validation. Awards aren’t the reason we do the work—but they are a beautiful punctuation mark, a moment to step back and acknowledge the impact.
So, here’s to more celebrations, more gatherings, and more moments to publicly thank all the people who make the award-winners’ work possible.
Get Reading for Our Lives: A Literacy Action Plan from Birth to Six
Learn how to foster your child’s pre-reading and reading skills easily, affordably, and playfully in the time you’re already spending together.
Get Reading for Our Lives