Father’s Day is a chance to show all the dads they’re appreciated—and an opportunity to encourage small kids to show gratitude and love.
Young children often don’t have the words or perspective to articulate just how much their parents mean to them, but with a little creativity and guidance, even toddlers can take part in meaningful gestures that speak louder than words.
Here’s how to walk small kids through a special Father’s Day and gently build their emotional intelligence along the way.
1. It Starts with Conversation
Even very young children can reflect on what they love about their dad. Ask open-ended questions like:
- “What’s your favorite thing to do with Daddy?”
- “What makes Papa funny or silly?”
- “Why do you love your dad?”
Really listen to their answers and treat them with respect, even if they say something hilarious. Write down their answers and consider using them in a homemade card or artwork. Their sweet, unfiltered words are often the most touching gift a parent can receive.
That said, be ready to maintain your good humor if your child’s replies are unexpected or they don’t feel like cooperating with the activity. Responding and adapting to your little one with patience and flexibility is key to helping them build emotional smarts.
2. Create Something Together
Handmade gifts are like time capsules of a child’s growing heart and hands. Here are a few age-appropriate ideas:
- Handprint or footprint art: Turn their prints into a heart, a tree, or even a little superhero with “Dad” written underneath.
- “Why I Love Dad” booklet: Let your child dictate their thoughts while you write or draw them together.
- Photo collage: Print photos of special moments between father and child, and let your little one help glue and decorate the collage.
- Father’s Day poem: Follow this simple Father’s Day acrostic poem tutorial to make an adorable keepsake card.
- Bonus Gift: books to read together. If you want to buy a present for dad, picture books to read with their little ones can be a great option that encourages father-child bonding. Check out this list of great picture books for Father’s Day.
3. Encourage Acts of Kindness
Father’s Day isn’t about grand gifts. It’s about making Dad feel seen and valued.
A picnic in the park, a backyard “Dad’s Day Olympics,” or reading favorite books together can be more memorable than anything from a store.
Demonstrate to your child that, in relationships, small gestures can go a long way. Teach children that appreciation doesn’t always come in the form of a present. Instead, guide them toward kind actions like:
- Giving Dad a hug and wishing him a happy Father’s Day.
- Making a special breakfast—with help, of course.
- Bringing Dad his slippers or favorite snack.
- Helping tidy up the living room “as a surprise.”
Let children know that their time, smiles, and hugs are often the best gift a parent can receive. These actions show love in a way children can feel proud of.
4. Model Appreciation for Kids
Children learn by watching. When they see you appreciating their dad—whether it’s your partner, co-parent, or another father figure—they absorb that kindness. A simple, “We’re so lucky to have Daddy, aren’t we?” helps kids link gratitude to relationship-building.
Helping small children show appreciation for their dads isn’t about crafting the perfect gift or curating the perfect experience. It’s about nurturing empathy and connection.
Father’s Day can become a cherished memory not just for Dad, but for the child who got to say “I love you” in their own special way.
I’m so excited to share my latest article in CNBC, “Kids who learn this 1 skill early on are highly successful in life.” It’s such a meaningful opportunity to reach a new audience and get evidence-based advice into the hands of as many parents and caregivers as possible.
In the piece, I dive into research-backed early literacy strategies that families can use right from the first stages of a child’s development. I highlight how simple, everyday interactions—like narrating your actions, having back-and-forth conversations, and weaving books naturally into daily routines—can make a powerful difference in a child’s reading journey.
For anyone committed to fostering early literacy and helping close achievement gaps, I hope this article serves as a practical, encouraging resource. I truly believe that small, intentional moments can lay the strongest foundation for a child’s future reading success.
Take a look and please share the article with anyone in your life who might benefit from the information.
The book distills key insights from my book, Reading for Our Lives: The Urgency of Early Literacy and the Action Plan to Help Your Child.
The key takeaway I shared in the article is that raising a strong reader isn’t just about cozy bedtime stories—it’s about weaving language and literacy into everyday life. Drawing on more than a decade of research and expert interviews, I explain that small, consistent interactions throughout the day lay the groundwork for reading success.
Early pre-reading and reading abilities predict long-term academic and career outcomes, so it’s crucial that parents and early caregivers nurture these skills from the start. Luckily, they can do this through simple, powerful early literacy strategies like responding to baby babble, asking questions and waiting for answers, and bringing kids’ attention to the letters of the alphabet and their sounds in daily life.
Successful parents also engage kids in playful language activities, such as rhymes and tongue twisters, which sharpen children’s ability to hear and manipulate sounds—a critical skill for reading. Importantly, they don’t reserve reading for bedtime; they seize opportunities to share books and printed words throughout the day, from mealtime to errands.
By making reading and conversation a natural, regular part of family life, parents help children build the strong language foundation necessary for literacy and long-term success.
Get Reading for Our Lives: The Urgency of Early Literacy and the Action Plan to Help Your Child
Learn how to foster your child’s pre-reading and reading skills easily, affordably, and playfully in the time you’re already spending together.
Get Reading for Our Lives
When we think of kids and reading, we often think about boosting literacy, fostering academic success, or helping them wind down before bed. But stories offer so much more, too—connection, escape, and, importantly, the opportunity to expand kids’ minds and perspectives.
Books can be a powerful way to help your child grow into a kind, compassionate person and to develop their social and emotional intelligence, which in turn supports strong social skills and mental health. Reading opens a world of experiences beyond their own, and with just a few thoughtful tweaks to your routine, you can use books to nurture empathy and social-emotional awareness. Here’s how:
1. Read Fiction
Fiction is a natural empathy-builder. When kids follow a character’s journey—especially through struggles, mistakes, and growth—they begin to understand what it feels like to walk in someone else’s shoes. They can also absorb valuable examples of resilience.
Whether they’re about a dragon learning to control its temper or a little girl nervous on the first day of school, fictional stories help children relate to others’ emotions. This connection lays the groundwork for caring about others in real life.
There’s research that backs up this intuitive link between relating to fictional characters’ feelings and developing empathy, social smarts, and emotional intelligence. Contributing writer Andrea Hunt curated a list of touching picture books to help build empathy to get you started.
As kids get older, they’ll naturally want to pick their own reading material, and it’s wise to let them. You can still influence their choices, however—sometimes recommending a favorite title will do it. Other times, simply leaving out a stack of tempting and well chosen books will pique an older reader’s interest.
- Tip: Choose evocative stories that make readers care about the characters and relate to their feelings. If a story makes you tear up as you read, it may be a good pick!
2. Read Stories About Characters Who Are Different
It’s tremendously meaningful for kids to see people like them represented in books, so provide your child with chances to see themselves reflected in fiction. At the same time, stories also offer a valuable opportunity to help kids empathize with people who are different than they are. It’s well worth your while to make a conscious effort to select books with characters from different cultures, backgrounds, abilities, interests, and experiences, too.
These stories broaden your child’s perspective and normalize diversity. Whether they’re about a refugee family, a child in a different part of the country or world, or a sympathetic character with a different background or personality than your child, these narratives help kids see the world through someone else’s eyes—and feel for them.
You can stretch your child by including excellent stories about people or experiences they might know less about or relate to less. Kids often gravitate to finding a sense of identity based on exclusion, from boys vs girls in preschool to jocks vs drama kids in middle school. Widely diverse fiction can gently push them and build tolerance that they’ll apply in real life.
- Tip: It helps build empathy when kids can relate to a character in some way, even if the character is outwardly very different from them. Look for emotionally complex, sympathetic stories that create nuanced characters that kids can really get invested in.
3. Talk About What You Read
When you read aloud to your child, take a little time to chat. If your little one interrupts the story to talk about it or to share their own experiences, that’s gold—embrace it. You can also spark reflection with gentle questions about how your child would feel in the character’s situation, and get the conversation going by sharing your own (genuine) reactions or experiences.
As your child gets older and reads independently, look for opportunities to connect around books—without stepping on their toes too much. If they read a book you’ve read, try chatting with them about it. If they recommend a book to you, make it your business to find time to read it. You can also ask if they have any recommendations of books you should check out.
Consider questions and prompts like:
- “This story makes me remember a time I felt so embarrassed/sad/shy…”
- “Wow, I feel so sad for this character—it never occurred to me that someone might feel that way.”
- “Have you ever had something like that happen to you?”
- “Have you ever felt that way?”
- “How do you think that made her feel?”
- “What would you do if you were in his shoes?”
- “Why do you think they acted that way?” “I think…”
Open-ended questions help your child reflect on emotions and motivations. You don’t need to quiz them—just be curious together. Let the conversation flow naturally. Over time, this kind of reflection will become a habit, helping kids become more thoughtful and aware of others. It can also help them learn to assume good intentions and handle conflicts more patiently.
This will not only turn them into a kinder person, but it will also make them better at social interactions, smoothing their path a bit as they grow up.
- Tip: Provide a reading journal and encourage your child to chronicle their reactions to books. Reflecting on their reading and exploring their thoughts about it in writing, as well as conversation, can also support emotional intelligence and self-expression.
4. Be Kind and Responsive
Empathy is caught, not just taught. The way you respond to your child as you talk about books (or other things!) matters, too. Listen without interrupting. Acknowledge your child’s thoughts and feelings. If your child resists, don’t push too hard. Children—like all humans—can be sensitive. It is painful to relate to difficult feelings, even in fiction.
Sometimes, the difficult emotions or situations facing a fictional character may feel too painful for your child to handle. In these cases, they may act like they don’t care or even say something cruel about the person suffering the difficulty. Don’t assume this means your child doesn’t care about others. It may actually be a sign that they need to put some space between themselves and the character, because the feelings are too real.
Overall, show your child the empathy and compassion you’d like them to develop. As you model warmth, patience, and curiosity, your child will learn how to offer those same qualities to others.
- Tip: Cultivate responsiveness in your interactions with your child. Responsive parenting is actually associated with raising smart, emotionally intelligent kids and will build your bond as your child grows.
The Takeaway
You don’t need fancy tools or complex lessons to teach empathy and social-emotional intelligence. A simple story, a quiet moment, and a little conversation can go a long way.
Remember, raising children is a long-term marathon, not a sprint. You don’t have to do it all, all the time. A bit of intentionality and some moments of meaningful connection can be pivotal.
So next time you settle in for a bedtime book, remember: you’re not just reading a story—you’re growing a heart.
Raising kids these days seems to involve, among other things, mountains of stuff. And as we navigate family life and all those attendant belongings, it can be hard to find a balance.
Do we hold onto mementos that pile up at warp speed? (That adorable first outfit, a favorite lovey, beautiful book gifts, and so on…) Or do we declutter in real time, with the risk of finding that some metaphorical babies have gone out with the bathwater?
I’ve been thinking about this while clearing out my family’s beloved collection of picture books. We really, really like reading and have owned a lot of picture books. As in, a lot. With my youngest poised to enter middle school, it’s clearly time to purge all but a few very special ones.
Yet it’s been hard to let them go. There was so much of the toddlers and preschoolers my adolescents once were—and the young mother I was to them—wrapped up in those volumes. We certainly couldn’t keep them, but I hated to discard them without a trace. Filling boxes to donate, I imagined my kids someday recalling hazy memories of favorite stories but unable to find the titles.
And this, in turn, got me thinking about the great value of keeping a family reading journal. After all, when we record what we’ve read, we can capture the substance of our reading without storing physical books. We can consult the list years later to rediscover old reads, and even reacquire any we wish to read again from a library or bookstore.
There are many other benefits to keeping a family book journal, of course—encouraging conversation and connection, writing and deep thinking, and lifelong habits of reading and reflection. But my nostalgic side warms to the idea of pinning down those precious moments when my kids adored hearing stories that now barely rate as memories in their busy teen and tween worlds. Of storing those memories safely, ready to pull out and dust off down the line.
So that tops my list of reasons to keep a family reading journal with your children, although the others are at least as valuable.
4 Reasons to Keep a Family Reading Journal
Below are my top four reasons to start a book journal with your kids. But before we go through them, I just want to note that there are many ways to journal, so find what’s right for you.
Writing on paper—not your phone—is ideal with small children, but that can be as simple or creative as you like. Create a lovely paper journal if that’s your jam. Or just jot down notes together and then snap photos to preserve them in a digital album.
Ultimately, your journal—much like the books you share—is about the information and ideas it contains, not the vessel that holds them.
Whatever form you choose, write down the titles and authors of the books you read, the date you read (or finish) them, and you and your child’s reactions or thoughts. You might even include a couple of notes about their favorite character or a great quote.
1. Cherish the Memories Without the Clutter
As your child grows, you’ll move through hundreds of books. A family reading journal offers a beautiful balance between drowning under books (believe me, it’s a real possibility) and treating them like paper plates, swiftly discarded and even more swiftly forgotten.
Collect the memories of the stories you’ve shared without needing to keep the books themselves forever. Later, even without a house full of dusty shelves, you and your child can look back at the literary worlds you visited together—and even share them with the next generation.
2. Foster Special Moments and Deepen Reflection
Sharing a book with your child is already a special time, and adding a journal entry afterward can elevate it into a mini-ritual. Writing down both of your reactions, your child’s favorite elements, and thoughts about the story encourages reflection and conversation that builds your child’s brain and your connection.
It opens up the door to delving deeper and gives your child space to reflect and feel heard. What made them laugh? What made them think? How did you feel reading it together? You’re not just recording facts; you’re capturing emotions and insights that help develop empathy, curiosity, and critical thinking.
Just be sure not to force it or push too much. You don’t want the practice to backfire and make your or your child feel like story time is too much work or requires too much vulnerability. Make sure you allow both of you to sometimes just share a story on the fly, without a need to pull out your journal. Just journaling occasionally or about favorite stories is fine.
3. Encourage Writing and Self-Expression
Keeping a family reading journal can also be a lovely, fun way to encourage your child to work on their writing. You’ll want to take on the journal-writing duties at first, recording the details of books you share. As your child grows, give them opportunities to write the titles or author names.
Eventually they can take on writing up their reactions or thoughts on the books. This will encourage your child to develop their writing skills and self-expression. With a bit of luck, it may even fuel a habit of reflection and journaling that can support mental health, self-awareness, and deep thinking as they grow into young adults.
4. Create a Keepsake for the Future
One day, this journal can be a precious window into your child’s early years. Beyond the photos and report cards, a family reading journal can give a rare glimpse into their developing mind and heart. It will be a keepsake filled with the books that shaped their childhood, their budding opinions, their sense of humor, and your shared experience as a family.
Imagine your grown child flipping through your old reading journal, rediscovering the books you loved together. They may one day share these very same titles with their own children, reading aloud the stories that once filled your living room with laughter and wonder. The journal can become more than a personal memory—it can be a legacy, a bridge between generations built on shared stories and family traditions.
A huge part of my mission as an author and literacy advocate is connecting directly with readers—hearing your stories, learning about your challenges, and sharing practical strategies to help families raise strong, confident readers.
That’s why I’m so excited about my national virtual book club tour in celebration of the newly revised paperback edition of my book, Reading for Our Lives: The Urgency of Early Literacy and the Action Plan to Help Your Child.
This tour is about making the book’s messages—and me—accessible to communities everywhere. I know not every school, district, library, or nonprofit has the budget to bring me in as a keynote speaker or host a large in-person event. A virtual book club makes it possible to gather your people, dive into the ideas together, and still have me right there in the room with you—live, interactive, and affordable.
Why Host a Virtual Book Club?
When you host a session, you’re giving your constituency—families, staff, or volunteers—tools they can use immediately. You’re helping them access simple, evidence-based strategies for preparing kids to thrive as readers. You’re also amplifying your organization’s impact by positioning your literacy work as essential for school readiness, educational equity, and family well-being.
Here’s how it works:
- We start with a quick planning call to discuss your goals and customize your experience.
- You receive 25 paperback copies of Reading for Our Lives, plus a plug-and-play host kit with run-of-show, discussion guide, and promo assets.
- We come together for a 60-minute live virtual Q&A—not a lecture—where I answer candid questions and tailor my advice to your community’s context.
Parents and staff get the book ahead of time, so they can arrive informed and armed with questions to help them adapt it to their specific needs. This helps them leave empowered with concrete next steps. The outcomes we aim for are lasting: stronger confidence, usable literacy routines, and momentum that extends well beyond one event.
What Hosts Are Saying
After hosting a virtual book club, Claire Hagan Alvarado of Literacy First said, “The feedback was great. People really enjoyed the conversation. It felt really personable and … really challenged our group to extend our impact.”
And Jill Gonzalez of the Women’s Storybook Project of Texas shared, “The book club experience was fantastic. Having the author with us made such a difference. It is different when you get to speak to the person who wrote the words, when you get to have the perspective of the expert.”
An Invitation
I wrote Reading for Our Lives because I believe every child deserves a strong start with words, stories, letters, and language. And while the literacy crisis and achievement gaps can feel daunting, the solutions start close to home—with parents, caregivers, and communities taking small, daily actions that add up to big change.
If you’re ready to elevate your impact and help equip caregivers to help kids thrive as readers, I’d love to explore joining your group for a virtual book club. Together, we can turn insights into action and build the momentum every child deserves.
Children encounter thousands of unique words in elementary school reading programs each year. But here’s the catch: unless they can recognize most words instantly—without sounding them out—they’ll exhaust their mental energy on matching sounds to letters and have little left for actually understanding what they read.
So how do kids develop rapid word recognition skills and become more fluent readers—and how can parents help?
How Children Actually Learn Words
Contrary to popular belief, children don’t learn words by visually memorizing them. Instead, they build word knowledge through varied experiences with different features of words: spelling, pronunciation, and meaning. Research suggests it takes one to six meaningful encounters with a word for children to truly master it.
Notice I say “experiences,” not just “exposures.” Simply seeing a word in passing isn’t enough. Children need to actively pay attention to the word, notice the letters within it, think about the sounds that make it up, and understand what it means.
The TALK Method for Everyday Vocabulary Building
Parents can easily build their child’s word knowledge in everyday life using the TALK method.
This is a framework I crafted to help parents incorporate more brain-building interactions into days with small kids and increase the quality of interactions. (You can learn more about it and get other science-based tips in my book, Reading for Our Lives.)
The TALK Method encourages parents—and all early caregivers—to use four simple tools to create rich language- and brain-building interactions with kids:
- Taking turns
- Asking questions
- Labeling and pointing
- Keeping the conversation going
The key to using the TALK Method as a reading fluency strategy is listening to children to discover which words spark their interest, then seizing those natural teaching moments. When kids show curiosity about a word, half the battle—capturing their attention—is already won.
Taking Turns: A Real Example
I’ll give you an example. I dropped into a chair in my daughter’s room the other day, sighed heavily, and declared that I was weary.
“What’s that mean?” she asked.
“Extremely tired,” I replied.
She nodded, then said she thought it meant something else. She put on a frightened face, darting her eyes side to side like she was watching for the boogeyman. (She has a flair for the dramatic.)
“Ohhh,” I laughed, “that’s wary—when you’re on guard, scanning for danger. I said weary. W-E-A-R-Y. It’s like wary but with an ‘e’ before the ‘a.’”
In that brief exchange, we hit all three essential elements of word learning:
- Sound: We both pronounced the word, and I clarified the vowel sound difference.
- Spelling: I spelled out W-E-A-R-Y, emphasizing the letter difference between “weary” and “wary.”
- Meaning: We explored both her misunderstanding and my clarification.
Asking Questions to Deepen Learning
To strengthen word knowledge further, ask questions about meaning:
- “What are some words similar to this one?”
- “What are some words that are opposite to this one?”
You can also prompt sound analysis:
- “How many sounds do you hear in the word weary?”
- “Can you break out each sound?”
- “Can you blend them back together?”
Labeling and Pointing: Don’t Forget the Visual
While verbal discussion is crucial, also tie words to what children see in print. Look at the word while asking children to segment it or compare it to similar words. Point to words in meaningful contexts—in stories, on shopping lists, signs, billboards, or everyday items in your environment.
And don’t forget that you can create the text you want to talk about as well. The weary discussion might have made a greater impression if I’d written the word down so she could see it while saying it. But I’m sure she saw it in her mind’s eye.
Keeping the Conversation Going
Expand, extend, and ask for clarification. Do whatever helps the word stick in your child’s memory.
Tell a story about the word. (Did you misuse it when you were younger? Do you remember how you learned the word?) Recount its history. Share tidbits about word origins. (Is it a word that’s close to French and came into the language after the Norman conquest of England? A word that’s been adapted from technology or business uses?)
Subscribing to word-of-the-day emails or apps is a great way to pick up some fun knowledge to share.
Match Your Approach to Your Child’s Reading Phase
Your child’s reading development phase determines which activities will be most effective:
For kids who don’t know or are just learning the ABCs (called pre-alphabetic and partial alphabetic readers):
- Build vocabulary: Use rich, varied words in conversation and explain their meanings.
- Play with sounds: Try rhyming games, clapping out syllables, and identifying beginning sounds in words.
- Teach letters systematically: Practice one letter at a time—for example, tell your child, “A says /a/ like in apple” and trace the letter shape with your finger.
For children who know letter names, shapes, and common sounds (called alphabetic readers):
- Introduce new words: Continue expanding vocabulary through conversation and reading together.
- Practice sound segmentation: Help your child break words into individual sounds. (For example, ask, “What sounds do you hear in cat?” Learn more in my post about sound awareness.)
- Connect sounds to letters: Show how the sounds they hear match the letters they see.
- Read words in context: Point out target words when reading stories, signs, or everyday text together.
Growing with Your Child
These vocabulary conversations evolve as children mature. My eighth-grader and I still actively discuss words—our chats have just become more sophisticated as her vocabulary grows.
During one car ride, she puzzled over two uses of “blunt” in her novel—one describing a person, the other a dull object. She was fascinated that a single word could carry such different meanings.
Another time, driving through our always-under-construction neighborhood, I complained that “No Thru Traffic” signs were used too liberally.
“What does that mean?” she asked, referring to my new-to-her use of liberally.
“Too much,” I replied.
“Why does it mean that?” she followed up, thinking about the ways the words liberal and conservative are used in political contexts.
“Oh,” she went on, answering her own question, “like the opposite of conservatively. If they used the signs conservatively, they would be conserving them, not using so many.”
Exactly!
Why These Quick Conversations Matter
Research confirms that fluent readers must connect three elements about words: sound, spelling, and meaning. Rather than memorizing words by sight alone, children build deeper word knowledge when they pronounce words, understand their letter sequences, and explore their meanings in context.
When children first learn to read, they painstakingly sound out every letter. But with experience, familiar words become instantly recognizable. That automatic recognition frees mental energy for comprehension—the very purpose of reading.
This automaticity is crucial. When children don’t waste mental energy sounding out individual words (“decoding”), they can focus their brainpower on understanding whole passages.
Studies confirm that good readers in elementary school acquire new words at a rate up to four times faster than struggling readers. Your vocabulary conversations aren’t just helping your child learn individual words. They’re also building the foundation for accelerated vocabulary growth throughout their academic years.
Research shows that skilled readers don’t just know more words—they recognize them faster. High-ability readers process words in about 746 milliseconds compared to 871 milliseconds for lower-ability readers. That split-second difference adds up, giving skilled readers an edge in comprehension and confidence.
Parents’ goal should be to help our kids’ vocabulary grow until they can instantly recognize nearly anything we put in front of them. See every opportunity to talk with kids about words as a chance to build the automatic word recognition that makes reading effortless and enjoyable.
Without this foundation, children tire themselves out decoding and lose energy for understanding—the ultimate prize.
At a recent “Science Café” at the YWCA Southeast Wisconsin’s OECI Office in Milwaukee, I skipped the stats and studies. These gatherings aim to spark dialogue on science or medicine, but I opened my discussion of the science of reading with stories—my own path to reading, and an invitation for parents to reflect on theirs.
Why? Because what truly motivates parents to act on behalf of their children isn’t data—it’s feelings. The strong desire to nurture a bright reading future for our kids often stems from our own reading experiences, whether joyful or painful.
All Reading Memories Matter
Many writers get nostalgic about their love of books—cherished stories, favorite authors, endless hours in libraries. I’m no exception. In my book, Reading for Our Lives, I share how reading shaped me so deeply that, like my parents before me, I named my daughter after an author.
But not every reading memory is so fond. Many parents recall the sting of stumbling through a passage in class, the ache of leaving book fairs empty-handed, or the frustration of staring at words that just wouldn’t make sense.
But the good news is: Whatever your story, it can fuel your child’s in a good direction.
Take a moment to remember: Was reading easy for you? Hard? What emotions surface—joy, shame, pride, isolation, excitement? Then ask yourself: What feelings do I want my child to carry into their future? Twenty years from now, how do I hope they’ll describe their journey?
With those answers in mind, you can begin shaping experiences that move them in that direction—choosing the books, planning the library visits, weaving conversation into daily life. You don’t control every step of their journey, but you have more influence than you may realize. Small, intentional choices add up to lasting impact.
If reading was hard for you, that struggle can spark vigilance—watching closely for difficulties, seeking resources early, and ensuring your child gets help you may not have had. This matters, especially since challenges like dyslexia can run in families.
And if you loved reading, you can pass on that joy—recreating the warmth of shared stories and library visits—while remembering your child’s journey will look different, shaped by new times, new tools, and their own personality.
The Gift of Struggle
Every reader—child or adult—faces challenges along the way. What matters is how we frame those moments.
Struggle, effort, and frustration are not detours in your child’s literacy journey. They’re the very path to growth. And when those moments come, your own reading story becomes a powerful tool for connection and encouragement.
Pam Allyn, a longtime educator and literacy advocate, put it this way in a podcast: “I make time every day to struggle as a reader, and that’s because I’m a confident reader.” Her insight reveals that reading confidence isn’t the absence of struggle, but the willingness to face it.
That’s why your reading history matters. When your child stumbles through a passage or grows frustrated with a new book, share more than your love of reading or your hopes for your child. Share your own confusion, your persistence, and your eventual breakthroughs. By revealing both your reading struggles and your growth, you model resilience. You show that difficulty isn’t shameful—it’s simply part of every reader’s journey.
And when you acknowledge and honor your child’s feelings—frustration, fear, excitement—you validate their experience and give them courage to continue. In doing so, you help them see effort not as a barrier, but as a bridge to strength.
What Research Tells Us
Studies confirm what experience suggests: parents’ literacy histories shape how they support their children. For some, early reading struggles spark determination. For others, those struggles erode confidence, leaving them unsure of how to help.
How parents feel about reading also matters. If you see it as entertainment, you may focus on joy and fun. If you view it as a skill, you may emphasize practice and progress. If you see it as an opportunity, you may seek out schools, libraries, and enrichment programs. Each approach is shaped by personal history and perspective.
The key is awareness. Reflect on your own story:
- Your early childcare or preschool experiences
- Your formal education from kindergarten onward
- Your family’s literacy traditions
- Any mismatch between your school’s approach to literacy and your home environment
All of these threads weave together into your current outlook and, consciously or not, influence how you guide your child.
I know this firsthand. My own love of literature, being named after an author, and later naming my daughter after one all contributed to the intensity I brought to raising her as a reader. My history shaped my priorities.
The question, then, is not whether your literacy story influences you—it does. The question is: Will you let it guide you unconsciously, or will you use it intentionally? The more aware you are, the more you can choose to replicate positive experiences, rewrite negative ones, and create a reading journey for your child that builds both skill and joy.
Your reading story, with all its triumphs and struggles, is a gift ready to be unpacked and shared.
Get Reading for Our Lives: The Urgency of Early Literacy and the Action Plan to Help Your Child
Learn how to foster your child’s pre-reading and reading skills easily, affordably, and playfully in the time you’re already spending together.
Get Reading for Our Lives
Don’t let visions of the “perfect” read-aloud get in the way of the joys of actual read-alouds.
That thought echoed in my mind during a Reading for Our Lives virtual book club with the staff and volunteers from Women’s Storybook Project in Austin, Texas. This remarkable organization records incarcerated moms reading books aloud, then delivers the books and recordings to their children. Hearing their mothers’ voices creates a vital thread of connection—a bridge across the physical and emotional distance of incarceration.
During the gathering, I was deeply moved by how many hands, hearts, and minds collaborate to make this mission possible. So much effort, fundraising, organization, and leadership is required to deliver a semblance of the read-aloud experience that many parents take for granted.
I was honored to share my raise-a-reader journey with the team’s staff and volunteers and answer their questions about Reading for Our Lives. The goal: To share practical tips, research insights, and solutions to common read-aloud challenges, empowering them to better support the moms they record and the caregivers who share the books and recordings with the kids. Through their efforts, caregivers create reading rituals that offer comfort and consistency by delivering their moms’ voices to children whose mothers can’t be with them physically. At the same time they foster back-and-forth conversation as they share the stories.
Sadly, the deep love and effort I witnessed at Women’s Storybook Project stands in stark contrast to broader trends. New research from HarperCollins UK reported that today’s parents are falling out of love with reading aloud. Just 41% of kids under 4 years old are read to regularly, down from 64% in 2012. And only 40% of parents say reading aloud is fun for them—let alone for the kids. That’s a serious problem, because research shows that frequent parent read-alouds impact how much kids read on their own later, as well as how well the kids learn to read and how much they enjoy it.
And yet, even as many families pull back from reading aloud, others are doing everything they can to hold on to it. When you see the lengths some parents go to connect through books while behind bars, it puts things in perspective. The care. The effort. The vulnerability. Suddenly, the typical excuses for skipping story time lose steam. Our parental fatigue (though real) feels lighter, busy schedules seem less daunting, and waiting for the perfect moment feels a little indulgent in this context. Moms in the Women’s Storybook Project read to counteract some of the emotional insecurity, stigma, social isolation, and other devastating effects of family separation.
In the book club, we explored everything from how to engage middle schoolers who’ve lost interest in books to reading with babies and multilingual learners. The questions reflected the real-life complexity—and beauty—of supporting literacy in all kinds of families. Addressing these questions reminded me vividly that we truly need one another. We rely on a community of support to cultivate the literacy and language skills that all our children need to thrive.
Too often, parenting media paints an idyllic picture of family literacy—cozy bedtime stories, peaceful children on laps, fireplaces crackling in the background. But that image simply isn’t the reality for many families, for many reasons. I’m a sleepyhead who gladly delegated bedtime stories to my husband, choosing other moments in the day to share books with our daughter. If I’m honest, I spent more time thinking about writing about raising readers than actually reading with my daughter when she was little. Good intentions, faulty follow-through. Too often, I waited for the “perfect” book or “right” moment, missing the ample opportunities already within reach.
My book club conversation with the Women’s Storybook Project reinforced for me the importance of embracing the imperfect, yet deeply meaningful work of nurturing literacy.
Let the organization’s stories remind you: the perfect moment may never come, but with intent you can make the time to read anyway. It’s not too late, too little, or too hard. Anytime you can share builds your child’s brain and your family bond.
Recently, I had the joy of chatting with Joe Donahue on WAMC/NPR’s beloved show The Roundtable. Joe has a real gift for asking thoughtful questions and creating space for meaningful conversation—our interview felt less like a media hit and more like a cozy chat over coffee.
If you haven’t listened to The Roundtable before, I highly recommend it. The show regularly dives into the kinds of big, important topics that matter deeply to families, educators, and communities. In our conversation, we unpacked one of my life’s biggest passions: giving parents the tools and confidence to raise strong readers from the very beginning.
Here are some of the key ideas I shared during our talk…
When my daughter was born, I couldn’t stop thinking about the headlines. Again and again, I read stories about America’s low reading achievement—especially among black children and children from low-income families. It didn’t sit right with me. Not because I doubted the data, but because I knew it wasn’t the children who were the problem. So I did what I do best: I dug in. As a journalist, I went in search of answers. As a mother, I was desperate for solutions. What I found changed the course of my parenting—and eventually my career.
Reading doesn’t begin in kindergarten. It begins at birth.
We often talk about learning to read as something that starts when children enter school. But the truth is, the groundwork is laid much earlier—long before that first day of kindergarten. Reading is built on a foundation of talking, playing, pointing, and listening that begins in infancy. In fact, studies show that the number of back-and-forth conversations children experience between 18 and 24 months strongly predicts their vocabulary skills years later.
So yes, bedtime reading is wonderful. But literacy-building doesn’t end there—and it doesn’t require a book in hand. Every diaper change, every grocery store trip, every cuddle on the couch is an opportunity to build your child’s brain. The secret? Your words.
You’re not “just” a parent—you’re your child’s first and most important literacy teacher.
Here’s something I want every parent to hear and believe: You are a literacy leader. From the start. Not later. Not when your child enters school. Right now.
You don’t need a teaching degree to prepare your child to read. You need attention, intention, and love. Gentle teaching—through play, conversation, and shared routines—makes all the difference.
Say the names of foods as you cook. Point out letters on the cereal box. Narrate your day like you’re hosting a podcast just for your baby. When your toddler babbles or your preschooler asks “why” for the hundredth time, lean in. You’re not just surviving the moment—you’re building vocabulary, background knowledge, and brain architecture that supports reading down the road.
Let’s take the pressure off and make learning light.
When people hear the word “instruction,” they often picture a desk, a workbook, and a whiteboard. But for young children, the best teaching doesn’t look like school—it looks like you.
It’s silly voices during storytime. It’s clapping out syllables while dancing in the kitchen. It’s pointing out that “S” curves like a snake or that “M” has mountains. It’s tuning into the sounds around you—truck beeps, dog barks, rhyming songs—and helping your child hear and play with language.
I call this the TALK method:
Take turns
Ask questions
Label and point
Keep the conversation going
It’s a simple way to remember that the best learning happens through warm, responsive interaction. Not drills. Not flashcards. Just life, spoken out loud.
Start now. And if you’re concerned, speak up.
Some parents worry: What if my child isn’t where they should be?
My advice: trust your instincts. Write down your observations. Check developmental milestones (the CDC’s free tracker is a great tool). Bring up concerns at doctor visits. The earlier we notice challenges—especially with language or sound awareness—the earlier we can get support.
Don’t wait until a report card or a reading score makes the problem “official.” Start paying attention now. Ask questions. Be proactive. (See How to Assess Your Child’s Development & When to Seek Help for more tips.)
Because here’s the thing: reading skills are harder to build later. Research shows that kids who start kindergarten behind in vocabulary and letter knowledge have a tough road ahead. But the good news? The building blocks are simple, doable, and already within your reach.
You’re not late. You’re right on time.
So let’s raise readers together—not with stress and pressure, but with storytime, sidewalk signs, silly songs, and a whole lot of heart.
Looking for a rewarding, flexible side hustle that fits into your child’s school schedule? Substitute teaching might be the opportunity for you.
Whether you’re a stay-at-home parent looking to re-enter the workforce, a part-time worker in need of supplemental income, or in between jobs, subbing can provide extra income while allowing you to support your local schools.
“I like the flexibility and I like that it fits into the hours of school for my kids, so I can take them to their after-school activities,” said Elke, a mom I know who substitutes in her children’s schools. “I think it’s a great side hustle for moms. I’m surprised more moms don’t do it.”
Here’s a primer on some basics to know about becoming a substitute teacher and why it can be a great part-time job for parents.
Why Become a Substitute Teacher?
Substitute teaching offers a nice combination of flexibility, purpose, and income. Unlike many jobs, subbing generally allows you to set your own schedule and working location.
The districts I know about let substitutes choose when and where they work, making it easy to align with your child’s school schedule, your commute preferences, and your other obligations.
Substitutes can generally choose the days they want to work and say yes or no to specific assignments. In many districts, subs can see available assignments online or in an app each day and choose one that fits their preferences—or opt not to work that day.
Only want to work in your own child’s school, on campuses that are within five minutes of your home, or in certain grades? That should be an option in most cases, although some districts do require subs to work a certain number of days or be available to work in all schools. (In San Francisco, for example, subs are supposed to work at least five days during their first semester.)
Many parents opt to substitute outside their kids’ schools or districts, too. Besides opening up more work, this can give you great perspective and a valuable chance to compare your child’s school with others. One parent on X described substituting in a “no phones” school and seeing how much kids benefitted, compared to her own kids’ school, where phones were everywhere.
Subbing is a meaningful job—you’re helping maintain continuity in students’ education and a positive environment while teachers are away. It’s also a great way to dip your toes in if you’re interested in pursuing a teaching career down the line.
Benefits of Substitute Teaching as a Side Hustle
- Flexible Schedule: Work only on the days you’re available.
- Same Hours as Your Child’s School Day: Depending on where you sub and the age of your kid(s), you shouldn’t need childcare to take this gig. You may just need to arrange drop-off or pick-up for your child, unless you only take sub jobs at their school.
- Opportunity to Get Involved: Be present in your child’s school and community. It’s like volunteering, but you get paid! “It’s a good way to get to know who your kid is friends with and see what’s going on at their school,” Elke said.
- Make a Difference: The school years are crucial in children’s lives and in shaping the next generation. Your contribution to educating, supporting, and protecting them is vital.
- No Work to Take Home: Unlike full-time teachers, substitutes typically don’t have to do grading or lesson planning after hours.
- Extra Income: Earn money without the commitment of a full-time job.
How to Become a Substitute Teacher
To see if your district is hiring, visit the district’s website and look for a “Careers,” “Employment,” or “Human Resources” section. Many districts also post openings for substitute teachers on job boards like Indeed or EdJoin (used heavily in California). You can also call your district’s HR department or main office.
All states and school districts have their own requirements for substitute teachers, but here are some common expectations:
- Education: You may or may not need a college degree to substitute. For example, applicants in California at the time of writing must either (a) have a bachelor’s degree or (b) be enrolled in college and demonstrate mastery of reading, writing, and math basics. They can demonstrate mastery through coursework, SAT scores, or by passing the California Basic Educational Skills Test. Some states may also require college credits in education or a related field.
- Certification: You may need a substitute teacher permit or license from your state, which may involve a short training program or exam.
- Background Check: You’ll need to pass a criminal background check and likely a fingerprinting process.
- Health Requirements: There may be health-related requirements to work in the schools. For example you may need to show a negative TB test or a waiver from a healthcare provider.
- References or Letters of Recommendation: Some districts require these, along with an online job application.
Check your local school district’s website or state educational department to learn about specific requirements in your area.
How Much Do Substitute Teachers Earn?
Pay rates for substitutes vary by location and school district. In my California school district, substitute teachers earn $250 per day, while in nearby San Francisco they get upwards of $325 a day.
Some districts offer higher pay for long-term assignments or for those with teaching certifications. In my district, subs get an extra $30 per day after 30 days in a classroom, while San Francisco offers almost $40 extra per day after 10 days in a class. There may also be bonuses for teachers who work more than a certain number of days in a semester.
Subbing can provide a nice stream of supplemental income on your terms, and the flexibility means it may even be possible to balance it with other part-time work or higher education.
What’s a Typical Day Like as a Substitute?
As a substitute teacher, your day will depend on the school and grade level you’re assigned to.
In some cases, you’ll follow a lesson plan left by the regular teacher. Other times, you’ll just supervise as kids log into Google classroom or other digital platforms to find their work for the day. You may even need to get creative sometimes, if you get limited direction from the teacher.
Some days will be easy—students will be engaged and cooperative. Other days may be more challenging, requiring patience and resourcefulness to manage distractible kids. This is where parents may have an edge. After all, you’ve been managing your own kids at home for years!
Here’s a rough outline of what to expect:
- Morning: Arrive early, check in at the office, and review lesson plans.
- Classroom Time: Supervise work or teach lessons, assist students, and maintain a safe, positive classroom environment.
- Breaks and Lunch: Bring a lunch to eat in the teacher’s lounge or common area, and use your break time to plan for the afternoon.
- Afternoon: Continue teaching, guide students through activities, and leave notes for the returning teacher. Unlike regular teachers, a substitute’s day ends when the school day is over, and you more or less get to go home when the kids do!
How Are Substitute Teachers Evaluated?
Substitute teachers are mostly evaluated informally, and that starts when you walk in the door. Office staff, teachers, aides, and administrators will notice if you’re friendly, professional, and on time.
People also notice how you manage the classroom, follow instructions, and interact with the class, advises a staffing agency. If you’re shouting across the room or your class gets wild enough to disrupt others, it may get back to the principal. Even how you act during lunch or in the hallway matters. Students also impact how you’re perceived—kids will talk about their day to their regular teacher and parents, and their feedback often gets passed along.
Principals may not be watching you directly, but they hear what’s going on from everyone else. Some districts also have systems to collect formal feedback or evaluations of substitutes. Don’t stress too much, though—simply treating kids and adults courteously and being responsible can go a long way to making a good impression. So be friendly, come prepared, follow the rules, stay flexible, and show that you can keep your cool even if things don’t go as expected.
Tips for Success as a Substitute Teacher
- Be Flexible: Be open to different grade levels and subjects—variety keeps things interesting! Most of all, respond to the circumstances. If your class is unruly or disengaged, be ready to change your plan and shake it up.
- Arrive Early: Give yourself time to review lesson plans and get settled. It’s also nice to have time to use the bathroom or get a drink of water before the students arrive.
- Prepare a Backup Plan: Have a few educational activities in case the teacher’s lesson plans are unclear, incomplete, or nonexistent. It’s worthwhile to have some enriching, fun ideas up your sleeve. Just avoid hot-button issues or sensitive topics. You can even use a little time to pay it forward to the main teacher. Principal Zac Bauermaster suggests subs take time “off script” to have kids write their teacher notes of appreciation.
- Stay Calm and Confident: Classroom management can be tough, but maintaining a firm yet friendly attitude helps. Remember, it’s just one day and sticking to a lesson plan is not a life-or-death requirement. Whatever grade you’re in, they’re still kids. Keep your cool and model grown-up behavior. Elke offered up some veteran mom wisdom that’s served her as a sub: “Keeping a level head and being respectful even when they’re not is really helpful.”
- Bring Your Sense of Humor: Kids can give substitute teachers a hard time. (Maybe you even did that when you were little!) Meanwhile, busy school staff may provide little information or support. And subs also have to face the unexpected, like last-minute changes. If you bring a sense of humor, it can help you roll with the punches. You’ll also have more fun. With a little luck, the kids will catch the mood, too!
- Build Relationships: Be friendly and get to know school staff and administrators when possible. (Just keep in mind they’re juggling a lot.) As you get to know them, they’ll be more likely to call you for future jobs and you’ll know who to ask for help when you sub.
- Embrace the Unexpected: Every day as a sub is different … much like parenting. Enjoy the adventure!
Preparing to Substitute Teach
Some districts provide short training sessions to familiarize substitute teachers with classroom management techniques and school policies.
Many don’t, however, so you may want to do a bit of prepping on your own. There are lots of online resources and social media accounts dedicated to sharing tricks of the teaching trade—although years of parenting may well be some of the best preparation, too.
Elke shared that her school district didn’t provide any training, so she just channeled her own school years alongside her parenting experience.
“I felt silly the first time I did it and I was standing in front of the classroom,” she recalled. “I thought, ok, I’m just going to act like a teacher!” It worked out, and she’s now a frequent sub in her children’s middle and high schools.
Is Substitute Teaching Right for You?
If you enjoy working with kids, have some patience, and can handle a bit of unpredictability, substitute teaching may be a fantastic side hustle.
“You need to be somebody who is independent and can figure it out on your own,” Elke advised. “It requires you to think on your toes and be flexible.”
Sounds a lot like being a parent to me!
If you’re up for it, substituting may be a great side gig to earn extra money while getting involved in your child’s school community. Plus, it offers the satisfaction of knowing you’re making a difference in students’ lives. Check with your local school district to see how you can get started.