by Josiah Brown
Learning new words is vital to your child’s success in school and life. A wide vocabulary will help your child understand written text more easily, not to mention communicate more fluently when they speak and write.
Your child will develop a lifelong habit of adopting new vocabulary words easily if they learn how to do it at a young age. Start by teaching them new words during your read-aloud sessions and story times.
Rather than making your child memorize new words and their definitions, though, focus on explicit vocabulary instruction—explaining what words mean and how to use them. Using this method, your child will retain new information more easily, and will also be able to incorporate newly-learned words in their speech more quickly.
How to Teach Your Child New Words
Just as rote memorization isn’t the best way for your child to learn how to spell, unthinking repetition does a poor job of helping children learn new words.
According to researchers, children learn best from explicit instruction that combines easy-to-understand definitions, fun vocabulary activities, and continuous exposure.
The vocabulary teaching method outlined below will help your child understand how words are used in real-life situations, as well as learn that words can have different meanings depending on how they’re used.
Teach Vocabulary in Context
Exposing your child more frequently to targeted vocabulary words increases the likelihood that they’ll understand and remember the new words, as well as use them more often, according to research compiled by the National Reading Technical Assistance Center.
The same research also concluded that teaching unfamiliar words directly during read-alouds enhanced children’s understanding of word meanings. “Using a contextual approach to instruction produced greater vocabulary gains than lessons that emphasized learning word definitions,” the report said.
After all, it makes sense. Will a small child understand the word unfortunate best if they memorize that it means “having or marked by bad fortune; unlucky; unfavorable or inauspicious”? Or will they understand it better if you read them a story about an “unfortunate” occurrence at school, as they view an illustration of a sad child and a sympathetic teacher?
Asking questions and engaging kids in wordplay and word exercises with the target vocabulary also lead to greater gains in learning. In the next section, we’ll go over some of the fun activities you can use to help your child master new words.
A Step-by-Step Guide to Teaching Kids Vocabulary
Use the following method to help your child understand, remember, and master new vocabulary.
1. Note unfamiliar words that your child encounters.
As you continue to read books to and with your children, take note of words your child doesn’t know. Jot down any unfamiliar words they come across in other settings, too—including during conversation, on TV, and in other kinds of reading material they encounter, such as signs or menus. Choosing words they’ve encountered will help them learn new words in context, which in turn reinforces their learning.
2. Come up with age-appropriate definitions.
When your child encounters a new word, come up with a definition of the word that your child will understand. If you’re having trouble, ask them to wait while you look up the dictionary definition, but don’t read it out to them. Instead, take a moment to rephrase the definition in a way you think they’ll get.
For example, if your child encounters the word joyful in a story where the main character is reunited with his lost dog, you might explain the word this way: “Tommy was joyful because he had found his long-lost dog. Joyful means you’re full of joy, which is happiness. So being joyful means you’re extremely happy.”
3. Explain vocabulary words with examples and counter-examples.
This is one of the most valuable steps for helping kids really understand new words. Explain the meaning and usage of the word with multiple examples.
In this case, you’d share some personal examples that they’ll connect with: “I’m joyful on summer days when we can go swimming in the pool. I’m also joyful on Christmas morning when we can open presents together.”
Then ask your child to point out situations that make them feel joyful. Ask them to use the word in a sentence to get more familiar with it.
Aside from giving examples of how the target word is used, also give counter-examples. You could point out that, while being reunited with a beloved pet is a joyful experience, losing a pet would be the opposite, a sad experience.
Then ask your child to share situations that are the opposite of joyful—situations that would make them feel sad or grieved. (Note the social-emotional learning opportunity here too!)
4. Revisit new words.
Return to new words later to fix them in your child’s memory, or repeat the definition when you encounter them again. Remind your child of the specific book or circumstances where they encountered that word.
For example, you could remind your child that they saw the word joyful in the story about Tommy. “Remember? Tommy felt joyful because he’d found Rover.”
5. Use fun activities to reinforce the word’s meaning.
Games and play will further reinforce the new word’s meaning and correct usage. Here are some easy word games to play with your child:
- Word associations – Ask your child, “What does the word joyful make you think of? What other words go with joyful?” Allow this game to get as playful and silly as you both like.
- Use their senses – Ask your child to describe what they saw, tasted, felt, smelled, or heard in a joyful situation. This game also encourages creativity and thinking analytically.
- Describe a word in pictures – Ask the child, especially younger kids, to describe the word in pictures. E.g., ask your child to draw situations that make them feel joyful. This contextual approach reinforces the meaning and usage of the word in a way that’s light and fun.
- Play word board games – Play word games like charades, vocabulary Pictionary, and vocabulary bingo to help your child master new words. Include words you’ve taught in previous weeks to reinforce the learning.
Also, check out the family activities published on this site for lots of activities designed to build and reinforce children’s vocabulary knowledge, from word games and crafts to easy-read recipes.
6. Teach unusual and challenging words, along with everyday vocabulary.
As you select words to focus on with your child, it’s helpful to know that educators think of vocabulary as falling into three general buckets. This can be a useful framework for parents as well:
- Basic vocabulary words that pop up frequently in everyday speech. Children learn these words primarily through conversation. Examples include baby, clock, phone, rain, dog, and happy.
- Sophisticated, high-frequency words that kids aren’t as likely to learn naturally, because they’re typically found in written texts and adult conversations. These words are also more likely to have multiple meanings. Examples include masterpiece, industrious, benevolent, and unfortunate.
- Low-frequency words found in specific disciplines and occupations, such as technology, medicine, and academia. Examples include isotope and amino acid.
When choosing vocabulary words to teach your child, you may want to focus on words in the second group, as they’re simultaneously challenging and widely useful.
Ready to dive deeper? For more vocabulary activities and word-learning strategies, check out the book Bringing Words to Life. We also like Once Upon a Word: A Word-Origin Dictionary for Kids for digging into how word meanings develop over time.
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By Boshika Gupta
Choosing the right school for a child with special needs can feel like a daunting task, whether you’re not sure where to start or you’re sifting through numerous options for that perfect fit. Trying to figure out whether your child will feel supported and comfortable, where they’ll acquire challenging skills, and whether they’ll thrive may leave parents feeling overwhelmed.
However, a few simple and effective strategies can go a long way in helping you make the right choice for your student. Break your school search down into the six steps listed in this article, and you’ll be well on your way to taking the stress out of your decision.
Start with a School Wish List
When looking at schools for your child, start with a basic list of needs and wants for their educational environment. Write down your child’s preferences and brainstorm what they’ll need to be comfortable in school. Maybe your kid prefers a flexible learning approach and doesn’t enjoy following a structured style. Or perhaps your child likes to pick up new habits through observation and needs individual attention to finish a task. Identifying your child’s likes and dislikes will help you understand which options may work best.
This is also a good moment to think about what you and your child hope they’ll get out of their school experience. School is a place to learn and develop academic skills, but it’s also the hub for kids’ social and extracurricular lives. Research shows that kids with special needs often struggle to participate in school activities from clubs and sports to group projects and building meaningful friendships. Determining your priorities among the many elements of school experience is invaluable in weighing the options.
List the Choices (Public, Private, & Specialized Schools)
It’s important to understand that all U.S. states are required by law to provide free public education to students with special needs from 3 to 21 years old, and to assist them with “early intervention, special education, and related services.” What’s more, all public schools must work with families, teachers, and other staff to create customized learning plans for kids with special needs — aka Individualized Education Programs (IEPs). These should address the child’s specific needs and ensure close monitoring of their progress.
Talking to a school’s staff members about your child’s individual needs (or existing IEP) will give you more clarity and help you understand their approach to learning. You need to know whether a school can provide a well-structured plan that takes into account your child’s strengths and weaknesses.
Meanwhile, charter schools and private schools can offer alternative programs, smaller or more personalized environments, and more. There are also a plethora of specialized schools and programs tailored to specific needs and approaches. Keep in mind that the support for kids with special needs can look different at public vs private schools, and private schools may charge extra for certain types of support services. Be sure to ask plenty of questions to get clear about what’s on offer.
Search and ask around to discover all of the possibilities for your student, then make a full list of the options.
Evaluate the Options
While preparing a list of schools (public or private) that you’d like to consider for your child, take your time reading up about each program.
Factors to take into consideration include the specific techniques used by the staff members to help kids excel in the classroom, staff-to-student ratios, and the availability of assistive technology devices. Do they have a specific program that would work well for your child’s needs? Do they have staff members with diverse backgrounds who are equipped to handle challenging situations?
If the options seem overwhelming, one tip can help you cut to the chase: The only thing that really matters about your school choice is how well it fits your child’s needs at this point in time.
“Students with disabilities by definition have completely individualized and unique needs,” says Allison Gandhi, Vice President at the American Institutes for Research. “In special education, the most important kind of evidence is the data you have on your own students’ progress.” Gandhi argues that teachers should monitor the kids’ progress carefully and modify their teaching strategies based on their observations, so flexibility may be a factor.
Schedule a Visit
Once you’ve got a list of schools you’re interested in, it’s crucial to actually go to the schools in person. While this seems obvious, it’s easy to put it off, and many parents waste time considering schools that they could have crossed off their lists quickly after one site visit. Best is to go with your child — this will help you gauge their reaction to the school (and how people at the school react to them). You’ll get to observe them first-hand as you explore the facilities together and interact with staff members.
There’s no better way to find out what a school is really like. Walk its corridors, talk to the teachers, look inside its classrooms, observe its personnel and students, learn about the school’s approach to inclusion, and get a taste of everything in person.
Things to watch for during school visits:
- Pay attention to the details of the environment—comfort, amenities, even lighting.
- What are the classrooms like? Would the setting and interactions be a fit for your student?
- Note the students’ demeanor. Do they seem enthusiastic and relaxed? Engaged? Bored or unhappy?
- Note the teachers’ and staff members’ demeanor, as well.
- Is student work displayed? What does it tell you about the projects they’re working on?
Ask Questions
It’s normal to juggle doubts as you attempt to figure out whether a school will be able to cater to your child’s needs, ensuring they feel safe, supported, inspired, and whatever else you wish for them. You should feel free to ask as many questions as you like — experienced staff members and teachers will likely be happy to address your queries at length.
Take time to write out your questions before your visit, and don’t hesitate to follow up if you think of more questions later.
Some things to ask about:
- The school’s primary and support staff, including counselors
- Specifics of the curriculum and programs
- The total number of students in each class
- How they’ll work with you to come up with an individualized plan for your child
- Student outcomes
- How they resolve conflicts or difficult situations
Ask Around
In all your research, don’t forget to seek out other parents of children with special needs and find out what they think about a particular school. Word of mouth is a powerful tool: If many parents praise a school’s approach to tackling special needs education, their experiences will be more informative than generic rankings or lists.
Don’t isolate yourself by only talking to a school’s administrators and staff members, or you won’t get the full picture. Instead, make it a priority to find out what real families have experienced at your target schools. Dive into detailed reviews if available, but remember there are many other ways to get parent feedback. Post questions in online forums, ask in neighborhood groups and on social media, comb your network for contacts, and get creative in connecting with relevant families.
Then ask everyone you find about the accommodations, tutoring styles, and learning tools available at different schools, as well as the overall environment. Ask about their personal experiences, preferences, doubts, and impressions.
Choosing a school for a child with special needs doesn’t have to be stressful, when you have the right tools and reach out for support when you need it.
Raising a special needs child? Contact Maya to share your tips or let us know what resources would be helpful.
Welcome to the August edition of Smart Story Time!
Keeping new material in the mix helps make family reading time fresh for your child (and you), as well as introducing them to new subjects and vocabulary. That’s why at MayaSmart.com we curate some of our best suggestions for timely reading each month.
We hope this inspires you to spend some time reading with your child this month—whether in the library, on a picnic, in the kitchen, or even while shopping.
Here are some ideas for what to read with your child this month:
Picture Books for Starting School
The time is fast approaching: The sound of new zippers rings out and the smell of sharpened pencils fills the air. It’s back to school! Whether it’s your child’s first year in school or they’re an old pro, a new school year can be daunting. But don’t worry! There’s something that can help ease their worries and spark some enthusiasm for their upcoming year—books.Early childhood educator Chrysta Naron recommends a selection of picture books that help kids get ready to start school. These books are special because they cover a wide range of first-day-of-school experiences. In their pages, we meet children just starting out, moving from a new country, expressing their creativity, and celebrating their names (not to mention an adorable cat and one very stressed-out pigeon). Whatever your little one’s circumstances, these picture books about starting school are sure to help guide your child into a less-stressed and happier beginning to the school year.
Funny Kids’ Books
What’s black and white and “read” all over?
Contributor Andrea Hunt’s roundup of funny books for kids, of course. (You didn’t guess that, did you?) August 16th is National Tell a Joke Day, so indulge in the healing power of laughter—plus discover all the ways that some rib-tickling reads can make reading together more fun, encourage reluctant readers, set the scene for learning, and even help kids regulate emotions or navigate challenges.Then, if you and your child are up for a creative challenge, build on your comical story time by working together to write and illustrate your own funny tale. Or, for pre-writers or reluctant writers/artists, keep it light and just engage in some humorous oral storytelling.
Menus, Signs, Clothes, and More (Not Kidding)
August is traditionally vacation month. If you’re taking some time off, look for creative ways to get in some reading with your kids. Read my post on working literacy into travel with kids, or check out our collection of Read-with-Me Recipes for some educational quality time during a staycation.
If you’re not on vacation, never fear! Take a few moments in the evening or over the weekend to make (and read) one of the recipes, and review our tips for maximizing story time to get the most out of the time you have available to read with your child.
And whenever you hit the stores (or internet) for back-to-school shopping, check out our tips for using writing on clothing to help kids learn to read. See? You really can work in literacy learning to everyday moments with your kids, no matter how busy or tired you may be. And feel free to message me with your questions or requests!
Anything Your Child Loves
In addition to bringing books into your family reading time that tackle timely topics or important subjects, be sure to follow your child’s interests, too. This keeps them engaged and helps you build a responsive relationship with your child. Check out our other kids’ book lists and articles for inspiration.
We’ll be back next month with the next installment of Smart Story Time. Meanwhile, feel free to message me with requests for future posts, book recommendations, or just to say hi!
What are you reading with your child this month? Scroll down to connect on social media & let me know!
Welcome to the new and improved MayaSmart.com! Here you can find all our fabulous articles, advice columns, book reviews, curated reading lists, literacy activities, crafts, recipes, and more—newly organized for easy browsing and searching.
Sort blog posts by the age groups they’re relevant to, from babies & toddlers, preschoolers, or young readers to tween, teen, or adults. Or poke around in our dozens of themed collections. You’ll find collections of books for kids and adults, of course, but that’s just the beginning.
We also have collections organized by topic, like social emotional, diversity & inclusion, or personal development… By type, like family activities or seasonal posts… And even by the literacy skill they support, like letters & sounds, spelling, or vocabulary.
There’s also a section with information about upcoming and past events, from my speaking engagements to book clubs, workshops, and (coming soon!) parenting courses. And you can learn about my book, Reading for Our Lives: A Literacy Action Plan from Birth to Six and how to pre-order it.
You can also become a VIP—very intentional parent, that is—and opt in to my free library of fun downloads, including literacy printables, seasonal crafts, games, and more to help you raise your reader!
I invite you to explore the new site and join me on my mission to increase literacy for all. Together, we can raise a generation of readers and construct a brighter future.
It’s my fervent hope that this new website will be a helpful source of evidence-based advice, ideas, and inspiration for parents. Got ideas of something you’d like to see on the site or resources you’d find useful? Let me know!
A big thank you, too, to our wonderful web team at Glide Design for translating my vision into a beautiful, user-friendly website that will help more parents and caregivers raise thriving readers.
It was a stroke of genius to name children’s author Meg Medina as the Library of Congress’s official national ambassador for young people’s literature. The ambassador, selected by the Library of Congress, the Children’s Book Council, and the Every Child a Reader Foundation, travels the country, engaging communities in kids’ books and reading. Medina has long been a national treasure—the consummate book lover, book talker, and book sharer. When I was a new mom, more than a decade ago, I loved her children’s books, but was even more inspired by the passion and brilliance with which she spoke about the power of books to forge empathy and connection among us all. Her new position elevates her work and philosophy of literary citizenship, sharing her gifts with an even wider audience. And her new title got me thinking that parents, too, are literature ambassadors—or should be.
I sat down with her to talk about the ambassador role and her work to inspire the next generation of readers. Below are four of her tips for helping kids learn to love books and building literary community for your little one. Watch the video of our chat below for a taste of the signature candor, wit, and wisdom Medina’s known for.
Let Kids Choose Books
Many parents, especially those who are avid readers themselves, have specific ideas (err, “high” expectations) about what their kids should be reading. And that’s not all bad, but it may be more helpful longterm to keep an open mind and allow ample space and opportunity for them to voice their own reading preferences. When kids have input on what they read and what’s read to them, they become more invested in books and reading, she advises.
Medina had three children who were all very different kinds of readers. One daughter read well and widely, a son favored nautical adventure stories, and another daughter leaned toward Disney books and People magazine. “I remember feeling very embarrassed buying them,” Medina recalls of her eldest’s reading picks. “Like I wanted her to be reading the books with the pretty little [award-winner] seals on them and books that someone else told me were worthy.” But over time, she discovered that those pop tales aided her daughter’s reading development. The familiar characters and plots boosted her affinity for the stories, supported her reading comprehension, and motivated her to read more and more.
“There’s a really affirming feeling when a child can pick a book,” she explains. “Maybe it’s the cover. Maybe it’s that his friend told him it was a great book. Maybe he saw something about it on TV or a poster or maybe he likes the color blue and the book is blue. It really doesn’t matter. What really matters is that the child is invested in the choice. And I think we should allow for that.”
“We hate to think of ourselves as obstacles to our kids’ reading, but sometimes we are,” she adds. “Or sometimes we say that’s not a book for you, or that’s a book for somebody else. And we create these roadblocks that are, I think, ultimately detrimental to reading.”
Sell Kids on Stories
Medina’s platform as the national ambassador for children’s literature is called Cuéntame, which roughly translates to “let’s talk books.” As she goes around the country during her two-year term, she’s focused on teaching different strategies for how we all can talk to each other about books—quickly. Her favored style of book talk is just a one- to two-minute teaser. Think of it like a commercial designed to hit the highlights of the story, characters, topic, and the reason for recommending it. She pitches five or six titles during the events and also invites students to share theirs. Her enthusiasm is infectious, as evidenced by the peels of laughter and eager chatter I witnessed during her literature ambassador stop at United Community Center in Milwaukee.
Parents can take a page out of her playbook by sharing startling facts or images, asking compelling questions (and waiting for the child’s response), and clearly stating what you LOVE in the story. For example, when pitching Lubna and Pebble by Wendy Meddour, Medina opened by talking about how friends can help us through hard times or to feel less lonely, something the kids in the audience could relate to. Next she piqued their interest by asking a surprising, intriguing question: Can a pebble (a rock) be a friend? They shouted their responses. Then she previewed the beautiful story of a girl fleeing a war who finds a very special pebble. The book’s a “must-read”she told the students, because of how it explores important questions like: How do we hold onto our friends? How do we show that we care about them and that we love them? How do we hold onto hope? (Sidenote: Click here to see her reaction when I surprised her at the event.)
And a little salesmanship applies to talking up reading of all kinds—not just “literature,” she says. “Can you believe this?” is one of her go-to hooks to get kids’ attention when you want to share a passage from a newspaper, magazine, or other handy reading material. The question is a surefire way to hook your child’s attention—for a moment at least. Then it’s on you to deliver a news bite or funny passage to keep them engaged.
Leverage Libraries
Look to libraries for support on your raise-a-reader journey—and not only for the books, but for the shared experience of engaging with your community and broadening your horizons. She advises making library event listings a go-to resource for weekend activity ideas and also seeing what you can check out beyond books.
“When I travel around now to all the many libraries, there are so many great programs that are happening at the public library and sometimes really under attended,” Medina says. “I always want to remind people to check your library for the programs that they have around children, maker spaces, all of those things, because, as they come into the library they come in for one thing sometimes and then discover other interests as well and other things that draw them there.”
During her visit to the Nashville Public Library, she was impressed with its “library of things.” There, patrons can check out violins, gardening tools, blood pressure cuffs, and more. In Louisiana Parish, kids could check out toys and American Girl Dolls. “Libraries are figuring out how to position themselves in the lives of current children right now,” she says. “What are their interests? How do they spend their time? How can we maximize that and reach into literacy and into books with those things?”
Nurture Kids’ Literary Lives
According to Medina, reading books isn’t just about decoding text and understanding what’s happening. Rather, it’s an experience. It’s a reflection on the text and on our lives and the links and contrasts among them. When you discuss what you’re reading with others, that dynamic listening and sharing fosters human connection in real time and space, as well. “That’s one of the most powerful pluses of reading,” she says. “Yes, it completely helps us at school and there are practical reasons [for reading], but there’s this really essential human reason that we want kids to be able to read in community.”
Early in her career, Medina and fellow children’s author Gigi Amateau hosted a wonderful program called Girls of Summer, in collaboration with Richmond Public Library in Virginia that exemplified this spirit. I attended the annual event several times and loved hearing them pitch 18 of their favorite works—from picture books to young adult novels—that featured strong, compelling girl characters of diverse backgrounds and points of view. The fun, hands-on event featured food, prizes, and a festive vibe.
When parents bring kids to book celebrations and author talks, it can inspire the children to read widely and across many genres and experiences. Plus, it may empower them to do some writing of their own. “We had so many girls who would tell us, I’m writing a novel, I’m writing a picture book,” Medina recalls. “That’s the idea—reconnecting kids to their literary life. A literary life, when we say it that way, I worry that people think it’s very fancy and only for a certain group, but a literary life is you making sense of being human through print, through books, through things that make you think.”
What parent wouldn’t want to be an ambassador for that?
Check out the video below for insights into:
- Why book choices matter for kids
- What the National Ambassador for Children’s Literacy does for the Library of Congress and the nation
- How to talk about books in ways that make your little one want to dive in
- The importance of libraries for connecting readers to books and readers to readers
- What it means to cultivate a child’s literary life
Books referenced within the interview:
- Chrysanthemum, written and illustrated by Kevin Henkes
- Bob Books, by Lynn Maslen Kertell, illustrated by John R. Maslen and Sue Hendra
- Henry and Mudge, by Cynthia Rylant, illustrated by Suçie Stevenson
- Zoom at Sea, by Tim Wynne-Jones, illustrated by Eric Beddows
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Where do you turn for answers to your parenting questions, from lactation and nutrition to sleep training and self-care? Parents of young children have so many questions, and friends, family, pediatricians, and Google typically top the list of info sources. But generative artificial intelligence (AI) searches are on the rise, because of their novelty, ease of use, rapid responses, and personalization.
Ask Google a question and you’ll get inundated with page after page of search results. Ask a generative AI tool like ChatGPT a question and it’ll deliver a tidy, conversational (if not always accurate) response. The package is a bit more fun, and less overwhelming for sleep-deprived parents of littles.
And parents are using AI tools for more than just simple Q&A. They’re making product comparison charts for baby items, designing meal plans, and even generating personalized stories and illustrations. A student in my Reading Made Simple course told me he’s used ChatGPT to help him come up with simpler ways to explain things to his toddler. He types in what he wants to say and the machine tells him how to rephrase that for toddler comprehension. How’s that for a handy translation service?
Innovative AI Tools to Assist With Your Parenting Questions
There’s also lots of parent experimentation on the AI app development side as well. Tech founders and thought leaders (aka moms) are using AI in novel ways, including parsing big data sets to share relevant, actionable nuggets that would be hard and time-consuming to gather or navigate otherwise. They leverage natural language processing and artificial intelligence technology to aid parents’ decision-making and bolster quality of life.
Here are a few sites to watch:
- Reshma Saujani, founder of Girls Who Code and Moms First, has set up PaidLeave.ai to tell parents if they’re eligible for paid leave, how much money they can get, and how to submit their claims.
- Emily Oster, economist and ParentData founder, launched Zelma.ai to share state assessment data in ways parents can understand. Thanks to OpenAI’s GPT-4 language model, parents can type in questions in plain language and the digital research assistant responds with tailored text and visuals.
- Carly Buxton, founder of Nessle.com, created the AI-powered search engine to broaden parents’ networks, elevate parenting experts’ profiles, and connect the two to better support kids.
Importantly, the goal of these tools isn’t to replace human interaction with machine conversations. Rather, they’re all focused on giving parents easier ways to benefit from AI strengths—rapidly sifting through bottomless data—so that parents can get back to taking care of their little people. They aim to enhance the parenting journey, not outsource it.
How to Use AI to Reach Parenting Experts
Watch the video below to hear me chat with Buxton about how Nessle uses generative AI to filter the noise that overwhelms modern parents so they can get tailored help, not an onslaught of information.
In a nutshell, the “site offers an alternative for parents who have a question,” Buxton says. “They have a challenge and they don’t really feel like Googling or posting on Facebook and getting a million answers and anecdotes and opinions and outdated advice. We offer a place where parents can go, ask a question of our digital concierge, and we run it through an AI-powered algorithm and provide them with three suggestions of a path forward.” And, notably, all of the paths center on “talking to human beings.”
This sense of person-to-person connection was something Buxton sorely missed when having her first child in Boston, far from her friends and family in Virginia. “I was really lacking a support system and felt out of control of my own birth,” she recalls, “and I decided to dive into that entire industry and do something about it.” With a background in user research, she gravitated toward using technology as a way to connect parents with experts who offer parent support services, from coaching to support groups to other kinds of guidance.
Nessle’s still in its infancy, but a few promising elements stand out in Buxton’s approach.
- Personalization: Parents get the chance to share some info about their parenting style, kids’ ages, and ideal support expert (e.g., fairy godparent, science teacher, trusted big sibling, friend who makes me laugh) to inform Nessle’s search results. Plus, they can phrase their queries in everyday language. Think: My colicky baby just won’t let me sleep. I’ve tried everything! This freedom gives the search box the air of a confessional booth where a parent of a young child who needs to vent can offload their thoughts and worries without filtering.
- Manageable search results: The nonjudgemental algorithm processes the parent’s words to recommend just a few paths forward—people, experts, creators, or products who can help. Experts on the site offer in-person and virtual one-on-one coaching calls, support groups, courses, and more. From there, the parent can choose their next step. Search results are limited to the database of experts who’ve registered with Nessle so their strength will depend upon the match between what you seek and the experts’ specialties. Newborn care specialists outnumber tween/teen advisors, for example. As the expert count grows, though, the search results will improve in quality without overwhelming with quantity.
Watch my interview with Nessle founder Buxton to learn more about:
- How Nessle uses an AI-powered algorithm to analyze parents’ questions and match them with the most suitable experts, such as doulas, lactation consultants, or sleep coaches.
- Why Nessle prioritizes human interactions, connecting parents to professionals versus content or automated responses.
- The kinds of experts across parenting stages who are on Nessle.
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Wandering the halls of the high school I’d attended 25 years before, I was flooded with an enormous sense of gratitude. I remembered all the opportunities I got to lead, to serve, and to learn as a kid growing up in Akron, Ohio. I recalled the people who’d animated the classrooms and corridors of Case Elementary School, Litchfield Middle School, and Firestone High School. I remembered the experiences and relationships that made me. I thought, too, of my parents, who’d bought a home in the district in the 80s because of the good schools and who tirelessly shuttled me to and from every enrichment program known to man—for years.
I’d spoken to Stephanie Malia Krauss, the author of Whole Child, Whole Life, just the week before about how parents can help their kids find their passions. She made the point that parents’ investments in kids’ interests can be crucial for the children’s lifelong health and happiness. And she said that when parents are intentional about “allowing our kids to be exposed to and explore things that interest them, things that feel really good and enjoyable, we not only support their health, including their mental health and healing, but their learning and development.” Yet it took a stroll down memory lane to really bring home the point of how much exposure, exploration, and experiences matter.
Back in my hometown for my high school reunion, I remembered who I was in those formative years. I saw my present self anew, as a culmination of all that nascent becoming. I remembered memorizing and reciting poetry, writing art criticism, MCing the Green and Gold Revue, researching women’s undergarments for a senior project, starting a spirit team, plastering the school with posters declaring No Payne No Gain / Maya Payne for Student Council, joining PEACE (People Encouraging the Acceptance of Cultures Everywhere), and so much more. In retrospect, it’s clear that the freedom to pursue eclectic interests contributed immeasurably to the purpose—and wellness—I enjoy today.
Now, the question became, how should I let that realization inform my approach to my daughter’s interests, knowing that the trauma of Covid and the specter of tech and social media make her generation’s childhood experience considerably unlike my own?
Help Your Child Find Their Interests
Krauss advises that parents should follow childrens’ leads, while also keeping in mind that they need a certain level of exposure to different potential interests in the first place. Interests don’t fall from the sky, they grow from the seeds scattered about the rich spaces at home, in schools, in the community, in books, in media, and (yes!) online. Parents have to facilitate the circumstances that give kids a “chance to feel and see what they might be interested in,” she explains. “Kids can only lead to what they know is possible.”
Nurturing interests takes time and attention. Krauss offered the example of the years-long unfolding of her son’s passion for baseball. When he was just a few years old, his family noticed that he was drawn to stadiums and thought they might have a budding architect on their hands. They filled his arms and head with books about stadiums, and he developed a particular fondness for baseball stadiums and the sport they house. He took the interest in hand by building LEGO replicas of favorite venues and diving into historical fiction about baseball. Now 12, he plays baseball on a team and is drawn to baseball commentary, which he listens to via transistor radio. His parents, still attentively investing in his ever-evolving passion, are working on ways to get him into a broadcast booth.
Observing, listening, providing access, and practicing patience with curiosity and exploration are all the name of the game.
Ways to Invest in Your Child’s Interests
Krauss believes that young people learn constantly and that the adults in their lives should foster learning wherever and whenever it occurs—at home, at school, in the community, even online. And while it may take some time to research the options available to your child, cost often doesn’t need to be a barrier, thanks to public-service missions, community access days at cultural institutions, fee waivers, and sliding payment scales.
Embrace enrichment. “What we call the extras are often the most essential,” she says. A lot of the best learning around kids’ interests happen in music, art, or other activities outside of formal school instruction. Programs at libraries, museums, and other sites ignite and sustain kids’ interests.
Leverage literature. Libraries are the ultimate space for exposing kids to potential interests, because they offer space and time to explore new things. Built to foster curiosity, they house books and magazines that introduce kids to people, ideas, and places they might not otherwise come across. Plus, she says, they can let kids see people who look like them and who have a shared interest (e.g. chess, anime), geographical location, ethnicity, or other resonant trait.
Value virtual experiences. Access to libraries, museums, and other community spaces varies widely, so it’s important to count online spaces among those available to nurture kids’ interests. Parents can help guide kids to carefully access articles, videos, podcasts, online courses, and other content online. As Covid taught us, there are even virtual clubs, camps, and music lessons.
Treasure downtime. As we spoke, Krauss referenced play and rest as a part of this process as well, gesturing to some of her son’s LEGO creations, which sat just feet away from her desk. “Allow them that downtime to kind of integrate what they have been exposed to, what they might be interested in, and to literally and figuratively play it out,” she advised. Kids need a chance to reflect on daily activity, as well as to rest and recover from it.
Help Your Child Find Their Passions & Meet Their Potential
As parents, we often have an end in mind when making decisions about our children’s activities. We may enroll them in soccer to get them outside, get them moving, and let them experience being a part of a team. Or, we might thrust a book in their hands to deepen knowledge of a topic they’ve shown an affinity for.
But Krauss’s take is that it’s wellness, not only “readiness,” that we’re really after for our kids. So, in that vein, hold space for enjoying the journey, even if it doesn’t directly support college or career ambitions. In addition to helping your child reach their potential, fun, creativity, connection, exploration and agency all support a life well lived.
As a former pre-K teacher, Krauss loves alliteration. Here are five Es she offers as reminders for lighting the path of your child’s interests:
- Exposure is a light introduction to a variety of things, activities, and ideas that kids may or may not be interested in—along with the space to be curious and open-minded about them. It’s an idea tidily summed up in the catchphrase, “you can’t be what you can’t see,” Krauss explained. “If kids aren’t exposed to it, how could they possibly know if they’re going to be interested in it or not?”
- Exploration and Experimentation are about giving the child room and resources to engage with the topic on their own terms by doing, building, creating, and asking questions. The parents may have set the table, so to speak, but kids have “voice and choice” over how they initiate, sequence, and personalize their engagement. Their discovery is open-ended and inductive. They are gaining knowledge without having any specific theory or hypothesis in mind. Experimentation, for me, suggests taking things a bit deeper and building insight through trial and error and testing their ideas.
- Experience and Expertise imply significant time on task. For example, this is the level when a child decides soccer is their thing and goes beyond interest to commitment. At this point, their identity begins to shift from someone who plays soccer to a soccer player. Krauss says that interests aren’t only about enjoyment, and the final E of expertise comes when kids are also challenged by their pursuit and they stretch themselves to attain mastery. We parents should intentionally support what Krauss calls “the wide and long of their lives.” The wide is their exploration of interests across settings—home, school, summer, community, etc. And the long means throughout their lives.
Be Supportive & Encouraging in Everyday Moments
Clearly, taking kids on trips or paying for extracurricular programs and activities are ways we invest in our children’s interests. But those are far from the only ways to make that investment. Parental investment is present also, and perhaps moreso, in the little daily moments when we are present enough to listen well and affirm our kids’ budding expressions of interest.
“We hold the power that shapes and shifts kids’ interests based on our attention and responses,” Krauss writes. “Imagine a child who loves art and wants to pursue it. They pour their heart into their sketchbook and finally get up the courage to ask you to look at their drawings. What happens if you go over each drawing with awe and wonder? What about if you breeze through, busy and distracted? What if you say you don’t like their art, or sarcastically suggest they find a new hobby?”
Let this remind us to be encouragers for our children. We never know exactly where their quirky interests may lead, but we have it on good authority that supporting their curiosity, exploration, and experimentation bolsters their health and happiness.
Try This At Home
Ready to put Krauss’s recommendations into action? Get started with a quick two-part journaling exercise to sharpen your observations and prime your next steps.
- Notice and foster kids’ interests. Jot down a list of the children in your life. Beneath each name, list their interests and what you can do to support their exploration of those interests.
- Model your own purpose. Write down an interest you have—whether a physical activity, artistic pursuit, intellectual hobby, volunteer project, or other initiative—and jot down ways to increase your own exposure to it.
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When Jacquelyn Davis’s young son struggled to learn to read, she did everything within her power to get to the bottom of his difficulty and ensure he had the skills to survive. This involved repeatedly requesting meetings with teachers and administrators, calling educational experts, paying for outside reading assessments, and ultimately creating a board game to strengthen his reading.
Now, she’s taking the board game she created to the masses, starting an educational game company called Clever Noodle to produce and distribute it.
Her story is an inspiring example of a mother doing what it takes for her child. It’s also a glaring indictment of a system that all too often requires special time, knowledge, money, and social capital to secure basic skills for kids.
In this candid discussion, Davis shares her story about taking ownership of teaching her son vital foundational reading skills and finding fun ways to do it. I love her commitment and ingenuity, as well as the strong example of parent advocacy that she sets. Her story is a vivid reminder to respect our parental intuition and be vigilant about ensuring our kids get the attention, testing, support, and resources they need to thrive.
This conversation touches on really critical issues for parents to understand about reading instruction in schools:
- Why you shouldn’t take a wait-and-see approach with your child’s reading development
- Why early intervention is so crucial for fostering long-term reading success
- Why some parents look outside the system and spend money to have their children independently assessed
- How special resources and social capital contribute to reading success for many children
- Why play is a valuable tool in a parent’s toolkit to encourage reading practice
- How COVID widened existing disparities in education
- How evidence-based reading games can support learning
Maya Smart: Hello, I'm so excited to be here today with Jacquelyn Davis, the founder and Mom-in-chief of Clever Noodle, an educational game company. Jacquelyn, could you start by telling us a bit about your journey to becoming an educational game maker?
Jacquelyn Davis: Yes. It was not a journey I planned. I’ve actually been in the education sector for 30 years. I started off as a classroom teacher in high school and then I co-founded a charter high school to serve low-income students, to prove really that low-income students could achieve at an extremely high level if we as the adults did what we needed to do to provide them the opportunity and the strong support and instruction, and created an environment that was joyful and made them have a sense of belonging and really treated them wonderfully with the respect that they deserved. So that’s where I started. And then I’ve spent 30 years overall working in education with nonprofits, with foundations, and never did I think this was going to be the pivot that I would have in my career, but it came from a really personal place.
I knew that our son was struggling with reading and I was really wondering why, because he’s a very bright young boy and was really thoughtful in his insights about the world, even in his vocabulary. And yet he was really struggling to read and it was perplexing. But I went to the school when he was in kindergarten and said, I’m worried. He’s not learning his alphabet. He’s not remembering the letters. He can’t remember them in order. Is something wrong? And the school said, “Oh no, he’s just a late bloomer and he’s a boy. It’ll all be okay.” So being that they were the elementary school teacher and I taught high school and knew nothing about teaching children to read, I just trusted that they were right.
And then first grade came and he continued to struggle and he continued to struggle with really basic things. And I started to get increasingly worried. So again, I went up to the school and I asked for a meeting with the teacher and the principal and the head of supports in special ed, and they all came together and my husband was there and I said, “I’m really worried. I don’t think this is okay. I think something is off. I don’t know what it is, but I’m really worried.”
And they said, “Well, you shouldn’t be. He’s a boy. He’s a late developer, probably, it will all be okay. You can’t test a kid anyway until third grade. So there’s no reason to start testing him.” And I left and I said, “I think they’re wrong. And my husband said, “You have to trust them. They’re the educators.” And I said, “No, I’m the mom and I’m also an educator and I don’t think they’re right.” And so I started Googling and researching and reading that you could actually test children for dyslexia as early as kindergarten. You didn’t wait till third grade and early intervention was essential.
So our kid, like every other child in America, gets sent home for Covid. And I take a pause from work, extremely fortunate that I was in a position to be able to do that, but he couldn’t do the online learning. He struggled. He closed down the laptop screen. He also has ADHD, so it was a modem that really didn’t work for him as a child, and he just wouldn’t do it. And I was getting increasingly worried and increasingly stressed.
And so I said to the teacher, “Look, just tell me what the learning objectives are and I will try to figure out how to help him learn them.” And I realized after a short period of time that he was so resistant to reading — loved math and great in math — but so resistant to reading that I couldn’t get him to do anything. He literally would get under the kitchen table and cry, curl up into a ball. It was awful.
And I started thinking, this kid is a kid that really loves games. He likes board games. He likes card games. I’m going to start making games and I’m going to see if that’s a way in. And so that’s how it happened. I made my first game on the box back of a box that arrived from all the shipments we all got during Covid and he really liked it and it engaged him and it hooked him and he started progressing.
And so then I made another game and then I made another game and his teacher said, “What are you doing? He’s making huge progress. What are you doing?” And I said, “I’m making games.” And she said, “Well, can I have some too for the other kids who struggle?” Sure. So I gave her a set and she said, “You have to publish these. They work for all kids.” And so that’s where this happened.
Maya Smart: Wow. There are a couple of things that jump out as you relate your story. One is just this sense as the mom that something is wrong and that it needs to be addressed at a pace that people within the school, as well-intentioned and well-meaning as they are and as committed to your son's academic success as they are, they didn't have that same sense of urgency that you as the mom had. What was it that nudged you to just dig into research to figure things out after so many no's? Many people would've quit after the second round of no's from not just the teacher, but the teacher and the principal and the interventionist.
Jacquelyn Davis: Well, I think as probably most moms listening to this know in their heart, when it’s your kid, you’re going to do what it takes. You’re going to do whatever is in your power to make the difference and help your child.
And because I had been in education, I knew how critical it was for children to read by third grade on grade level, and that the children that don’t have four times the rate of dropout from high school and 75% of the children who don’t read at grade level by fourth grade never will because we as a system don’t do what’s needed. And so I knew all too well the dire data and the dire consequences. So I was probably more nervous than most moms because I knew too much.
And I went to my best friend in tears and I said, “I don’t know what to do. No one thinks I’m right. All the teachers are telling me I’m wrong.” And she said, “You are the mom. You have mom instinct. Follow your instinct.” And that was a great turning point. And I went home that night and I said to my husband, “We’re testing him, we’re getting him tested so we figure out what’s wrong, if there’s something wrong, and we’re going to know more.”
And I started getting online and reading everything I could. I ordered books. I read how to teach phonics. I read how to teach your child reading. I read all about the reading science. I found the Yale Center for Dyslexia. I read everything they had online and I just started learning. But I recently heard a survey that 94% of parents don’t know that reading is not a natural skill, that reading is a learned, needed to be taught skill.
And so there’s just an enormous misconception in the world, which frankly I had too. I was one of those kids that read at four years old, and I don’t know how, I just did. And so I thought every kid was like that. And so when my own son wasn’t reading, I thought, Oh my God, what’s wrong here and what can I do and what’s happening? And then I came to understand that most children, most children need structured explicit work to learn to read, and they need that kind of support.
And I think your book is incredibly important, particularly since so many parents still believe reading is a natural skill, and so they don’t know what to do. And your book helps them understand it’s not a natural skill, it’s a learned skill that must be taught in a very structured, explicit way. And it also empowers them to start to understand their role in this.
Because I think that’s the other problem as parents defer to educators because we trust them. We think they’re the expert. And we’re not. And not to say that the educators are not tremendously well intentioned, but 60% of our American elementaries still use curriculums that have been discredited and we know don’t work. And so parents actually have to become advocates. We have to know that just like math, where your kid has to be taught addition and subtraction and multiplication and division, because they’re not going to naturally just absorb it, it’s the same thing as reading.
Maya Smart: Absolutely. Can you talk a bit about how you sought testing for him? Were you able to get it in the school or did you have to seek outside resources for that?
Jacquelyn Davis: I’m so glad you asked that question because it’s one of the things that has me on fire. People say to me, “You’re on fire.” And I say, “Yeah, I’m on fire.” Because we are in a position so thankfully, so gratefully that I could go outside the system and pay a lot of money that the insurance doesn’t reimburse to get our son tested, to get data.
When I went to the school system and said, “I want to get him an IEP,” an individual education plan, under the special ed law, they said, “No, he doesn’t need it. And there’s not an educational problem that teachers are identifying. So he doesn’t warrant the process. He doesn’t warrant getting tested.” Well, now I know that’s actually incorrect, that you as a parent can force a review, an assessment of your child, but I didn’t know that at the time.
And after a five-month battle back and forth, when I couldn’t get him tested, I finally said, I’ll just go outside the system and I’ll pay. But again, incredible privilege frankly, that I could pay, that I could go get this for my child. And I’m angry because every child deserves that opportunity. Every child deserves the right to be understood, and we as adults in their lives, parents and educators must know so that we can get them the right support. So no, I didn’t get it through the system. Our whole story, frankly, and the success we’ve had with our son is a set of special resources, social capital, and financial ability that led us to be able to help our son. And had we not had those assets, our son would be like too many of the other children in this country and in the same position, not reading on grade level at fourth grade, which is the critical milestone.
Maya Smart: Thank you for sharing that story and being frank about the resources that you were able to deploy. That was one of the things that I highlighted in Reading for Our Lives, this idea that money is one of the ways that some people are able to get better academic outcomes for their child. Paying for tutoring was the example that I used in the book, but paying for assessments, even to figure out what the issue is, is also an advantage. And then you're also alluding to the luxury of time, to be able to research all of these things and find the resources, even those that are entitled to everyone within schools, but are often denied to people. So thank you for sharing.
Jacquelyn Davis: It’s interesting. I love the line in your book where you talked about tutoring because that resonated because yes, we paid for an assessment, but we also paid out of pocket for tutoring and intensive tutoring. Our son began the second grade 1.8 grade levels behind. And what the public system said to me is, “Until he’s a full two years behind, we’re not going to give him help. He has to be two years behind.”
And I said, “Well, what do you expect? He just stays permanently behind 1.8 years, because it’s just shy of two years? That makes no sense. That’s absurd.” And I said, “And there’s, clearly what’s going to happen is the kids that can read are going to read more and more and more, and the kids that can’t read are going to read less and less and less because it’s frustrating and it’s overwhelming and it makes them feel ashamed and it makes their self-esteem go into the tank. So they’re not going to read. And so the gap is going to widen and widen and widen, and if you don’t help him now it’s just going to get worse.”
And they said, “Yeah, until it’s two years, we’re not going to address it.” And so ultimately we moved him to an independent school that agreed to address it and has addressed it beautifully and done in-school tutoring three times a week for him that’s part of the tuition. Before we moved him there, we started getting tutoring outside of the system and paid for it ourselves. And it’s insanely expensive. I mean, we could barely afford it.
The other thing that’s really about education and privilege and social capital: One, I knew lots of people around the country to call because I had spent 30 years in the education community. And so I could get to experts and I could ask experts, “What do I read? Who do I talk to? How do I figure this out? Can my child be tested right now or do I have to wait till third grade?” So that was a huge advantage.
And then the other huge advantage we had is, as I said already, financial resources to put him in an independent school, to pay for the tutoring. But I also have a law degree. Now, I didn’t practice law. I started right out of law school in education because that was my passion, but I have a law degree.
And so when they would send me—the public system—a 27-page document to read two hours before the IEP meeting, one, I had the luxury of sitting at a computer working so I could read it opposed to sitting at a retail where I wouldn’t even have access. And they were not easy for me to read these documents, but I could sift through them with a law degree understanding enough, but then I had to sign a document. And it’s really hard to sign a document that you can’t get through that requires such expert understanding that most parents don’t have.
Maya Smart: Absolutely. Can you talk also about the role that the playfulness and the game, how that all fits into the ecosystem of reading support? So there's testing happening out of school, there's tutoring happening out of school and later in school. Why was it important to also layer in fun and games and family participation in this process?
Jacquelyn Davis: Yeah, the former superintendent, chancellor of the DC Public Schools, we call our title here, chancellor, Chancellor Henderson. Kaya Henderson speaks a lot about this, and she’s in our video on our Clever Noodle website, and you can see her talk about it, but she talks about play being a very powerful tool for children because it’s fun, because it lowers their anxiety. And so their entry point is much easier because they don’t feel a lot of anxiety. They stay engaged longer, and so they actually end up practicing longer.
And that’s exactly what we saw with our son. He did not want to have anything to do with reading. He completely rejected it and he was so resistant. But playing a game? Oh, sure. Playing some really cool Go Fish, that’s all about reading, playing a version of a blend of Candy Land and Chutes and Ladders into one game? Oh, sure. And we played all the time and his skills were getting better and better and better because we played so many hours and he practiced so much.
And at one point he says to me, “Mom, I know what you’re doing.” And I said, “Oh, what am I doing?” And he said, “You’re teaching me to read, but it’s okay because it’s fun.” So it was a way just to really hook him and engage him and build his hours of practice, build his time on task in a way that I wasn’t able to do with any other tools.
The way games sit though more in a larger context than just my own home, my own child is one, any family can play them with their children. And I think as parents, were often looking for ways to play games and engage with our children in a social interactive way to get them offline because they’re all spending too much time online.
But also how can we be part of it? How can we play with our child and feel good that we’re helping them learn some skill while they’re playing with us? And it might be a strategy skill or it might be a reading skill.
And so how do we have those games that we can purchase that we don’t have to be the expert, we don’t have to figure out the science of reading, but we can trust a brand to know they’ve figured out the science of reading. They’re committed to the science of reading and a hundred percent committed to it and won’t produce a game if it’s not aligned. And they’re a hundred percent committed to children’s play and fun. And so how can I as a parent then just go trust that and buy it and bring it home?
In a classroom setting, there’s a different opportunity. We need the science of reading in classrooms with the right curriculum and the right teacher instruction. But beyond that, teachers need kids to practice and it’s a lot easier to send them into a station rotation where three of the stations are, go play a game.
And when I tested this with hundreds of kids in schools, the kids loved it and the teachers said, “Oh my God, wait, can I have it now? Because I need this. My kids are engaged, they love the artwork, they love the gameplay, and they don’t want to leave, and I’m sending them back to class and they’re asking to stay. So how quickly can I get this?” So there’s a really important role both in the home and in the classroom to make learning fun and to really increase the practice that our children are getting.
Maya Smart: What you mentioned about the importance of aligned curriculum and also games that allow kids to practice skills independently. It's so important. And that's something where my views have evolved a bit. Early on, I was of the opinion that a really good teacher can use almost anything and teach these really critical, important lessons. And I think that's true if a teacher is well trained and understands the science of reading, really understands what goes into teaching kids and nuts and bolts of decoding and also building oral language and all of these things. But I've realized that if we're trying to get this to scale, if we're trying to make sure that every child really has a shot at becoming a reader, then we need to be able to support teachers with the right and curriculum. So that's definitely an area where I've evolved.
Jacquelyn Davis: Well, I think it’s also about teacher capacity and teacher time. We expect so much of our teachers, particularly during Covid and where we still are with Covid and all the challenges that that’s created for our children and our schools and how much disruption so many children across our country experienced.
Teachers have so much on their plate. Having to work with a curriculum that isn’t a hundred percent aligned to the science of reading, with the phonemic awareness, the alphabet principles, and phonics built in and background knowledge puts teachers at a disadvantage and puts a burden on them, not just to do the social emotional stuff in the classroom, not just to build the relationships, not just to make sure they’re looking at every single student and knowing where that student is coming from and how to meet that student’s needs. Those are all really hard things to do as a teacher, how to manage your full classroom, how to set up the dynamics of a classroom, how to build the culture. Those are hard things to do.
And so you need curriculum that’s reliable and validated that you can just use. And then yes, you’re going to modify some, and yes, you’re going to use your great teaching skill and your knowledge of your children to amend slightly or to adjust, but that’s where you should be spending your time and energy and building the relationships and talking to the parents outside of the classroom. And your time and energy should go there. And it should go to looking at student work and giving feedback, not to writing and designing curriculum.
And so we really should be adopting validated strong curriculum in this country, and then teachers would have the freedom to do more of what they can do best. And we still need our teachers to be trained as well in how to deliver the science of reading.
Maya Smart: So I gave the example on a speaking engagement recently of some kindergartners entering not knowing any letters, some knowing many letters, some knowing not even the first letter of their first name. And, since using that example, there have been second-grade teachers in audiences who've said, "My second graders were virtual for kindergarten and much of first grade. And they're entering now not knowing any letters, not knowing how to hold a pencil, not knowing how to write their names." So it's an even heavier burden placed on teachers to meet the needs of all of their students when some students were fortunate to have parents or tutors or others who could help keep them on track. And then others are even farther behind.
Jacquelyn Davis: And I’ve seen this firsthand. So I tested our first game, which is called Kangaroo Cravings. I tested it across schools, in schools across the whole city of Washington, DC and I went to an independent school that had actually been in session almost all of Covid. They only had the spring of 2020 off, and then they went back in person in session September of 2020. So they were one of the first in the city to go back.
And I tested the game, which is a high-frequency sight word game, with their second graders. And all of their second graders had out-developed the game. They had already developed all those skills and they didn’t need them. So then we went back and tested it at the same school with first graders, and about half of the first graders had developed out of that level of support and about half of them still needed it.
I then went to a public charter school that had been closed for a year and a half, and the kids had only been back in for a couple of months, and I sat down and tested it with the second graders. None of the second graders could play the game and knew developmentally with their reading on their reading journey, these skills. And so then we tested it with the third graders.
So here you have us at the independent school that was almost in session the entire time, dropping down grades. And then with the public school that was closed for almost a year and a half, and the kids had just returned, we were testing it with the second graders and had to go up the grades. And so even at the third-grade level, only about half the kids had that reading skill developed and the other half still didn’t.
And I said to the teacher, “This is devastating.” And he said to me, “It is. And you don’t even know how bad it actually is. It’s so bad.” And so you just see the haves and the have-nots being further and further and further divided through this experience. It’s why we care so much about equity. It’s why we have two national partners that are our equity partners.
So we have New Leaders, which is a national program that works with school leaders across the country, and that is enabling us to get games into 15 cities across the country that our backers on Kickstarter are donating the games. So we already have 350 games that will be donated for elementary schools in these 15 cities, all in low-income schools. And then we have another partner, which is the Black Alliance of Dyslexic Children, and we are partnering with them and they work directly with families.
And that way we’ll be able to get the games directly into households. So it’s an elementary school classroom strategy and a family strategy.
And we wanted to make sure that we could begin to reach families that are often more marginalized and don’t have the same opportunity that I’ve discussed that we had as a family, that they too will have access to the game because the game should be played by everyone. It’s fun for all children, and we’ve tested it with all children.
We’ve also tested it extensively with dyslexic children and children with other learning differences like ADHD to ensure that it works for all of them. And we’ve built special aspects and elements into the game to ensure it works for all children. And so that’s something I’m really proud of. My own son is dyslexic, and I wanted to make sure it worked for every dyslexic kid as well as it would work for a kid that was going to learn to read with effort, but still needing the same structured explicit literacy.
Maya Smart: So tell us a bit about the game, how it works and what kids can gain by playing it.
Jacquelyn Davis: So while the company is called Clever Noodle, our first game is called Kangaroo Cravings. And I’ll just show you really quickly. So this was our first version on the cardboard box from all of our Covid home deliveries that so many of us across the country were getting. And I created sort of a blend of Candy Land and Chutes and Ladders, with a little path that the characters would go on all the way to the pizza to win the pizza at the end, because my son loves pizza. And during Covid every Friday night, we started pizza night. And so it felt like, okay, let’s race to the pizza. We’re all eating pizza all the time.
And so that’s where the game started, and it’s now evolved into this board and I’m really excited. We worked with an amazing children’s book illustrator out of Bogota, Columbia to create the board, and we’ve tested it with, as I said, over a hundred children.
So we’ve also amended the board multiple times to get feedback from the children and ways in which it really works for them and it draws them in and ways in which it doesn’t. So one way we got feedback is we used to have, right toward the end, you would land on a bad spot and you’d have to go back four spaces. And the kids said, it’s just not fair. We’re so close to the end and you’re going to make us go back four spaces? Two. Two is maximum. So now it’s two because the kids really didn’t like it and they really didn’t think it was fair. And so we care so much about this being child-centered design and working for children that we made those adjustments.
So the game itself is a high-frequency sight word game, and it’s critically important for children to become very familiar and recognize high-frequency words that appear very often in children’s early literature. And the more familiar the children get with those words, the higher fluency they build, the faster they can read. And so that’s really important because when you read more fluidly and with more fluency, your comprehension also picks up because you’re able to read the full sentence opposed to having it be all chopped up and you’re struggling with the words, and by the time you get to the period or the exclamation point, you have no idea what the words said anymore. You have to go back and reread it.
So I’m going to show you some of the cards. There’s two kinds of words. There’s the high-frequency words that we want kids just to become so familiar with that they can spot them and they know them because they’ve practiced over and over and they can keep reading because they know the word. And then they’re what I call just the sight words, which means you literally have to memorize those words by sight, unfortunately, because those words break the rules, because it’s English and we have all these silly rules in English, and those words don’t follow the phonics patterns.
And so they break the rules and therefore you unfortunately just have to memorize them. Whereas the other rules, the other words, excuse me, words, you can learn by sounding them out and then eventually you still want them to become so familiar that they’re mapped to your brain.
One example I always give because it helps everyone understand what I’m talking about, is the word done. The word done is spelled d-o-n-e. And if you understand phonics, you should pronounce it doh-n, because that is how that word is structured, but it’s not doh-n, it’s done. And so that’s a word that a child just has to memorize and map to their brain so that when they see it, they know it’s done and it’s not doh-n.
And so what we’ve done in the card games, sorry, the cards that are part of the game is we’ve created cards that are in black with the sight or high-frequency word here.
And that signals to a child and the adults that you can actually decode this word. You can sound it out and learn it, and then you can map it to your brain by lots of practice. But if it’s a red word at the top, it’s a flag. This is one of those words that breaks the rules and you’re just going to have to memorize it over time. And so we differentiate between the words you can learn by sounding them out, and then lots of practice to read more fluently, and the words that you can’t sound out and you just have to learn them. And so we help children understand the difference.
And then the other thing we do is in each one of the cards, we break down the sounds of the letters and we help the children know, are those sounds that are the regular sound patterns, or are those sounds that are not. So this letter, this W letter is the right sound, it sounds like it’s supposed to, but then the next two letters don’t, so that’s the only awkward part of that word, but that W does sound like what you’re used to it sounding like. And it does sound the way you expect. So you’re also helping children know when to use what they know and when to recognize, oh, this is not the regular rule that I know, this is going to be different.
And then every one of our cards has one of our seven multi-sensory actions, and we have a little cheat sheet card to help the adults teach the children the actions so they don’t have to read anything more than the one word. And then the action tells them what they’re going to do in a multi-sensory way to help this word come into their body, to kinesthetically experience this word. And so this one is the little kangaroo tapping out the letters on his or her arm. This one is the kangaroo stomping her big foot. And so she’s stomping the letters of the word. Then she’s stomping the letters of the word again, and then she’s stomping the whole word.
This one is she’s doing them on her fingers, she’s doing the first letter, the second letter, the third letter on her fingers, saying the full word, doing it again. So working on learning those letters and then saying the full word. So they start to connect for a child and they get much more practice, but with ways that are multi-sensory and movement. It also helps an, it helps an ADHD child also stay more engaged.
The arrow is the number of spaces they move. So it’s randomized In the cards, there’s also three decks of cards. So there’s the first level, the second level, and the third level. And it increases in difficulty as children master one set and they move to the next set and then they move to the final set.
Maya Smart: And how would you describe the main benefits of the game and over what period of time to see if it's having an impact?
Jacquelyn Davis: Most children within three months of playing it, they’ll master a small subset of the words as they go. And so, in the instructions it says to the educators and the parents, you might want to just start with 20 of the cards in the first deck, and you might want to go over the words with the children at least one or two times just helping them recognize them.
But unlike flashcards where you just drill and kill and drill and kill, instead you review, you help children get some understanding and some learning, but it’s so basic they probably won’t remember it. And then you start playing and we suggest you play with a small batch until the kid gets more comfortable and learns more. And then you can move on to a bigger batch. And eventually you’ll go to level two and level three.
And so many kids do then learn all these words, all these high-frequency sight words, there’s 300 of them included in the game, they learn them in three to four months. Some learn them a bit faster and some much longer. So every child develops a little bit differently. But I would say three to four months is where most kids, if they’re playing the game regularly, if they’re not, it will take longer. You also can reinforce it in school obviously, and a teacher can pull apart batches of cards and make sure the cards match her scope and sequence of what she’s teaching children when. So it can really reinforce and help children.
And then the characters are really cute. There are these different kangaroos that are, I don’t know if you can see these, but these different little kangaroos and this kangaroo is actually being amended because a lot of the children don’t like it. They think it’s boring. So there’s some writing on that to fix it.
And then there are two ways to play the game. You can play it competitively against your other kangaroos to the race, to the pizza and win, or you can play it cooperatively. And so all the children become a team and they play against the raccoon. And this is another really important aspect of the game because for some children who are just starting out competing feels really intimidating. And the last thing we want to be is intimidating to children.
We want Kangaroo Cravings to be fun for every child, and we want them to lower their anxiety and want to be engaged in it. And so if a child’s going to do better or a group of children are going to do better with collaborative play, then you start there. If children want to compete, then you start there, but you have the flexibility.
It also gives a parent the flexibility for a mom to put her kid in the game and say, you’re going to play cooperatively against this kangaroo, I’m sorry, with your kangaroo against this raccoon, and I’m going to go stand here and cook dinner and I’m going to watch you play, but I’ll be right here and I’m going to cook dinner and you’re going to play.
And so as a mom who’s a working mom with a husband who also works a lot, I’m always trying to find ways that I can make sure my child is doing something wonderful and engaging and useful and educational and not on the screen while I do 12 other things. So I really thought about that in the development to see how could we make sure a working mom or a working dad who’s doing other things and is busy could also enable their child to play.
Maya Smart: Thank you so much for sharing your story and your game with us. In Reading for Our Lives, I talk about six big ways that parents can have an impact on their child's reading trajectory. And I talk about the importance of back-and-forth conversations, talking, and shared reading, and teaching, but also budgeting, connecting and advocating. And I think your story is one really of a parent taking ownership of teaching and finding a fun way to do it, because when we teach our kids one-on-one or in small groups at home, it doesn't have to look the way that things typically look in classrooms. So I love what you've created and I love the example of advocacy that you've shared with parents. This idea that trust your gut. If you feel there is something going on with your child that needs greater attention, scrutiny within schools, push to get that attention, testing, support however you can. So any final words for our listeners?
Jacquelyn Davis: Because so many of us are trying to get our children offline, playing a game, playing Kangaroo Cravings and the suite that we will build out for parents over near term, playing these games that we will produce through Clever Noodle will give you a chance to not only have your child learn, but will give you a chance to engage with your child and do something.
Games are a democratizing play thing because you’re all equal, you’re all in the same context, you’re all playing together, you’re all laughing and enjoying. And so it really does bring teachers and kids together, teachers in a classroom together, children in a classroom together, children with their families at home. It’s really a social engagement so that the learning becomes really active, but it also becomes really fun.
And so we say Clever Noodle is a seriously fun, surprisingly educational, learn-to-read game company. And we’re tabletop because we want kids offline and actively learning and engaging with other people so they build their social skills too. Thank you so much, Maya. I love your book. I recommend it highly to other families and to teachers and to pediatricians, and it’s helped me and I’ve really enjoyed reading it. And thank you so much for your time today.
Maya Smart: Thank you so much.
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At first, parents are focused on reading aloud to their children, but there quickly comes a day when kids need to practice reading to us. But finding simple, yet engaging, books that little ones can sound out on their own is a real challenge. Luckily, a number of decodable readers have come on the market to fill this need for books that can be read with just a beginning knowledge of letter-sound correspondences. They are short and feature phonetically regular words, but also incorporate a little storytelling so kids get more than boring predictable text like, Mat sat on a hat.
In this conversation with Sara Cotner of Montessori for All, we chat about how to help kids become thriving readers, the parent-school partnership, and Monarch Readers, a line of thoughtfully crafted decodable readers books her organization has developed.
Sara is founder and CEO of the organization, which is committed to “increasing the number of children who have access to transformational public schools” with the Montessori approach, embedded social and emotional learning, and culturally responsive communities.
Watch our conversation (or scroll down for the transcript) to learn Sara’s science-based tips for raising a reader, including:
- What to do at home to help your child read
- What to ask your child’s school and teachers
- How to choose books for kids to read alone
- Ways to support your child’s teachers
- And when you need to do more
Maya Smart: I am so excited to be here today chatting with Sara Cotner, the executive director of Montessori for All, a national nonprofit based in Austin, Texas, that I had the privilege of serving as a board member on many moons ago. So Sara, tell us a bit about Montessori for All and then we'll dive into a little discussion of some exciting new books you've released.
Sara Cotner: Montessori for All really believes in transformational education. We believe that education has the potential to unleash human potential and help every child shine their light in the world. And when every person can shine their light, then we will be on a path to having a more just and peaceful world for everyone. So we launched a public Montessori school in Austin, Texas, and now we work with that school to do research and development on ways to bring more transformational practices to schools across the nation. So we do that through publishing tools and resources and doing professional development and coaching and consulting as well.
Maya Smart: It's a really big and powerful mission. The idea of transformational education is so big, and yet there are so many details that have to be attended to in the individual learning journeys of every child with their own particular needs. Reading is a big foundational pillar in any education of a child. From a parent's perspective, you want to raise a reader, you know to go to the library, get some books, read to them every night. These are sort of the things you have been told to do. Are there things that you would add that parents should be aware of?
Sara Cotner: Luckily, anyone listening to this or watching this is on the right track for building a reader, because so much of it comes down to oral language development, and families who care a lot are the same families who are talking to their children all the time, reading books to their children. So you build a really strong foundation of oral language. I actually think of it as like an iceberg, and teaching a child to read is the very tip of that iceberg. And oral language is everything under the surface. So with strong oral language, children are going to have a really strong foundation. Then there is this piece around phonological awareness, and that’s just playing with sounds and those are playing games with your children. If you give the word cat to the child, you want them to be able to segment that into C-A-T, you want them to hear the sounds in it, and then you want to say, okay, now I’m going to give you another word D-O-G, now I want you to blend that together to make one word: dog.
And so that’s kind of building on the oral language, getting really strong phonological awareness skills. And from there you then start teaching phonics. And it’s pretty straightforward except that English is just very, very complicated. So we teach letter sounds to children, and letter sounds matter so much more than letter names. And that’s kind of confusing in the world out there. So knowing letter sounds. And then once they know letter sounds, they can start reading basic words, like cat and dog and sat and sit. Then you start teaching the things that are tricky about English, like two letters that go together to make a different sound. So if I put E and A together, I don’t say “eh-ah,” I say “ee” or I say “eh,” depending on whether it’s bread or meat. There are just so many different combinations. And several children need that to be very clear.
They need to systematically learn when these two letters go together, they make this sound. When these letters go together, it makes this sound. Some children don’t need that at all, and they will become strong readers without that. But a large percentage of children do need phonics. The set of unspoken rules, it has to be very clear to them. And this is where decodable readers are so helpful. Educators who are following the science of reading are moving away from pattern books, where it says, this is a dog, this is a cat. And the children are really using the pictures to help them read the words. And instead we want to ground them in sounding everything out because we want them to have a really strong correspondence between the letters that they see and the sounds that they make.
Maya Smart: And talk a little bit about the connection between school and home as kids walk through the path that you described. So there's the oral language piece and then the playing with sounds, and then phonics, and then teaching the trickier spelling patterns and other issues that you mentioned. But should parents be doing all of these things? When should they start thinking about these things or working on these things? Is there a handoff to school at some point, or should there continue to be a collaboration in raising the reader?
Sara Cotner: That’s a great question. Families as partners is so huge, and I think it starts from a very young age, just being with your children, using real vocabulary, using real words, actually using real words. That strong oral foundation is going to set children up for so much. When children go into school with strong oral language, large vocabularies, and a lot of background knowledge, that sets them up to really soar as readers. The other thing I will add is it is important to make sure that the school you’re sending your children to is grounded in the science of reading. So you want to hear your child’s teachers talking about teaching phonics, and you can ask them, “Well, how do you teach phonics?” And you don’t want it to sound like, “Oh, well we just embed it when we’re reading a book. I’ll point out the sounds.” It’s like, no, no, you want it to be systematic and sequential.
And again, not every child needs it that way, but a lot of children do. And so you want schools to be taking that approach. And if your child’s school is taking that approach, I would just continue doing rich read-alouds, taking your children to museums, talking about the world, and asking them how their day was, and they will likely flourish. But if your child’s school is not teaching phonics and is not following the science of reading, then you might want to actually purchase a curriculum and teach them at home. One curriculum that I think is very family-friendly is called All About Reading, and it has step-by-step lessons that you can teach to your child at home. But again, I would only do that if the school legitimately is not doing it, because you don’t need to overwhelm your child.
When your child comes home, they should really enjoy their home life and enjoy their family. They shouldn’t be doing school at home unless it’s really not being done at school. And then the other thing is just to ask your child’s teacher, “How can I support you at home? Are there things you want me to be doing with my child at home to support you?” And that can build a really strong partnership. And then you also do want to make sure you have a rich selection of books at home. And the decodable readers are the hardest thing to get your hands on. This is why we ended up building our own, because there just aren’t enough on the market. But really look for high-quality decodable readers. And by decodable, that means they’re grounded in phonics. They are words that children can sound out. They don’t put the word beautiful in a book for a child.
They are words that can be sounded out, but you also want the books to make sense, because you want children from the very beginning to understand that we read in order to make meaning. And to answer your question about when, you want to watch your child and observe your child to see when they are interested in language. A lot of times in Montessori schools, we see this happening with three year olds, four year olds. We see them wanting to read signs, they want to be like the adults around them. And so as soon as we see that interest, we will start training children on letter sounds. That’s the first step, is making sure they learn all of their letter sounds.
Maya Smart: With the decodable readers, I think many people are familiar with—Bob Books is one popular series and there are some others. There's some newer ones out now. There's one that will sort of customize the image within the book to look like your child or include their name or their favorite color and different elements like that. Tell us a bit about Monarch Readers. What makes them distinctive among decodable readers?
Sara Cotner: We developed Monarch Readers because our teachers wanted more books to use with children. There just aren’t enough beautiful, rich decodable readers out there. There are lots that we use. We do use Bob Books. We do use Ms. Rhonda’s Readers. We just needed more, because emerging readers go through books so quickly. And we also work in a public school that is intentionally diverse—racially, culturally, socioeconomically, in terms of neurodiversity and physical abilities.
And so we just wanted our children to be able to see themselves reflected on the pages of our book. When children are learning to read, they’re usually between zero to six years old. And it’s a range of time when children are developing their personalities and when children are building their personalities, you want them to see themselves reflected in the books that they’re looking at, because that gives them messages that they are worthy of showing up in stories.
And you want them to see the beauty that is the world. And the world is a collection of so many different people. And so we were just struggling to find books that kind of met that criteria. We wanted books that were phonetically controlled, where it was really isolating the difficulty for children, where it was giving them beginning phonics and then medium-level phonics and then harder phonics. We wanted it to be scaffolded, but we also wanted it to make sense. We didn’t want everything to be about Sam and ham. We wanted our readers to laugh at the stories and to get new ideas in the stories.
So these books were written by two teachers who wanted them for their own classroom and for their children. And so they put in messages related to social and emotional learning. There’s a story where a boy gets so mad he kicks over this bucket of sand at the sandbox and everybody has to come together to solve this conflict. And so we just put in messages that we are trying to help cultivate in children related to self-regulation and kindness and empathy. So all of those are integrated into the books as well.
Maya Smart: So it really is bringing together elements that you don't often find together. So when people think about decodable readers, they really are thinking about those skills and opportunities to practice certain elements of phonics, and they aren't necessarily thinking about them as stories even, or literature, or something worthy of a beautiful illustration. So can you talk about how the books have been received so far?
Sara Cotner: Yeah, and people are, those of us who work with children that young, we know that they are so impressionable and they deserve the most beautiful things. And it’s easy to write them off and say, oh, we can just use these pencil illustrations, these line drawings or whatever. And not real characters, but they deserve the very best because they’re forming their impressions of the world at that time. And we want them to hold beautiful things in their hands and feel like, “Ooh, reading is cool. This is really fun.” And have a really positive experience. So that’s how we designed them and they are being received in that way.
We’re getting messages from people that their children just want to sit and read all of them at the same time and get through all of them. And then we’ve had, I think the most poignant reactions for me have been from teachers of color or moms of color who pick up the books and literally tear up because they’re so used to not seeing themselves reflected in the books that they try to put in front of their children. We have sold our books at homeschooling conferences. And so homeschooling moms of color are so used to so much curriculum that’s just very, very, very, very white. And so they’re so grateful to have books that reflect their children back to them. We have characters in there who are in—a character who’s in a wheelchair. We have a character who is deaf. So there’s just a variety of—that reflects the beauty that is this world. So the reception has been really positive so far.
Maya Smart: What ages of children most enjoy these books?
Sara Cotner: We use them with three year olds through third grade. And third grade’s getting kind of up there. But we have—third graders who are below grade level in reading need these books to help them learn how to read. And they still find them interesting enough. We’re working on the next set of series, which is going to be for older children that will be more tailored to them. Ours are really tailored for children who are three years old to first or second grade, but they can be used with third graders as well. But really it’s about following the child and knowing what their reading ability is. So our books start when children can recognize common sight words. The first book starts with a and the as two important sight words that children just memorize. And then they can decode three-letter words like cat or bug.
And that’s where the first book starts. And every book, at the front, will tell families, these are the sight words that children have to have mastered before they read this book. And these are the phonetic skills that children need to have mastered before they read this book. Because we want the children to experience success. We want to teach those skills in isolation and then put the book in front of them, where they can feel really successful and their learning gets reinforced. And all of our books are sold in sets. There are five levels and each level has about six books. Four levels have six books. The first level has three books, and all levels come with the site word cards that are needed for those books. So you can use them as flashcards.
Maya Smart: And I think it's important to remind parents that this is just part of what kids are reading or part of the reading experience. So you're still continuing to read to them all kinds of books, introducing more complex vocabulary that they wouldn't be able to send out. They're still flipping through other kinds of books. It's just part of a larger picture of reading.
Sara Cotner: And the reason why such a solid foundation is so important is because as they get older, because kids who are really smart, they start to memorize words, they start to look like they’re really getting it. But you want to check for phonics, because when they get to multisyllabic words and they’re having to read pollution and deforestation, you want them to have that strong foundation and to break words apart into syllables and sound out each syllable. So if you make sure they get that strong phonics foundation when they’re young, it will carry through to those really advanced levels of reading.
Maya Smart: And then separately from the content of the books themselves, I'm interested in hearing you describe just the creative process of seeing a need in the world for a school or a series of books or whatever the case may be, and going from idea to actually manifesting the thing.
Sara Cotner: It is my favorite part, because, to me, it’s such a metaphor for what we do in Montessori. What we are trying to do in Montessori is help children identify what is their unique light to shine in the world, and where does their unique light match up with the world’s greatest needs? And then how do they go make something happen? And that’s what our teachers did. Our teachers said, we really need more decodable readers in our classrooms. We have this idea. And I partnered with them to help them edit them and think about the artistic vision. We had to hire a professional illustrator because we did not—one of our relatives was willing to do it. And we said, no, no, we want this to be professionally illustrated, to give the youngest children the most beautiful things possible. So we hired a local illustrator and then we worked together to come up with the text, make it really controlled.
We literally went through word by word to be really intentional about every single word that’s in the book. And then we found, partnered with a printer, and then we had the books printed, and now we have thousands and thousands of copies for sale that we are storing and shipping out. And every step of the way, it’s been such a learning journey. There’s so much we didn’t know about publishing books. And so it’s been really fun to use our literacy skills to access information and access resources and know that that’s why we do this for kids. Because when you have literacy strength and skills, you can do anything. If you can read and write, you can do anything in the world. And that’s what we want to make true for our children.
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In her debut book, This Boy We Made, A Memoir of Motherhood, Genetics and Facing the Unknown, Taylor Harris gives voice to the steep learning curve and related anxiety that come with the high-stakes work of parenting. When her young son begins suffering from listlessness, processing delays, and other troubling symptoms, Harris seeks answers however she can. In the process, she builds new parenting skills as she navigates her own emotional terrain, the education system, and the medical establishment.
Many parents will relate to that near-constant sense of grappling with the unknown that comes with raising a baby and toddler through those early years. Why is the baby crying this time? Is this normal? Should we call the doctor? Little by little, parents learn to make the best decisions we can by weighing the information and instincts we have at our disposal. We see what happens with the choices we’ve made. Then we keep choosing, sometimes getting it right, sometimes making mistakes, and learning and growing along the way.
Watch our conversation below (or scroll down for the transcript) to learn about Harris’s journey as an advocate for her son, and as a chronicler of the experience, as well.
Maya Smart: Well thank you so much for joining me today. I wanted to chat with you about your book, This Boy We Made. What a gorgeous cover is this? Tell me a little bit about the cover art and what you think that it says about the content.
Taylor Harris: The cover is one of my favorite things and I feel like I get to brag on it without sounding some kind of way because I didn’t have a lot to do with it. So Nicole is the artist of the cover and I had sent her, you can see there’s the silhouette of my son.
And so I sent her a picture of him. He used to love, even when he was two and three, he would jump off these picnic tables and I’d always be like, can can a kid break their shin? I don’t know if this is okay, but he loved it so much that I let him do it. So I sent her a picture of him doing that. But she came up with a lot of it as far as that sort of the colors they almost have this tunnel effect, which I love and I love that he sparkles and that was one of the things, I showed him an ARC early on and he was like, “Ooh, I’m sparkly.”
Maya Smart: Wonderful. I didn't realize that that was an actual silhouette of your son. I assumed it was just an imaginary boy kind of leaping out into the world. So it does definitely have special significance that it's your actual son. So in the book you call him Tophs, am I pronouncing it correctly?
Taylor Harris: Yes, you got it right, and he would be so happy. He’s so kind, but he gets toast like french toast or some people, they listen for it and they’re like, “Oh toes, why is your nickname toes?” But yes, Tophs it is.
Maya Smart: Fantastic. And so tell us a bit about him. He's obviously a central, I don't want to say character, but a central—since he's a real boy—but a central figure in the book. If you were introducing him to someone who's thinking about picking up the book, what would you say about him?
Taylor Harris: Again, something I can say because I didn’t make it up. A former teacher of his, we were texting one day recently and she was like, you know what, Tophs is the best of all of us. And I thought that that was just really sweet and also just hits on this—like when he said “I’m sparkly,” there’s something about him that, even if I wasn’t sure I could always get through to him or understand him, because his speech was delayed early on, but what you get is this sort of vibrancy from him.
And he really takes it on and handles it and wants to know, “What condition do I have?” Because we do have some smaller diagnoses for him, just not a global one, and he wants to know, “How do I spell it? Can I research it on my Chromebook?” And so that’s been really neat to see as he gets older we can have those conversations.
Maya Smart: For folks who haven't read the book yet, can you explain sort of how he figures? You mentioned some of the small diagnoses but I would say the book, much of it is a journey trying to understand him better and understand these symptoms that he's experiencing over time, starting when he was about 22 months.
Taylor Harris: You know, you can go back to his birth and everything was sort of okay. But at 22 months I feel like his body was just, made us notice.
Maya Smart: At what point did you start writing about it? Of course at the beginning you didn't think of it as a book. Was it journaling? Was it just taking notes about observations? So how did the writing part begin?
Taylor Harris: The funny thing is almost before the 22 months sort of crash, I had a column for McSweeney’s called Big Mom on campus that was mostly humorous. There were some more serious columns that I wrote, but most of it was just sort of making fun and light of motherhood and these ridiculous challenges we face, like when our baby has a blowout in the car and things like that.
I had some experience writing about motherhood, but again a lot of funny things or I’d write a little bit about anxiety and motherhood and how I think I saw some of my anxiety in my firstborn daughter. But then with Tophs and sort of the seriousness of the story, it did sort of start with some journaling and then I just had help from other writers and editors and other mom friends who were like, “Hey, we don’t want to pressure you, but would you be open to writing about some of your experiences?”
Maya Smart: That's beautiful. As you're experiencing it, once you get into the point where it's a book, you're actively working on a book, you're revisiting reports from doctor's appointments or journal entries or your own memories, how do you then determine, since it's a real story unfolding in your own life, how do you know when it's the end?
Taylor Harris: That is the question. Something that came up quite a bit during the process was like how does this story end? And something I kind of joke about now, the book went out to some people who work in other forms of media, like if they wanted to make it into a movie or a series or something.
And one of the notes back was, the story is so beautiful, let us know if you get a diagnosis. And I was like, well I sort of feel good about that because it’s not a comment on my writing, I actually can’t just give you a diagnosis. But also was sort of like, yes, I would like to be the first to know if there’s a diagnosis.
Maya Smart You're like, no one wants a diagnosis more than me.
Taylor Harris: But the reader, I always say the reader, if the reader’s going to invest, they deserve some movement, some shift, some change, some coming back to, and so I think of This Boy We Made, yes, there is shift, there’s movement, there’s narrative tension, but also it’s kind of circling around these similar questions and I think it’s inviting the reader to consider them with me.
And so do I end up with more knowledge at the end of the book? For sure. Different perspective? For sure. But there are some things that hold true I think throughout the book about a mother and her son. And I think for me that was important to come back to, like, you know what, even when you don’t have all the answers there are, there are these truths and they’ve been true forever. And I was okay with that sort of being part of the ending of the book.
Maya Smart: In the book you write about entering a lot of different medical settings and there's a certain vulnerability when you're arriving with your son and you know there's an issue, the issue doesn't have a name, but you write movingly about how you feel about being perceived or judged by people in different settings. Can you talk about that a bit? Just as a black mom entering spaces where your child is being assessed?
Taylor Harris: We all know certain things, right? Or I shouldn’t say we all, but I think there are things we should all know, like the mortality rate of black women giving birth or the review that came out of med schools where people legitimately still believe black people feel less pain and things like that. And so when I walked into these offices, especially if it was a doctor who was filling in, he has some great regular doctors who I’m not talking about here.
One of the scenes is the doctor filling in saying sort of, “Wait, you know, gave your daughter Tylenol when, how bad was her fever?” And I say something, I don’t know, 101, 102, something not terrible, but I’m a pretty new mom and he is like, “We don’t give Tylenol for fevers like that. And where did you say you live again?” And this is Charlottesville. So I’m like, why does that matter?
And sometimes it can be because I’m like, am I treated a way because I’m a stay-at-home mom? Am I treated a certain way because I’m a woman, a black woman? Because I look young? And it’s hard to know. And so it’s, it’s almost that burden of proof I think that we carry. For me a lot of what I wanted, I think the reader to feel was that burden, that questioning. Yes, some of it is my own sort of the way anxiety works in my body and my mind and I can spiral and think about a question and ruminate.
The other part is the sort of outside forces acting on you and knowing the history even of Charlottesville and how black people tend to be treated in hospitals and that includes in Charlottesville for sure. So there were rarely easy answers to that, a hundred percent I knew certainly I was being treated differently because of race, but you still can’t ignore it, even if I’m not a hundred percent sure.
Maya Smart: I wanted to end where we started by talking about this leaping, sparkling boy on the cover of your book. What have you told him about book and about the stories within it, and what does he feel about it?
Taylor Harris: The question is what has he told other people? I took him to CHOP (Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia) recently because now we’re in Pennsylvania, so Philly is a little bit closer and we’d been there years ago. So we just kind of went to kind of get reevaluated, see if there’s anything new out there.
And we met this great black woman who was a geneticist and she was talking to us. She focuses on issues of metabolism and she is just trying to get to the bottom. We’re explaining—how old is he now? Nine. So we’re explaining at least seven years, probably, of test results and things to her.
And she’s asking these serious, pointed questions and he interrupts her and he is like, “So have you heard of This Boy We Made? It comes out”—at that point, my publication date was January 4th, so he said, “It comes out January 4th, you can order it.” She was so kind, again, this is why having a black doctor can make a difference. She almost feels a little bit like family and she just really boosts him and she’s like, that is great. And then she goes back to asking me questions and he interrupts her again, and he’s referring to me and he’s like, “You know you’re talking to someone famous, right?”
But he’s just so proud and he is so about—you know, I do a lot of worrying. Tophs worries some, not so much about himself I think, but he’s just got this like sixth sense about life. He’s got this other core or layer to him. And I think in the book I mentioned, that’s why I think some people would ask me, is he some locust-eating prophet? He’s this really interesting guy.
He is really bubbly, he really knows what he wants in life. And right now that is a Lego skate park set and when he wants something, he tells you over and over again. And that’s also sort of how you get to know Tophs, is like, what is toasts obsessing about right now? That’s one of the ways in.
Maya Smart: You've written a beautiful tribute to him and to your relationship and just to the journey of navigating motherhood and all that goes into that with more than one child, actually. But since it's called This Boy We Made, we focused on him today. But a beautiful book and I know many people will benefit from just your candor and vulnerability and willingness to share all these different dimensions of your experience as a mom and as a writer and just as a human navigating life. So thank you.
Taylor Harris: Thanks so much and thanks for reading it.
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